Submitted by newshoeshudis t3_yaz46h in todayilearned
Nothing in this world is a more terrifyingly ass-puckering sound than my mother yelling my first and middle name together.
shudders
And this is why I changed mine. She can't use what she doesn't know.
Taps forehead
She knows.
We're estranged ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You never got called by all three names?
You must be some Johnnie-too-good
I'm now inspired for an RPG character that goes by "Johnnie-too-shoes"
...he sells shoes and is way too into them
The joys of not having a middle name!
I only went by my middle since my parents decided to give me the human equivalent of Spot or Rover. Still can't stand it.
Top 10 scariest things; when your father answers the phone like ”hello? Yes this is him. He did what?!” Aaaaaw shit here we go again
My grandmother was expert at this. She sometimes didn't even have to say anything, just give this particular look which would stop you from doing whatever you were doing immediately.
She worked with alcoholics and drug addicts as well as general mental health patients and despite being under 5ft, she could put the fear of God into men who really could have easily taken her out.
You forgot the wooden spoon
Trust me, she didn’t.
When they add your last name as well, run!
-"Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin! Leave that country alone!" -"But, ma..." -"Inside Kremlin Now!".
"Don't make me turn this invasion around!"
James Aloyosious Francis Sean Patrick Lamborghini Houlihan! Get down offa tbat roof before I get the slipper!
You can be gruff and tough all you want. You can swing pickaxes and hammers and beat your chest in front of all the other prisoners...but if you had a good mother growing up, the last thing you want to do is disappoint her. Never underestimate the power of a pissed off mom.
One of my best friends' mom says "[firstname], my child, I'm sad and disappointed".
She's not even mine but it chills me to the bone. (although she might be the closest thing I have to one ig)
Breh...ouch. That cuts. That just hurts deep down.
What does it mean if I don’t care if she says that? :s
Of course, Ed Kemper killed his mother and fucked her head. I’m not quite sure who you’d go to to get him back in line…
Well, and I just had to Google that
[deleted]
Motherfucker got a howler from Harry Potter
I wonder if this inspired that scene in Night’s Watch where Ankh-Morpork’s soldiers get convinced to stop fighting rioters after their moms shame them
All the little angels rise up, rise up
I wouldn't be surprised either way.
Pratchett was extensively well-read and referenced current events, history, and fiction more times than the average person would even notice.
But he also had a deep understanding of people and would easily come to the conclusion that a man is still a boy to his mother.
Also in several of the Lancre witches books, King Verence is very careful not to give his army* orders that go against Nanny Ogg’s instructions, because he knows who’s scarier.
*Shawn Ogg
Gotta respect the Lancre chain of command*
*Nanny Ogg
And angry grannies
The good ol irish Mammy
Your man heard his mam and went quietly so he did.
Having worked with many Irish over the years. Few are better than the Irish at telling a good story.
Mammy muttering under her breath, "Feckin gobshites."
More like,
"Jesus Jimmy get down now before the neighbours see or I'll bate the living bejaysus outta you and yer poxy friends"
🤭
She's not mad. She's just... disappointed.
Oh cmon, you KNOW that’s worse!
That’s mom for “mad!”
Heard about this story on the excellent Doc on One podcast on the riot. The story was told by one of the prisoners that had been involved in the riot and on the roof.
"Dude, he's getting his mom! She killed that bat the other day!"
Reminds me of catching teenage shoplifters in my retail years. “We’re going to call the police…” “Hah! Go ahead!!” “…who will call your mum.” “Nooooo!!! Please!!!” I remember the mums. More terrifying than any policeman.
Family friend of ours was a retired rural police officer. Being based in such a small place he knew everybody on sight and pretty much their family tree/relations to everybody else. He said much the same as you- particularly if it was a boy or younger man, a threat to come round to their house to speak to their mother worked better than any threat of arrest. In a lot of cases, word quickly got to the arrested person's mother and she'd come storming down the street with a rolling pin/spoon/broom in hand and start giving their son hell.
He actually jokingly said that they should have given all the village mothers police uniforms. The crime rate would be zero because everyone would be petrified of getting the spoon.
Emotional damage!
I understood this.
His mom read him so thoroughly that his homeboys got embarrassed and surrendered too.
I can only imagine the cringe.
Irish mammies are undefeated
Malcolm in the Middle did it.
I can even remember the scene, paraphrased:
> Lois: stares
> Dewey: (flat) "I'm cold. We should come down. This wasn't such a good idea. I'm scared. We're disappointing her-"
> Malcolm: (shaking him) "DEWEY! Stop looking at her!"
I meant the episode with the motorcycle gang taking over the house and Dewey calling all of their mothers to make them leave. Were you talking about the billboard episode?
That's the one.
Dude got a real-life howler!
Didn’t even need to use her wooden spoon.
Don't mess with an Irish mammy.
Was her name Molly, by chance? Last name starts with W?
Or Agnes?
Surprised she needed a megaphone.
There's nobody on the planet scarier than angry Irish women. Fkkn no one.
Perhaps an angry Scottish woman. I once flipped my mother the bird on the way out the door. Unfortunately, she’d followed me into the room and saw it. Before I knew it, she had me pinned to the stairs and was smacking the shit out of me. Luckily, her yelling woke up my father and he intervened before she could “break that finger!”
You should have asked her if she was on her period. That always works.
Omg. She was just waiting for me to back talk her. My mother was very passive aggressive. She turned off my alarm and woke me up 15 minutes late by telling me she’d made me pancakes. I never ate breakfast. So I’m bolting down the food as fast as I can without actually gagging, I’ve got 25 minutes to shower, get dressed and make it to the bus stop…and she sits down across from me with her cup of tea, fixes me with a cold stare, and says, “So. When are you going to clean your room?”
I’ve never been a morning person. My mother had to wake me up for preschool. And nobody can push your buttons like the person who installed them!
"Jesus ma, don't embarrass me in front of the boys"
Ignore the law, ignore the guards, Ignore the warden, if you must.
But don’t ignore mom!
RONALD WEASLEY YOU GET BACK IN THAT CELL THIS INSTANT! YOUR FATHER IS FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK!!!
Mother-power, THE original super power
She used his middle name.
That’s the Scottish and Irish version of abuela and a her chancla.
“Get off the fookin’ roof ya dopey bastard!”
And away they did go …
They showed the prison closure on Irish tv and one of the last prisoners being brought to the boat was a man I used to buy Cannabis from. Loads of history on that small island. Its closure brought a huge Heroin problem to the nearby city as that jail was relatively Heroin free and the youth offenders were shipped to another youth prison, St Pat's Dublin which was full of it and those prisoners came back addicted and had made connections to suppliers in St Pats. I personally believed it was deliberate as at the same time there was a large never seen before Cannabis shortage in the city and Ireland was flooded with Heroin from the war in Afghanistan. Pre Afghan war Heroin use had dropped dramatically.
That’s fucked up. He’s already in prison, they didn’t have to add to it and call his mom.
[deleted]
Its funny because it was a dilapidated former military fort that prisoners were stuffed into with out regards to their safety or if there was room
No one... I mean no one wants to here nagging for that long. Especially over a mega phone.
It’s like if the Howler from Harry Potter came to life.
Please tell me someone transcribed it...
My Mom, God rest her soul, could have pulled this off.
So I guess she was a tiger or something.
If you want to hear a true horror story check out the New Mexico prison riots that happened in the 80s. No yelling mother was going to stop those savages.
redentification t1_itdwhgw wrote
She probably used his middle name, too.