My bf (m24) talking crap behind my (f20) back

Submitted by vampiria101 t3_11ejhav in relationship_advice

So I was invited by my bf (M24) to hang out with his friend and his gf. I would normally be stoked to meet another couple and chill. But the times I (20F) met him he mocked my fights with my bf. After asking my bf what he was talking about, he said that he vents to him a lot about us. On top of that, my bf tells me that they like to compare gfs, and what we do for them, whos gf makes better lunch, etc.

Recently my cousin and my bf started to get close and they talk a lot, but my cousin came to me one day and said that my bf was eager to talk crap about me, and he was joking about me for a while. I know my cousin wouldn't tell me something to just hurt me so I'm keeping in mind that my bf can get carried away with talking about us to people. I don't mind if my bf vents about us to his friends, but I just don't like this at all... should I try to make friends? is it too late to be angry at my bf and repair this? We are very committed and he tells me he wants to marry me. What / how do i go about this?

4

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

peakpenguins t1_jaedu2x wrote

You wanna marry a guy who talks shit about you behind your back and compares you to his friend's girlfriends?

22

Witch_on_a_moped t1_jaeegxe wrote

You mean your ex bf right?? You're staying with a guy that talks shit about you to people and compares you to ther girls?? What the hell, girl.

13

BinkoBankoBonko t1_jaedzer wrote

He sabotages any chance he can for you to have a personal relationship with anyone on his side. He is building a wall between you and his people. This is a surefire way to lose a girlfriend IMO.

A partner is someone who at a minimum has your back. Your boyfriend is not meeting the bare minimum requirements of even a basic friend.

A life of your (future) husband shit talking literally you to everyone who will listen does not sound like a future. It sounds honestly really lonely.

11

carbinePRO t1_jaeg0v7 wrote

This guy ain't it. I say dump him if he's not going to be good to you even when you're not around.

6

HHIOTF t1_jaev1kz wrote

You don't have any friends? For real? You definitely should make some if you don't have any. That isn't healthy at all.

Since I don't know what your BF said, I can't judge if he's out of line. Not sure what talking crap is.

2

broxsie t1_jaez8kh wrote

Girl no. Stop. This isn’t worth saving. You are worth so much more.

2

AutoModerator t1_jaecx59 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

derangermouse t1_jaede4x wrote

Your cousin doesn’t know his place. Your bf should be sharing these issues with you, not air out your business behind your back. If your bf is comfortable sharing private stuff with another person, he doesn’t seem that trustworthy. It sounds disrespectful, to be honest.

0

carbinePRO t1_jaegysx wrote

Her cousin did OP a favor. What do you mean? He's just looking out for her. If all my cousin's bf did was talk shit about her to me when we hung out, it'd make me incredibly uncomfortable and I'd report him to her too.

6