Overall the whole marriage thing is not your actual problem here. You have 2 problems. 1 is that you have put so much emphasis on a ceremony that it's clouding your ability to recognise that real love feels like friendship must of the time with a sprinkling of romance and sex to whatever degree is enough for both of you. So step back and ask yourself, if you got married tomorrow and nothing else in your relationship changed, would you want it?

The 2nd is a lot more important. You've said you want emotional vulnerability from your partner. That's a valid and important need. It's also one that many men have been trained out of. It takes emotional maturity to be able to openly share your feelings and experiences in a vulnerable way and it's a much more common trait in women than men because of how we're respectively socialised. It's a skill so he can absolutely learn it, but he has to want to for himself and you can't make him. That's the conversation you really need to have, that you want more emotional intimacy than you're currently sharing.

Be prepared that he may be unwilling or unable to meet that need. It would be very painful but it's better to know that early and cut your losses. No amount of friendship and ease will stop you from feeling disconnected if you don't share emotional intimacy. You can consider if it's something you can get in other relationships, e.g. with friends, but if it's important to you in your primary relationship you need to sort out whether that's possible with this guy.

If you decide its a deal breaker, be aware that you will go through a lot of men before you find one of the few who is capable and willing. Men are actively trained to avoid their emotions and most are not willing to do the work and face the hard feelings that are necessary to build that skill. Especially at 24 while they're brains are still finishing up developing, though your generation has grown up with a lot more exposure to emotional intelligence than previous generations so you've got better odds than older women. Wishing you the best, this is such an unpleasant experience to go through

Look into POTS, it's a condition that contains this symptom and a host of others. There's a great community that can give you insight about it if it fits for you

Oh honey, this is everyone else's fuck up. Your mother is a piece of work, I can't even begin to unpack that atrocity of a parent. But your therapist?! What the ever living fuck. I would seriously consider making a formal complaint. It doesn't sound like you were given a heads up or asked for consent and you were coerced into physical contact with a person who subjected you to abuse and actively protected the abuser she was fully aware of. That's so incredibly messed up and wildly unprofessional. I'm so sorry this happened to you

This is excellent news! The studies so far are incredibly promising and with this change there's potential for much bigger studies to identify risks and benefits across a greater cross section of patients. Fantastic decision, hope to see supply and real life implementation arrive quickly from here