Submitted by ILikeTasks t3_yzg7xx in nottheonion
Comments
your_grammars_bad t1_ix0fh3i wrote
Actually "the incinerator" is just a nickname for this one guy in finance
BaconIsAVeg2 t1_ix0o430 wrote
He's got some great ideas about investing in chocolate coins.
GenericElucidation t1_ix2ata4 wrote
Well at least they're fungible tokens.
[deleted] t1_ix2twvd wrote
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[deleted] t1_ix2mycb wrote
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somegurl408 t1_ix2ewjz wrote
Or maybe Pam in HR.
Nortius_Maximus t1_ix2kqot wrote
Nice Archer reference.
Ok_Fee_4473 t1_ix1mose wrote
Finance guy checking in here
Schemen123 t1_ix2fup5 wrote
Should have called him 'Vaccum'
imapassenger1 t1_ix2nawt wrote
Money Chant intensifies...
Lenwins t1_ix3t8qp wrote
Well done
brosenfeld t1_ix2feti wrote
They need to hire a few Germans.
[deleted] t1_ix2gfiu wrote
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Domena100 t1_ix2ohg9 wrote
Uh, I think you got the wrong subreddit.
mrswift45 t1_ix28n6o wrote
Snoop dog Is the incinerator
Acewasalwaysanoption t1_ix2nyh0 wrote
Wrong drug and vibes mate
VibeFather t1_iwzwcff wrote
Incinerator here, I'll help
ADhomin_em t1_ix0bzq9 wrote
"When in doubt, master VibeFather, always follow your nose"
day7seven t1_ix0k883 wrote
This has nothing to do with anything and I don't know German but I think your name in German would be VibeVader which I think would be a cool user name.
micmac274 t1_ix1b1v5 wrote
It would be VibeVater, Vader is Dutch and Afrikaans.
NeilDeWheel t1_ix1dyq1 wrote
Yep, I have a chimnia in my garden. I think I should be able to “burn” a few tons of it.
Whateveryousaydude7 t1_ix1w4oc wrote
👋👋
cycleslips t1_iwzur7i wrote
Maybe they should do a little to speed things up
WhenPigsWillFly t1_ix2o4je wrote
A coked up incinerator😂
Terralips t1_ix0dbbu wrote
Well if my country needs me, then Goddamn it, I’m ready to serve.
A Belgian probably.
curds-and-whey-HEY t1_ix3ntkr wrote
I like Belgian waffles so sign me up
Rational-Discourse t1_ix190rt wrote
I’m just picturing that I Love Lucy scene where they try to keep up with the conveyer belt and have to start stuffing it down their pockets and eating it because they can’t keep up haha.
Javamac8 t1_ix2bgz9 wrote
Mad TV did exactly that scene, but with cocaine. It was great.
Heterochromio t1_ix06ir2 wrote
Incinerator? I barely knew her!
Scoobydoomed t1_ix08tj0 wrote
This is just blow out of proportion.
depressiontrashbag t1_ix2y3yn wrote
Very good.
Joe_Doblow t1_ix0po4b wrote
Maybe if the demand is that high then they should give people what they want
Impregneerspuit t1_ix167df wrote
Distribute it for free so it tanks the illegal economy
Joe_Doblow t1_ix16ffn wrote
Damn that’s a great idea
WayneKrane t1_ix265s6 wrote
Their hospitals would be full of heart attack victims
LowRepresentative291 t1_ix1ul5x wrote
I mean, legalization is still very far away, but ultimately the only true solution.
Jjex22 t1_ix2ykop wrote
Well they have the problem that Antwerp is Europe’s second busiest container port, so whether or not Belgium legalise it, it wouldn’t have much impact on the amount of illegal imports coming through their ports they’d have to deal with unless a lot of other countries did too.
Select_Repair_2820 t1_ix3s22d wrote
Just wait till Croatia enters the Schengen zone. Although there are no ports the size of Antwerp, it's still gonna see an increase in trafficking.
Ok_Philosophy_2715 t1_ix1lplq wrote
Boss: "get me Kate moss"
Riverrat423 t1_ix0tgir wrote
America will help, Charlie Sheen is on his way!
