Thanks for this. That clears up a lot. I still say that you could have told your grandparents you wouldn’t be home that night. A call or a text would be great for two 80-year-old people. Would it have prevented the embarrassment? I think it would have.

Then OP needs to make that clear. OP has written that grandparents are her legal guardians. She has also written that mom has legal custody. It also sounds like mom is still in rehab, so at this point, I think OP is on her own. But legal guardian or not, I’m not mad at grandparents looking for looking for their grandchild who does not come home after work on a dark and rainy night.

In the first set of edits, OP says her grandparents are her legal guardians. Later she says her mother has legal custody. I’m not sure what to believe. For God’s sake, read the original post before commenting incorrect information.

How does that work? Your grandparents are your legal guardians but your mother has custody? I’m confused.

But even if your mom has legal custody, you are living with your grandparents. They should be told that you are going to be out overnight. Even if they disagree with the decision, tell them so they aren’t calling around town looking for you.

That is certainly a possibility but that’s not indicated. All we know is that she didn’t come home after work on a dark and rainy night. The grandparents, even if the shittiest grandparents ever, called around looking for her. When they didn’t find her, they called the police. I am still not understanding the problem here. OP even admits that they don’t do this to her often. They do monitor their drug-addicted daughter a lot more. Because she is an addict who is living with them. Should they just not care what their daughter and grand daughter are doing or where they are?

Her grandparents have custody of her. Not her mom. Her mom is a recovering addict. Courts don’t strip away custody on a whim.

Thanks for a little more context. Not sure what your grandparents have done and without specifics, I’m going to say you are still a minor. They are taking care of you and your substance abusing mother. She hasn’t touched anything for 6-8 months? That’s good and I hope she continues her sobriety. But your grandparents have dealt with her drug abuse for a long time and that isn’t easy. I hope all of you treat each other a little better.

Did you have this conversation about your boyfriend with your grandparents? The folks who are legally responsible for you? Courts don’t take away custody on a whim. Your mom wasn’t doing well there for a while. Probably a long while. Not saying your grandparents are saints but nothing you’ve written indicates them looking for you when you don’t come home overnight is abusive.

Edit: a whole new paragraph

27 is not 17. Two 80-year-old people are dealing with a drug addict daughter and are responsible for a 17-year-old who thinks it ok to disappear overnight and get pissy when two 80-year-old grandparents are worried about her. Jesus. Y’all have zero compassion for what these grandparents are dealing with.

You didn’t go spent the night at your friend’s house without letting your parents know.