Submitted by Longjumping_Chair639 t3_yuzs5k in tifu
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Submitted by Longjumping_Chair639 t3_yuzs5k in tifu
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Sucks but you’re gonna have to move on bud. May take awhile seeing how you’ve got that pent up anger/regret. Cheers to a smooth(er) recovery!
You're 19, you haven't missed the love of your life. She is better off without you though.
You need to do some growing up before you consider going into serious relationships.
Good for her. For real, she doesn't deserve that.
This is gonna sound harsh but good for her not getting stuck with someone who can't stand up for her.
Also you're 19. You're still very young and understandably immature. This is not the end of the world and I guarantee you that those six months will feel like a blip years from now when you're with the right person. You've learned an important lesson and the pain you feel now is growth.
Take it from someone who has been there a time or ten, consider this a learning experience and move on. Life is not meant to be lived in rewind; you should always be moving forward. Take the lesson and move on with my best wishes for a bright future.
Refers to women as "Female" hangs out with guys who call someone's girlfriend ugly to their face, broke up with a girl because of how attractive he thought other people found her, broke up with again because someone else thought she was weird.... Whoa, future incel here.
No you didnt.
Good for her.
Also, get better friends.
You're young so as for being the love of your life I'm not sure this is it BUT I will say yeah this is on you. You treated her horribly and people aren't something you can pick up when it suits and drop. You listened to everyone else. On you. You chose your actions. Let the poor girl be. She deserves to be happy and with someone happy and not indecisive as fuck about what he wants.
Ive been there man but you're still young, you'll find other women you share a connection with. And not rub salt in the wound but it's a good thing you realize this was your fault once you realize your own behavior is problematic you can work to change it, I would recommend you really reflect on yourself and the person you are and ask what else you'd want to change about yourself that is the only way you can grow as person and become the man that you're supposed to be. Pain is the best teacher and regret is a close second now let go of the anger and work on bettering yourself so you'll be ready for the next relationship you find yourself in. Last piece of advice let this girl go, no matter what your heart tells you leave her alone. If the future bring you guys back together than it'll have to be her decision trying to force it or wait out her relationship is only going to prevent you from moving on an finding your true happiniess
Sounds like you are an asshole. People like you never change. This girl deserves the world you deserve to be lonely forever.
I approve.
Good for her she didn't let her tossed around like that.
Jezus Christ....
No no help. You now have learned a valuable lesson. She deserves better than how you've treated her. She gave you multiple chances. Do you understand how shattered and heart broken she must've been? Then to deal with it again... I'm proud of her for moving on. Those aren't friends by the way. Or at least stand up and if they stop and apologize then understandable or if they were bringing up red flags.
Take this lesson and learn how to treat women you are getting to the age where dating habits stick. That's not one you want to stick or get used to.
Exactly. Those aren't friends
You should of listened to your heart and not your head or anyone else this is what happens you have to accept the fact she is happy and move on it hurts now but the second chance you should of taken that's on you if she was the one you wanted
Similar events happend with me around the same age, my dad kept making fun of me for always dating "fat women" (even though he was fat himself). When he went to prison for 2 years i was able to finally work through my mental health and emotions and got back with my ex, who i had left for the same reasons as you, and now we have been together for over 6 years and we just got married last weekend. When you find someone you truly love and enjoy being with, don't let others tell you how to feel.
Yeah it’s time to just move on dude. Good for her for moving on now it’s time for you to do the same. Also get new friends if you haven’t already and try not to let their options dictate how you treat other people. If you have friends who just outright call the person you are interested in “ugly”, you need to reconsider your friends and their motives.
You're kind of an asshole. I get it though. We've all made mistakes when it comes to dating. You need to stop caring about what other people think though. Letting other people control your life isn't healthy. I hope the guy she's with now treats her better than you did though.
He calls himself a male in the same sentence yet you pick that side huh. You know without the internet the issue around the word female wouldn't even be on anyone's horizon. Or without Reddit maybe more specifically.
Therapy. Right now. No, not for losing her. For your chronic lack of a spine.
Dude are you kidding me, literally almost every single post referring to a woman on this app mentions their age and the letter “F” All he did was spell out the letter.
That isn't any better, but Incels have a habit of using the term "female" in ways that just don't flow normally. Nothing inherently wrong with this, but it is a trend.
I guess I'd need examples but I'm sure women can be used the same way. All about the tone and context. Still, how does that relate to the present example?
sucks for you. be better next time.
Bro, you don't know what is love. If you did, you wouldn't have been influenced that much and so many times. No offense but your story tell me that it was nothing but a crush and now you crush on her again because you can't have her anymore. Story is as old as humanity, we all crave what we can't have. The other thing you story says is that you are spineless and you can't stand for yourself. You would rather blame your friends and family along with yourself when the reason they reacted this way was mostly because of YOU. A real partner will communicate his feelings and encourage the reception of your significant other by those around you who count. If you can't tell your family and friends why you choose her and what happiness she brings you, if you can't explain why she is worth getting to know, they will obviously forge their opinion on what they see - which is going to be an awkward situation because a first meeting is always awkward if there's no foreplay to establish relations.
You not only failed to stand for yourself, you also failed her by not making friends and family understand why they should be thoughtful about her.
You should consider that you aren't ready for any for of real relationship. Go out and have fun if you want, but try to mature a little before using words like love.
It's just a common turn of phrase used by Incels. Not sure if you're oblivious to that, or just being defensive in the "not all men" vein of responses.