Takpusseh-yamp t1_ix07x7j wrote
I'm sure this only refers to the shitty coke that's already been cut with who-knows-what. The pure shit gets passed up to Belgian politicians, elites, and various other movers and shakers
LiaraTShepard t1_ix1b3ht wrote
It's finally my time to shine.
StraightComplaint621 t1_ix1p4jo wrote
as a bartender im sick of too much too loud cokeheads
dustinlight t1_ix29vef wrote
Ugggghgghggh, I fucking hate cocaine so much. Bartender here as well. It can be a perfect night and then a group of six coked out man children show up. It wouldn’t bother me but they all think they’re so interesting, cool and original for doing blow. Like, literally there is so much of it Belgium can’t burn it fast enough. You are just as lame as a street tweaker idgaf about the suit and the bad tie. ends rant
Regi0 t1_ix3uooy wrote
I like how cocaine has basically zero positive effects on an individual and the people around said individual, yet it's idealized by the elite or people who want to be elites who think it's a sign of status.
Dipshits.
StraightComplaint621 t1_ix332ym wrote
Hey i know those guys tooo! same here in copenhagen
69edgy420 t1_ix1p7nf wrote
I knew the entire comment section would be suggestions on how to get rid of the cocaine and I’m not disappointed by them. Lol
c_c_c__combobreaker t1_ix00knt wrote
I volunteer as tribute
No_Distribution_5843 t1_ix15n1z wrote
Give them to me I’ll um… “dispose” of it properly.
You can trust me. 😉
blbd t1_ix1wt6y wrote
The actual Onion has good advice what to do in this situation. Hire Lil Wayne to assist the interdiction efforts:
https://www.theonion.com/dea-recruits-lil-wayne-to-use-up-all-drugs-in-mexico-1819594868
710AlpacaBowl t1_ix014t9 wrote
Please allow me to offer my services. If I said i was a snowman, I think you would agree.
00doc0holliday00 t1_ix0jf3f wrote
Send it to Qatar
69edgy420 t1_ix1pi1z wrote
The government just needs to partner with Budweiser to throw a massive 80’s music festival. Solve 2 problems at once!
borkborkbork99 t1_ix26pro wrote
Obligatory reporter getting high from the burn pit
Sockoflegend t1_ix107qr wrote
It burns better if you make it into crack first
ClubbinGuido t1_ix1hm5k wrote
They should just store all that cocaine away in a warehouse and sell it once it's eventually legalised and regulated.
Ok_Fox_1770 t1_ix1qc5n wrote
My old demon in me still goes Noooooo what a waste of money
gwicksted t1_ix1v1mv wrote
I’d love a waist of money! … but you probably meant waste.
Ok_Fox_1770 t1_ix1v5im wrote
I try and still that one gets me.
Internep t1_ix2838r wrote
For someone that is ~252 years old I think you've adjusted well to our modern language.
gwicksted t1_ix1utsh wrote
Let Coca-Cola have it!
M00NCS t1_ix1xflz wrote
You can only imagine how much enters Belgium then if they find only a fraction of the loads
RebuildingABungalow t1_ix26it1 wrote
Put me in coach.
GenericElucidation t1_ix2ar1n wrote
Call Don Jr., I'm sure he'd be happy to stick his nose in.
DicknosePrickGoblin t1_ix09kh2 wrote
Never understood it's appeal, lame drug.
Dopey-NipNips t1_ix11g6n wrote
Yeah who would want to drink all night without feeling drunk, feel 10 feet tall witty funny and cool, then fuck like mad
Laaaaaame
Irion15 t1_ix14mfv wrote
Molly will do all that, and I don't have to do a bump every 45 minutes.
LowRepresentative291 t1_ix1ucsu wrote
Nah man. Completely different experience.
Irion15 t1_ix1ux0c wrote
Everything he said sounds exactly like a Molly high, and I'm not talking about the random pills you get at a rave. I also don't feel like fighting someone while on Molly. Molly wins imo.
kjpmi t1_ix3n7m1 wrote
They’re different highs.
MDMA (talking about the pure stuff, not the stuff cut with amphetamine or methamphetamine) give me more of a strong, warm, cozy, but intense feeling all over my body. And it comes in waves. There are some perceptual changes (nothing like MDA, although mixing MDA and MDMA is nice) which cocaine doesn’t have at all. Like I really like the audio changes I get with MDMA. It’s like I can feel sound somehow. Sounds seem more profound. Like listening to music on MDMA can be such a profound experience.
