Submitted by ExpertPreference8481 t3_11bru51 in todayilearned
...and what happened to the cow?
Fell down, and so became ground beef.
Did they send you your official dad 'stache yet or is it still in the mail?
Good news Mum, we'll have a BBQ tonight!
NOTHING!
"It WAS LIKE THAT WHEN WE CAME OUT TO PLAY THIS MORNING, MOM - I SWEAR!"
We found a way to mow the cornfield very quick, mom!
The positive part of this story is that unlike Australia and their loss in the Great Emu War, it put a victorious end to the US's Great Cattle Rebellion of 1863. Log cabins also know their place.
Lincoln logs were actually made to commemorate the victory of The Log Cabin Massacre of 1863. President Lincoln himself was gifted a set made from wood out of the original cabin
I believe this is shown in a post credit scene of the documentary Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
Cows with guns
Oh man, I haven’t thought of that in decades 😆
Chik fil A’s getting really crazy with their advertising
Why not just put the two cannon ball attached by chain down the bore of one cannon?
Because that is way too sensible and effective. Navies had been doing that for a long time. The failure here is so predictable, you can't get the split second synchronization you need between the two barrels, so one fires first, snapping the chain.
They could have had one big chamber behind the two bores. The force would still be uneven but at least on time.
Any slight frictional difference between the bores will doom it. That is the real Achilles heel.
probably really hard to forge that
If they had just put a set of ball-chain down each of the bore, they might have won the war. On second thought, maybe it was for the best they were a bunch of dummies.
It did work, but they were too frightened by the results. Which, thinking of it, proves even more that they were dummies.
it sounds like it actually fired fine, and the chain snapped in it's flight
No you don’t understand, the very bad is of their idea had the potential to change war in a way far greater than the nuclear bomb. The war gods thus deemed it unusable and snapped its chain in their bovicidal show of power.
> bovicidal
I learned a new word today, but will not likely ever see another chance to use it.
And meanwhile there's such a powerful moment/torque that the trajectories are completely unpredictable as stated in the title.
Exactly why The two canons in downtown Nanaimo were forcibly removed by Canada's gang leader Trudeau...
But how do you get the rapid acceleration in a single barrel to not snap the chain?
Similar to dieseling a pellet gun with petroleum jelly YouTube that...
While that was practiced regularly in the past, the double barrel cannon was supposed to make it so the two balls were stretched out and the chain could cut down advancing soldiers. Stuffing both balls down one barrel causes the shot to spin around wildly and it loses some accuracy.
Are mini uzi's accurate ?
The confederates weren't too bright.
The union won by sheer numbers and then resorting to terrorism.
The Confederates killed way many more yankees than the other way around.
So what if the traitors killed more patriots? They still lost and killing more makes them worse
Lincoln started the war and resorted to rape and terrorism. He is responsible for that. And most of those fighting for the Union did so because Lincoln would fucking arrest or kill them if they didn't.
There was no good side. The Confederate states left for the wrong reason, but they made EVERY attempt to leave peacefully as was their absolute, legally documented, right to do so (right to secession was a condition of ratifying the Constitution). Lincoln refused all diplomacy and started the war, and he didn't give a flying fuck about slavery. He killed those people and shredded the Constitution for power and power alone. That makes him worse by orders of magnitude.
Put the fairy tales down.
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From a simple google search, neither of those claims are true.
Ironclads were invented by the French navy and submarines have been designed multiple times since the 16th century. And even if you stretch it to only include metal submarines, there is the Brandtaucher which predates the confederacy by 10 years.
Why do you enjoy spreading misinformation?
Lmao as if those idiots could actually invent anything useful
Liar
Increasing the weight of the payload without extra force reduces the range. Also the chain doesn’t really help against infantry.
Oh it most definitely would. Chain shot was already a thing long before, you would just use smaller caliber balls or half balls for it.
Yeah but it wasn’t for infantry, it’s primary use was for destroying rigging. Grapeshot was used for infantry
It used to be used against infantry and fortress garrisons, but the carnage it created was so nasty a treaty was signed to ban it's use on land.
All I can find is that it was used a handful of times on land. What treaty are you talking about?
The instance I'm thinking of was the 1631 destruction of Magdeburg. I was mistaken on the attackers using it as it was actually the defenders using it instead. The Wikipedia page for chain-shot has a brief mention that the use of chain on land against infantry angered the attackers, but isn't specific on exactly why or how. Edit: Here is the bit that was written containing mention of the use of chain on the attackers.
After some googling, this is the closest thing referencing what I remember, that the use of chain on land was seen as especially nasty, and connects those sentiments to Magdeburg. As for a treaty, the treaty signed after the war ended made no mention on weapon or munition bans, so I must be mistaken on that front too. Not to mention that use of chain against infantry in a few instances in the 19th century suggests that no recognized bans were in place.