There isn't anything wrong with "females" as a term inherently, but it is a more clinical term and you find it a lot in really bad pick-up books. The choice of term is meant to dehumanize women (much in the way "girls" can often be used to diminish a woman's standing or accomplishments). It's not necessarily done intentionally, but it plays into a larger trend with the rest of his comment that this guy is pretty down the path to full blown incel.
Put plainly-- you're 19 and unfortunately, us guys can have varying degrees of maturity issues and you're now having to confront yours. This stuff happens and it's not just you-- but it's up to you to make changes and learn how to develop into a man. Recognizing the difference between acting like a boy vs a man is ultimately your main FU, but you'll get there depending on how much struggle you want to deal with in the meantime.
A real man figures his feelings out and, while others may provide insight or perspective into a decision, a man makes decisions about his relationships thoughtfully and knowingly. When you've committed to a partnership, it should be between you and that other person; here, you gave away your ownership of that commitment and you followed the "herd" to your detriment.
The hardest thing to comprehend right now is that, in 10-15 years, that same herd likely will not be there. Dont be the follower in your group of boys-- it's a race to develop into being a man, so work on what you need to and develop those skills now instead of ending up a 30-40 year old boy. It's hard, but being ahead of that curve is the key bc those same friends will outgrow you if you don't. The "rules" will change drastically over your next 10 years, so don't get caught falling behind or more things like this will happen.
TLDR: yeah you F'd up-- prioritize growing into a man now, or risk being outgrown.
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No. Woman is a noun that specifically refers to adult humans. "Female" is an adjective that describes physical sex characteristics of many millions of species from plants to animals, and even sometimes inanimate objects. Unless you say "female person" it's very, very dehumanizing outside of a clinical setting. Internet or no.
Ok, so why don't males get anal about it then? I'm male. Let me hear you say it too, male. I promise I won't get mad.
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Yeah, it sounds like the moment anybody said anything negative about her, he'd bail on the relationship, if he had one, anyways.
Definitely not the kind of person I'd want to be involved with.
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Good for her, she deserved better.
Get better friends.
Gain some confidence and learn that your happiness matters more than your peers' opinions.
Definitely the AH, she doesn't deserve what you put her through.
You need to grow up. No matter what anyone's opinion is, you either have to not let people's opinions bother you. Or you let them bother you so much, that you tell them to shut their mouths about someone you claim to love.
Idgaf who opens their mouth, if you are talking poorly about my partner I will tell you EXACTLY what I think of you. Could be my mother, father, or best friend. I see you and your flaws and I will start a fight. Watch how you talk about my person.
Your partner, ideally, is your person, the one who has your back and you have theirs.
If you can't do that for someone, genuinely, don't bother getting in a relationship.
Yeah man I feel for ya there but there’s no excuse for treating someone badly, just because of people around you. That’s on you, and it sounds like you have some maturing to do before looking into relationships properly
I am sorry to tell you and to be the one to slide the knife deeper into that heart of yours, BUT you had your chance and let her get away TWICE.
So this is officially a TWICE IFU and you have learned your lesson. Time to move on since she found someone who makes her happy.
You are 19 and you have plenty of life ahead of you. You will meet someone else eventually and dont FIU this time.
Let her be. Don’t bother her. She’s deserves better and you know it. You’re both young…
>This time I really thought that things would work out because I didn't care what anyone thought of her
You say that but you don't really know it to be true until you live it and actually make the choice.
Learn from this experience and be better in your next relationship.
I don't hear men referred to as males very often. People usually just say men. That would bother me too if it was something in frequent use.
And most definitely there aren't a significant and vocal population of women who refer to men as males purposely to dehumanize them, so when it is used, it's more likely to just be seen as weird as an individual comment and not a cultural issue.
Btw I'm not talking about when someone identifies themselves like me (f45) and my partner (m41) kind of way.
I feel like you should work on yourself before getting a girlfriend like you should really work on your mental health and make sure your in a good place to be in relationship because they don’t work out unless your happy. Your can’t truely be happy in a relationship if your not already happy with yourself!
Cor that comment made me oof in real life. You’re not wrong though
Nah, kid, you're fucking dumb. You've jacked this girl around at least twice. Let her be with someone that might actually know how to treat her and not give your dumb ass a third chance.
I read this a "a whole lot of murdering" and I was very concerned for a second.
Shit happens man.
I hope you take this as a lesson to better yourself and stand up for your future girlfriends better...wtf
Every police report says, a 6 foot male suspect... What do you mean you don't hear it much? Like this very post here, it said male and female and you were instantly triggered about the female aspect only. It was such a brief mention of identification. You say you're not talking about mxx, fxx, that's the only mention that this post had about it in its entirety. Problem is, I constantly see other women write posts and use the term female themselves who aren't bothered by it either. That dehumanisation part, do people writing it realise themselves they are doing that or is it just people like you who find it dehumanising? You're just saying every time someone uses the term they are being purposely dehumanising, nah I think they are just using words to communicate and you are the one saying they are being dehumanising.
r/MenAndFemales
Yeah I know that sub. You'd only visit that sub if your intention is to feel offended. That's not part of my life experience any other time. I wouldn't get offended by simply using the term male or female in a generic context, but hey anyone is welcome to be offended by whatever. Doesn't mean everyone will agree to conform to that.
My first comment explicitly excludes clinical contexts. Formal reports, medical studies and literature, etc are clinical.
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Oh no, you saved her from dating you lol. Glad she blocked a spineless fuck like you
ExoticButters79 t1_iwbr612 wrote
Sounds like you have a while lot of maturing to do before you "date" anyone