Coke (and again, talking about just the uncut stuff) can be a little more subtle actually. You just have a generally good feeling but in your head. Any physical side effects don’t tend to be warm and cozy like MDMA.
Both can be great highs depending on how much you take, on setting, etc.
Edit: and this probably comes down to the main receptors each drug targets. MDMA mainly works on serotonin receptors. Cocaine mainly works on dopamine receptors.
limiter303 t1_ix23gyc wrote
You’re also going to absolutely wreck your brain if you do molly more than once every ~3 months
Irion15 t1_ix23umv wrote
I never said to do it like crazy lol. I know about moderation, and always try to make sure everyone else in my circle does too. I'm also the one making sure everyone drinks a little water while partying 😂 Sadly, those days are long over though. No trustworthy supply nowadays.
kjpmi t1_ix3nsq5 wrote
MDMA is probably not neurotoxic at recreational doses. That was a myth perpetuated for a long time.
There’s evidence that MDA, though, is probably slightly neurotoxic. MDA is more of a psychedelic high and can be rougher on you and the come down is definitely worse than MDMA.
limiter303 t1_ix3s038 wrote
I would be interested to see studies that prove that MDMA is not neurotoxic.
Regardless, frequent users are eventually going to experience chronic depression and cognitive issues.
kjpmi t1_ix3st1a wrote
Well, my understanding is that the data is not conclusive. Some evidence was found in rat studies but that doesn’t always translate to humans.
Here is a retracted study that tried to claim dopamine neurotoxicity from just one dose of MDMA in primates. It turns out they accidentally gave them methamphetamine instead of MDMA. retracted study
ZZZfrequently t1_ix26n0u wrote
You’re right. Molly is a good experience.
EyezLo t1_ixtylpn wrote
And molly is toxic as fuck, especially with chronic use, the longer time between rolls the better rolls
Irion15 t1_ixvahtx wrote
If you had dug to my lower comment you would see that I am a strong advocate of careful drug use. I always took care of my peeps, made sure we weren't going on binges, and kept everyone hydrated while we were on it. I know to be careful.
IntroductionSmooth t1_ix15w9z wrote
Same here. I just like the way it smells
aBoyandHisVacuum t1_ix0gq9e wrote
Some people are wired different. I dont touch uppers. Coffee will put me to sleep. Same with a huge line. I have so much energy already. Alittle different for most of my friends who cant stop talking till 6am. Lol different strokes 4 diff folks
judyvi t1_ix3o1ae wrote
This is true. I’ve never tried it because honestly none of the effects sound like a good time.
Tried weed once. Apparently it’s a drug you have to torture yourself the first few times before it gets good (honestly that is true of most alcohol too, tastes like shit the first few times), I dunno, coz it was a shitty experience and like never again.
I’m going to stick to alcohol
Dutch-Sculptor t1_ix0yzta wrote
Just sell it. Good for the economy.
Lucid_Insanity t1_ix14dqj wrote
Get a 2nd incinerator?
magicwuff t1_ix1lpzn wrote
They tried burying it, burning it, now they're just giving it away!
More_Cowbell8 t1_ix1lqoz wrote
So freaking distribute it already. I'll help, I'll help, stop complaining.
throwaway481677 t1_ix2c59s wrote
Send me some after you receive your batch!
More_Cowbell8 t1_ix2cpyc wrote
I got downvoted. I'll bet everyone's against putting it in cola again too.
throwaway481677 t1_ix2dx6t wrote
I know right, how lame...I bet they're the type to not prescribe coke for headaches if they were doctors
Oceansize757 t1_ix1mzcv wrote
Have them send it to me, I’ll get rid of it for them
wittor t1_ix1o3te wrote
Bad time to buy Nespresso stock.
chrisplusplus t1_ix1ws39 wrote
How many ovens does it take...
[deleted] t1_ix1xl3g wrote
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Maxwe4 t1_ix1xqes wrote
The Germans were able to figure it out .
slartzy t1_ix207sq wrote
War/sanctions cause a change in routes?
