I’m moving to New Haven having never previously lived here, how can I make friends?

Submitted by faqabetic t3_101hfrq in newhaven

I’d love to hear how any of you made friends in a totally new city.

I (23M) am going to be moving to New Haven soon having no previous experience with the city. I already have trouble making friends in the first place, I’m very introverted and not very good at making/keeping social friends, I’m more of a ride or die friend, 1on1 opposed to larger friend groups too. My job doesn’t seem to have that many younger people I could really connect with. I also have a boyfriend I’m going to stay monogamous with long distance, so that kind of ruins my chances of making friends through hookups. I’m a big music snob, love watching movies/tv, and doing outdoorsy stuff too. It doesn’t seem like NH gets that many concerts, I’d have to go to NYC for that, right?, and wouldn’t be able to make friends that way. I’m not great at parties, I like bars and clubs more, is the gay scene here big enough and inclusive? The Yale community seems pretty inescapable but would I at least be able to avoid the undergrads? Should I just try to find a gym buddy? Does using Tinder/Grindr for friends actually work? I’d really like to live alone but would it be worth it to get a roommate so I’m not completely isolated? Are there any neighborhoods, places to go, or things to do that you’ve been successful making friends at? Any good seasonal activities? Any advice or tips at all would be greatly appreciated :)

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curbthemeplays t1_j2ngtz0 wrote

Gather Coffee Shop, Make Haven, District, Elm City Games

New Haven gets a ton of concerts for a city its size. Look at Manicpresents.com. Also Shubert, Toad’s Place, Cafe Nine, State House, and other small venues.

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Plantpoweredbeeyotch t1_j2nhfg2 wrote

ohhh boy, another one of those posts lol. Like another commenter said, the meetup app has a lot of new haven stuff you can do and meet people.

Edit: Learn to fuckin read sarcasm and satire, downvoters.

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GhostInTheSpaghetti t1_j2ni94w wrote

Moved to new haven when I was the same age as you. Yale is for sure escapable if you are not living/working downtown; but, if bars and clubs are your thing undergrads are going to be there. East rock and westville are neighborhoods with “community” (can’t speak to others those are the ones I’ve lived in.) But, generally speaking, you will have to make the effort to put yourself out there as people in the northeast tend to not go out of there way to strike up conversation etc. I think it comes down to your hobbies and finding groups into those things. New Haven has a little bit of a lot, great food scene, very strong art scene for a city of its size, music does come here but nyc may be a better option depending on what kind of music you’re into. Outdoor stuff, hiking, biking, kayaking etc. is popular in the summer and pretty abundant within a short drive. There are tons of colleges here other than Yale so there is a large group of people in your age range here. I’m not in the know completely, but the lgbt community seems fairly large and open here, you’ll see lots of rainbow flags around town and from what I’ve experienced new haven is very liberal and accepting.

My best advice for meeting people is get plugged into what’s going on in your neighborhood, go to events, and put yourself out there a little. There’s no easy way to connect with people y’know? Just gotta keep trying. Follow this sub too as stuff like this is posted a lot with other people in your situation. Work friends wil be a thing too, so lean into that if you can.

For a music lovers I’d look into “the space” venue, college st. Music hall, and redscroll records in wallingford.

Sorry, I know this is all vague, but I wish you good luck!

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stangette t1_j2nipwk wrote

Bumble friends, the dog park, and Gather coffee shop on State St are all great options. Welcome to NHV!

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UnsureAndWondering t1_j2nm2cc wrote

Yale is escapable but it's hard. I'm a 22F lesbian and yeah, the gay scene is definitely sizeable enough to find friends in! In terms of outdoorsy stuff, there's a lot of super nice trails within driving distance of New Haven. A lot a lot in the Wallingford/Meriden area.

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snickylo t1_j2nqcqd wrote

Blue Orchid is a great place to meet people and they're LGBTQ+ friendly! Also, super cheap drinks. For clubs, I've really enjoyed going to Partners, it's a gay bar.

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Affectionate-Newt889 t1_j2nx3rw wrote

Trivia nights at bars, one example is fussy coffee or another is archie moors

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YankeeinNCandIhateit t1_j2ny43g wrote

Blue orchid (Court and Orange St) - great food, great drinks, owned by a gay couple, and I've met half of my New Haven friends there...

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buttsboob420 t1_j2o285h wrote

there’s a fun cafe called gather that hosts aloooooot of fun events like trivia, game nights, shows, etc! also check out @ connectic_nt on insta it’s a ct based zine that does a lot of events in nhv and in other parts of ct :)

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BobbyBuzz008 t1_j2o7egr wrote

There are a lot of ways to make friends. Here are my recommendations:

  1. Ask your co workers at work if they want to socialize after work. If your in college, join several clubs.

  2. Join a group through meetup.com or the app and attend a event.

  3. Join an adult recreation league.

  4. Volunteer for a non profit like a community organization or reach out to the Mayors office and ask if there are any vacancy’s on any city board or commission. There are 45 different boards and commissions in New Haven and there is always a need for more residents to serve the City.