>The Wikipedia page for chain-shot has a brief mention that the use of chain on land against infantry angered the attackers, but isn't specific on exactly why or how.
Angering the attackers is an amusing choice of words.
this is in comparison to two shots. a chain shot can only spread itself out about 2 feet wide. dont get me wrong, it was nasty, but there's a reason it was primarily used for naval combat, and never was consistently used on land.
>Local lore suggests it was and remains pointed to the north as a warning against northern aggression.
Seems like you should point it in any other direction if you actually want to threaten the North with it.
And the North weren't the aggressors either.
Imagine how the civil war would have gone if SC didn't attack Ft. Sumter.
Don't get me started on the mental gymnastics of Southern apologists who insist that the Federal government started the war by resupplying a Federal fort in South Carolina.
Land that South Carolina had ceded to the Federal government.
So...
You fucking suck at logic and have no honesty.
Tell you what. You let a gang build up and armed group in your foyer while eying your wife and daughter and promise me you won't call them aggressors.
Try reading some actual history instead of just watching Tucker Carlson and listening to Alex Jones.
Never watched or listened to either one.
Guess again. And don't tell other people to read, when you obviously are just regurgitating a dumbass opinion that fails spectacularly under any scrutinization at all.
Tell me the truth. If a gang starts building up an armed group in the front of your house are you just gonna sit there and let them do it and not call them aggressors?
I bet you can't tell the truth, because it shows how idiotic your dumbass regurgitated opinion is.
No, because it's a false analogy that I won't engage with. Fort Sumter was a federal fort on federal land that was already garrisoned by federal troops. Resupplying that fort was 100% within the federal government's rights. No one provoked SC. They just got scared that the new president-elect might take their precious slaves away from them, so they illegally seceded from the Union and ordered the government to abandon their own forts. They then attacked an unarmed ship that attempted to resupply Fort Sumter. At every step, the Confederate forces were the aggressors. But I'm not going to argue with a Lost Causer, since you probably refuse to accept actual historical evidence.
Like I said.
You cannot be honest. Thanks for proving me right I guess, not that I needed it.
When South Carolina seceded, as they had an absolute right to do so, previous contracts were no longer valid and Sumter belonged to SC. Even so, the Confederacy attempted diplomacy and was even willing to compensate the Union, for the partially complete fort. You claiming it was already garrisoned by federal troops is an exaggeration as it wasn't even complete yet. Regardless, when the Confederate diplomats arrived in Washington, Lincoln refused to meet with them at all. He refused peaceful means in order for war. That is the cold hard, documented and undeniable fact. He also upended the democratic process in other states such as Maryland where he actually arrested legislatures to prevent them from doing their fucking jobs.
And you didn't just stop there with the dishonesty. That "unarmed" ship wasn't unarmed at all. It was full of military and supplies. The union used a civilian ship to do their dirty work and pull a fast one. Nobody was fooled.
The confederacy fired the first shots in self defense and only to rightfully reclaim their property and protect the city of Charleston and the port. Claiming that the South started the war despite the facts is no absolutely different whatsoever than my analogy and to claim otherwise is blatantly dishonest.
So once again, answer the fucking question or sit down and shut up rather than just spouting dishonest bullshit.
Tell me the truth. If a gang starts building up an armed group in the front of your house are you just gonna sit there and let them do it and not call them aggressors?
This is why I shouldn't engage with people like you. Enjoy the cross burning with the boys tonight.
Because you get called out for your dishonesty.
So you resort to making more false claims as is your nature. I don't have a shred of racism.
I'm sure a liar like you probably has plenty though
cool
Probably not much different. Ft. Sumter was the first major action between two armies but the violence began months earlier. There had been armory raids across the South. An escalation to full scale war was bound to happen somewhere before long if not there.
They were to anyone with a triple digit IQ and a hint of honesty. Secession isn't an act of war, nor is self defense.
Athens Georgia. I lived there when I was a kid. This canon is really close to the tree that owns itself.
Sadly, that tree is now the second generation of tree that owns itself
Oh wow! It’s been probably 39 years since I’ve been there.
The original tree was hundreds of years old so you probably knew its seedling. It is an interesting landmark though
> Athens, Georgia
location names are weird
This might be the only time I’ve ever seen someone use the incorrect version of canon/cannon this way instead of the other way around.
Almost a mile apart. The cannon is by the court house and the tree is near Brumby Hall.
Yeah, I wouldn’t consider it close at all. I guess it’s close in that it’s located in the same town?
Within a mile is close
>northern aggression
Remind me, who shot first?
Cope, traitors
But, but, but the Federal government sent supplies to a Federal fort on Federal land! A clear act of aggression!
That’s too many damn cows killed on the field of battle
I wonder how many random animals have died in crossfire from battles.
Oh George, not the livestock
Don’t worry, now it’s dead stock.
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I hate cows more than coppers!