Nimelennar t1_ix20cx0 wrote
It reminds me of a stand-up comedian, I can't remember the name. "I asked the cop, 'Do you burn the weed you confiscate?' 'Yep,' he said. 'A little at a time.'"
JJDiet76 t1_ix2693m wrote
If there was only perhaps another way to dispose of this cocaine…
farquadsleftsandal t1_ix27liv wrote
Everyone’s septum.. so deviated. Can’t imagine why
[deleted] t1_ix2aa3w wrote
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GenericElucidation t1_ix2b2yn wrote
I'm sure the CIA would take it. The government has a giant Price Is Right wheel full of groups they want to scapegoat and countries they want to destabilize.
EggKey5513 t1_ix2bv18 wrote
I ❤️ Belgian white chocolate
groovyalibizmo t1_ix2c7yd wrote
Where's Rick James??
DLBaker t1_ix2cav4 wrote
Start giving it to those diagnosed with ADD. It's basically what they get from the pharmacy anyways.
wakka55 t1_ix2cosq wrote
Why waste it? Can't it be processed into medical uses?
morgulbrut t1_ix2ondo wrote
The production needs do be clean and controlled for that. You don't want to have all this shit they used in production somewhere in the Colombian jungle in your medicine.
But there are in fact medicine which contains cocaine. Source: know somebody who once at a concert dropped "guess what I did today? Ordered a some dozend kilogramms of cocaine for medical use".
Ready_Homework7020 t1_ix2da25 wrote
I can!
alfazulu1 t1_ix2dl6m wrote
This is gonna make an awesome Netflix series. Just imagine if it happened in real life. The Great Heist
Sco0bySnax t1_ix2eesr wrote
Just send it over to the UK and leave it outside the financial firms in London and it will all be gone the next day.
Uptrenda t1_ix2gomy wrote
Must have taken the criminals a lot of work to have made that much coke though. I think it comes from the coca plant which has to be harvested and then processed with solvents. The % of cocaine in the leaves is kind of similar to the range of caffeine in coffee by dry weight. So idk... to get tons of pure coke... that's a lot of leaves lads......... a lot of leaves.
White_Locust t1_ix2hc4f wrote
Burning good drugs just makes me sad.
HephaestusClangBang t1_ix2hgfr wrote
I volunteer as tribute
Crooked_Cock t1_ix2ipda wrote
Well time to get snortin’ I reckon
xiphoidthorax t1_ix2kg5j wrote
I have many incinerators. Please send here.
Bihan_Sl t1_ix2p9gi wrote
Money Chant intensifies
Technical-Cream-7766 t1_ix2ppc4 wrote
If they need a hand…
Junior_Can_7679 t1_ix34w5h wrote
You know there's got to be measures in place to keep the incineration safe but...in reality...how safe you really think it is? Maybe this is why everyone's fucking insane.
Azrael-XIII t1_ix3f0pk wrote
I’m just imagining a more extreme version of that I Love Lucy conveyor belt bit…
BastardofMelbourne t1_ix3fsjm wrote
Belgian cops: we gotta job to do here boys
clears nose
Honkeygrandmabetripn t1_ix3wqfp wrote
I can help dispose of that cookaine. I'm helping and doing my part!
This_one_taken_yet_ t1_ix0ykc2 wrote
There is another way...
Right-Fisherman-1234 t1_ix18f2q wrote
Just goes to show ya, it ain't the guy on the street corner slinging $10 rocks that's the problem, it's the rich and powerful that fund the tonnage that's really destroying society.
Scale-Alarmed t1_ix1hoei wrote
Send it to me, I'll take care of it
invent_or_die t1_ix2nbjp wrote
I hate that this comment string is all tacit endorsement of cocaine. Oh I'm no Saint. But it's fucked up shit. I like my nose.
0n0n-o t1_ix32w99 wrote
When comes the point when people realise it would be better to just sell it legally?
aZamaryk t1_ix075lh wrote
Just give it away. I promise you can move a lot of blow if you just give it away.
Th0ughtsAndPr4yers t1_ix16xfs wrote
Just sell it lol
cbbuntz t1_iwztx1i wrote
Whoever is running the incinerator isn't going to sleep for a month