  5. While Tinder, Bumble, and other apps are useful, use them as a supplement and not as a substitute for meeting people. Your best opportunity to meet new people is in person.

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk or if your lonely. I’m willing to be your friend too if you want.

Being somewhere new and alone can be challenging. Here’s an helpful video that can help as well: https://youtu.be/n3Xv_g3g-mA

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Angstmuffin t1_j2onwmp wrote

If you like bikes at all, or potentially would like working on bikes, come to the Bradley Street Bicycle coop! Great way to make friends and learn new skills :))

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octoberflavor t1_j2ougmg wrote

I think posting here when you want a hiking or event buddy would work like a charm! If any part of you is interested in skating, it’s very easy to make friends at the skate parks in town.

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Sasha64- t1_j2p1sm3 wrote

Casino’s in Connecticut Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods have concerts. I’ve been to Southern CT University has a concert hall and gets some good venues also Bridgeport has concerts called Hartford Health amphitheater. I hope that helps.

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Beneficial-Award6366 t1_j2p290b wrote

New haven has some good local spots like Stella blues and college street for music venues, also cafe 9 for a more niche crowd tbh. New haven is crowded with coffee shops that are filled with people doing their own thing but friendly enough to have good interactions. My favorites are Koffee, Fussy, Deja Brew**, be sure to avoid o we priced shops like blue state and any large chains and the crowds are pretty friendly. New haven (Yale) has some free art exhibits that are fun, also be on the lookout for art shows.

Also getting a local job will help you exposed to the locals and the New haven life style.

My favorite pizza place is modern btw, def worth checking out.

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AtenderhistoryinrusT t1_j2p4792 wrote

Well at east rock park - blake field 100+ 25-35 yr olds get together and play kickball. All skill levels welcome which I will emphasize , its not about being good its just about teams and fun and socializing. There is drinking but no one cares if you dont partake and many people I know made alot of friends and networks through the league. You play a number of games and then there is a big final tournament. Its all good fun and everyone low key knows its about making friends. Look up new haven waka https://www.clubwaka.com/leagues/new-haven

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spahck t1_j2phd66 wrote

New Haven College St Music Hall & Hamden Space Ballroom have plenty of good shows! (Although going into nyc is fun too) I recommend checking on social media, maybe a fan group for the bands you like, or bumble bff, if anyone wants to go with you to concerts. That's how I've made friends after moving to CT

Also more generally for making friends as an adult, I recommend joining clubs or groups for whatever you enjoy! Community theatre, board game groups, volunteer work, whatever. Even if the people you meet don't become your best friends, it is a great way to engage with the community & see friendly faces regularly :)

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Hexoplanet t1_j2pm1fy wrote

College Street Music Hall has AWESOME shows. Idk what kind of music you’re into, but I’ve seen Bright Eyes, Perfume Genius, Sean Paul (randomly), Modest Mouse, Beach House and a ton others there. It’s easy to talk to people outside during intermission since everyone just kinda hangs out and smokes and talks before going back in. Cafe 9 has a ton of cool shows, too.

Also, Partners is a gay bar/club on Crown St. that I like a lot. I’ve met a bunch of cool people there.

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suburban_mom_jeans t1_j2pphlp wrote

For concerts, there's the XL Center, in Hartford, Hartford Health are Amphitheater in Bridgeport and Toyota Oakdale Theater in Wallingford.

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suburban_mom_jeans t1_j2ppnxa wrote

As far as making friends, I can't help you. Been here 10 years and have no friends lol 🤣😂😢😭

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archimedes_principle t1_j2q6uil wrote

What kind of music? College street and state house both have great shows. If you happen to like noise music, lmk. I know a bunch of people who have small intimate noise shows, and that scene attracts a lot of introverted but fun and extremely welcoming people. Also very queer positive. Never ending books always have art and noise shows!

Seconding Cafe 9 as well, great punk/DIY scene there.

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Superdeduper82 t1_j2q9cvp wrote

Gay scene is good I think. Partners is fun for a club 168 york st for a bar. I’ve made a lot of friends on grindr!! Maybe I’ll see you on there lel

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TheCaptainEgo t1_j2rcibf wrote

Howdy! I’m the same age, I just moved here in June. You should check out Elm City Games, lots of events to go to where you can meet people. That’s how I’ve made friends at least!

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dslicex t1_j2vne6c wrote

Replying to Beneficial-Award6366 (#1,266,920)

bump for cafe 9. I go there from time to time to catch a random show, and the music is always decent, if nothign more a good vibe.

also worth mentioning state house, because they got lots of cool tours, plus space ballroom in hamden, wamleg in wallingford for more underground stuff.

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