There’s a monument in London to all the animals killed in wars.
I didn't think about that until I watched The Thin Red Line. It puts a lo of emphasis on war's senseless destruction, not only of people and man-made things, but of nature and animals, too. Imagine how many marine animals died from bombs falling into the sea, how many habitats were destroyed. Defoliant use during the Vietnam War was a huge ecological disaster, we'd boo any company that did stuff like that for profit, but it was done for war so it's okay.
I wonder how many random animals have been killed by soldiers for fun/food.
It actually wasn’t uncommon for most of history for soldiers to forage/loot their own food.
My exact point
Diablo would like a word with you.
Mom! Phineas and Ferb are building a double-barreled cannon!
You are so busted!
It would definitely destroy itself and not leave any evidence behind... lol
That cow was a carpetbaggin' southern unionist anyway
Mostly hated the cow for being both white and black
OK - both y’all clever bastards…enjoy my upvotes. Nothing better that a little antebellum humor to make my day. 😂
That cow’s miscegenated!
"Local lore suggests it was and remains pointed to the north as a warning against northern aggression."
I'm shaking in my boots.
I’d be much more concerned if a cannonball killed a cow very slowly and deliberately. So this test seemed like a success.
One more idiocy brought by the Confederates
I feel like there's something hilarious about pointing a weapon "to warn against Northern aggression" when the weapon in question is one you know catastrophically doesn't work.
Honestly if that's not the most Confederate thing I've ever heard I'm not sure what is.
This cannon actually belonged to my family.
I'm a descendant of John Gilleland who built it and I even grew up on Gilleland drive in Athens, GA until I was 10 years old.
The "house" was a run down shack built in the 1920's that was adjacent to the family graveyard which has since been bulldozed... The house, not the graveyard. If you go the graveyard today (difficult to find because the new houses block the view), the large family headstone actually says "Sims" on it, because the family patriarch was a privateer for the English crown who settled in GA.
When I attended UGA and was out bar hopping with buddies I would sometimes walk up to the cannon and tell them it was mine.
I waited for the Athens City bus next to this bad boy my whole sophomore year.
Tally ho lads!
Was it grapeshot though?
What cowliber shot do you think it was?
A quarterpounder?
What about this:
The barrels are independent; OP’s cannon (because of the chain shot) would have to be fired simultaneously.
In the modern era,military contractors would say”successful proof-of-concept” and the Pentagon would order 10,000 units at $75 million per.
But only 5 canons end up getting delivered at 10 times the price before the program is canceled. Total cost plus R&D, a gazillion dollars.
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That day was also the invention of the first hamburger.
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Welp that idea was clearly benched before it could run.
Its on display in Athens GA by the courthouse if anyone is interested.
Own a double-barrel cannon for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.
You jest, but they straight up did expect people to keep cannon around for their militias.
It's definitively not the only double-barrel cannon in the world, because even if you argue autocannon that exist most notably in naval ships are somehow a different category of cannon and don't count, a modernized replica of this exact cannon was built on the reality show American Guns.
Most effective Confederate invention:
Well, cannons are supposed to be deadly
"As an observer of the lone test of Gilleland’s cannon recounted, ”[The chain shot] had a kind of circular motion, plowed up an acre of ground, tore up a cornfield, and mowed down saplings. The chain broke, the two balls going in opposite directions; one of the balls killed a cow in a distant field, while the other knocked down the chimney from a log cabin.”
The chain didn't break immediately. Reading the trail of destruction, I call that a resounding success. I can't help but wonder and clench my neither sphincter at the idea of what it would have done to an Union battalion.
Why didn't they just fire it twice?
I remember this from a music documentary in the 80s.
The 3 things Athens, Gerogia is famous for:
The double-barrel cannon
A tree that somehow owns itself
A weird local college rock band made big, named "R.E.M.".
John Gaius approves of this post
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Then salt the earth so nothing can grow again
It seems to be mandatory for stories like this to include the accidental death of a cow bystander.
I get to walk by this beast almost everyday, it’s pretty cool
Dinner around the fire pit...the American Way
Oh, I was thinking more along the lines of shoot once, shoot a second time. Reload both. I imagined there was some efficiency gained form a man power perspective. I.e. a crew on a double barrel canon could shot more often per member than a two crews on two guns. And you can see where your last shot went and shoot again immediately.
Yeah that's what happens when you expect black powder to burn evenly in two different barrels.
Free beef tonight!
Dumb question - why not just load them each with ball / grape, light one (boom) light the next (boom) then reload both? In fact, why not have almost a chaingun-type contraption where you just keep firing the next in line until it's empty then reloading the lot at once? Surely that would have saved loads of time? The only issue I can think of is weight but these ones look tiny anyway.
AnthillOmbudsman t1_j9zh6cd wrote
Then the mom came outside: "What are you boys doing out there? Why does it smell like smoke?"