TIFU by telling my therapist’s partner that he had gorgeous eyes

Submitted by katecolbras t3_z6k42e in tifu

So I was walking to Starbucks and a dog came around a corner and before I saw the owner I was like “can I pet your dog?” And then I realized it was my therapist! We caught up and I gave her dog lots of pets, and then her partner walked out of Starbucks. I had heard a lot about him so I was excited to meet him.

My therapist introduced me to him and I was like “hey it’s nice to meet you! Dude, you have gorgeous eyes.” And then asked him about a hobby we shared. But they both looked super uncomfortable. To be clear, I am a lesbian and was in no way interested romantically in this guy. I just like complimenting people man 😭😭. And I know men don’t get nearly as many compliments as they should. But anyway, now I feel super bad that I made this guy so uncomfortable, and I’m scared that my therapist is going to bring it up at our next session. Why am I like this.

TL;DR: I complimented my therapist’s partner and he got super uncomfy and I hate myself.

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orio-s t1_iy1vimx wrote

Honestly you didn’t FU. You simply gave a compliment and it wasn’t even in a weird way. If your therapist brings it up address that you had no ill intentions and that you genuinely just thought he had nice eyes. If she is still upset thats on her🤷

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DcikHurtzer t1_iy1x6vc wrote

She’s a therapist. If she bothers you about it tell her to build a bridge and get over it.

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fliguana t1_iy1z7sx wrote

Now your therapist needs some therapy. gif

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murtygurty2661 t1_iy3lwxn wrote

I'm willing to bet that given your immediate and lasting anxiety over this means that it's not an issue but is probably something that would be worth exploring in your therapy ironically enough.

"Here's something mundane that happened and has driven me up the wall"

You know it's insane, I assume your therapist knows you're a lesbian so why would it cause this much distress?

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HomoeroticPosing t1_iy3vsgv wrote

Go into therapy like “have I mentioned that I’m homosexual not just today, but consistently?”

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madammissylady t1_iy41n9n wrote

Assert dominance, tell your therapist she has a nice ass.

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MJGM235 t1_iy42vpb wrote

If your therapist is that insecure she shouldn't be helping anyone else with their problems. I think the uncomfort was yours and now the anxiety. I'm sure they forgot about the whole thing by now.

I used to get compliments on my eyes all the time when I was young. Always felt good!

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magnetic_mystic t1_iy493h3 wrote

I find it concerning that you know anything at all about your therapist's partner. Your therapy relationship and time are supposed to be about you 100%. Any sharing of personal info by the therapist is supposed to serve a therapeutic purpose.

Also it's not entirely appropriate for your therapist to introduce you to her partner in the street, as it creates a high likelihood of HIPAA violation, this probably was a violation if she indicated in any way that you were her client.

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Tanagrabelle t1_iy4hce8 wrote

There is one thing that should reassure you tremendously, though. Her partner clearly knows nothing about you. Which means she doesn't talk about her patients. Which might really mean that her uncomfortableness might be because there was no way for her to give her partner context without violating your trust. Emphasized because I've just read some of the other responses.

If you feel up to it, next time you go to her, apologize for putting her in that position and thank her for being so professional.

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RefrigeratorFit599 t1_iy4jzzk wrote

I believe the uncomfortable situation was about the shared hobbies. This indicates that your therapist has mentioned about a hobby that the guy likes and you just caught him out of nowhere and mentioned that you know about your shared hobbies. I would also be uncomfortable if my therapist girlfriend was sharing my personal life with her clients.

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magnetic_mystic t1_iy4k9j2 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#738,434)

Exactly. This is why there are rules about these things for mental health providers.

To me, it's less harmful to say, "oh, yeah my partner is a soccer guy too. So I know how consuming it can be," than it is that OPs therapy time has been used to discuss the therapists personal life to any extent.

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monkeyhind t1_iy4xcm9 wrote

It sounds to me like a good topic to bring up at your next session. You can say they both looked super uncomfortable and see if the therapist acknowledges it and/or if your therapist says it was all in your head. Should be some interesting stuff underneath!

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HeadWolf69 t1_iy56td4 wrote

I’m confused, your therapist talks about her partner “a lot” in therapy?

Isn’t that the real FU?

Therapy is about YOU, and your life. I don’t think that in 20 years of on and off therapy, I had a therapist explicitly mention partners, even though I have done so much unloading about MY relationships. Never anything more than wedding rings, maybe family picture on the desk.

If you hear a lot of her talking about her life on the clock, that’s not really professional on her part. I know it’s friendly but the therapist is not your friend.

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kegido t1_iy5ilcg wrote

To second another poster, it is inappropriate for your therapist to be sharing info on her life with you, she needs to go back for a refresher on healthy boundaries.

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aussie_nub t1_iy6kvm5 wrote

Replying to murtygurty2661 (#732,169)

I like the idea of not telling her straight up it's a story about their interaction and see if she works it out.

Maybe it's because I don't have a therapist and never been to one... but I'd think meeting a professional of that type outside of your professional business seems weird. Like seeing a GP, dentist or escort on the street.

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