derangermouse

derangermouse t1_jaf2mqo wrote

This is like “pre-crime” from Minority Report. Are you going to punish someone for something they might do? Or should life be allowed to play itself out and hope for the best? Sounds like you’re in the habit of being very hard on yourself.

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derangermouse t1_jaf0u3y wrote

You’re not responsible, on any level, for what he does after the theoretical breakup. You may feel guilty, but it’s unfounded. I have been in therapy for 20 years, I have severe depression, anxiety, and I also take medication for ADHD.

If he doesn’t want to do the work, something about his status quo has to change. Unfortunately it might be losing you that is finally the catalyst he needs to improve. He wants to be a stubborn man, that’s on him.

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derangermouse t1_jaeyfmd wrote

You probably won’t want to hear this, but there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re at a point in your life where your world is expanding. You can be happy with one guy but still be interested in another.

You’re 18. Your personal growth brain centers are firing on full blast. Give yourself a break. If you want to venture out, it’s up to you. If not, wait for the feeling to pass.

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derangermouse t1_jaewp9e wrote

Give your fiancé some space and time to process his feelings. It’s normal to be distant and cold after such a heated argument, and pushing him to be affectionate or communicative might only make things worse. Instead, show him through your actions that you are committed to making things right.

Let him know that you're willing to listen to him when he's ready to talk, but don't pressure him to open up before he's ready.

Until then, focus on taking care of yourself and your baby.

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derangermouse t1_jaev95m wrote

A year has passed since the kiss and both of you have likely moved on. Bringing it up now doesn't necessarily mean that you have feelings for him or that you are trying to start something romantic. You can approach the conversation from a place of curiosity and a desire for clarity or closure.

You could try sending him a message or arranging to meet up with him, and explain that you would like to talk about the kiss from a year ago. You can acknowledge that it was a drunken mistake and that you don't have any expectations or intentions beyond having an open and honest conversation. You could also express that you feel embarrassed to bring it up, but that you think it's important to clear the air and ensure that there are no lingering feelings or misunderstandings between you.

Before anything happens though, consider whether or not discussing this with M25 would be respectful to your current boyfriend.

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derangermouse t1_jaede4x wrote

Your cousin doesn’t know his place. Your bf should be sharing these issues with you, not air out your business behind your back. If your bf is comfortable sharing private stuff with another person, he doesn’t seem that trustworthy. It sounds disrespectful, to be honest.

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