He stealthed you?! Am I getting this right? He had sex with you and didn't use a condom, but you thought he had?

That's sexual assault. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I thought you were going to end up pregnant to one and not know who.

Or accidentally part of a gang.

Na, this is just sex. You do you and whoever else.

So the first guy didn't want a relationship, but was making constant passive aggressive comments about your sex life?

Honey, he's playing you like an asshole to MAKE you feel this way.

The second guy assaulted you.

You’ll be ok just take time for yourself I can relate to this to some extent and time fixes things but stop going to the ex I did that for too long it damaged me

In my experience it’s best to stick to second base if you have multiple partners, until you figure out which one you like

None of this is normal casual dating/hook up behavior. From any of these guys. I’m sorry you’re going through this level of shit.

Casual dating/sex absolutely isn’t for everyone, but I’m not sure you can decide if it is or not for you based on this… because this… this is just men being crappy. And you’ll get that no matter how seriously you go.

If this hasn’t turned you off completely to the idea, try casual dating first. Go on a date with multiple guys in a week or so time span (and be upfront with them that you’re doing this and sex is off the table) and see how things go.

I’m not really sure why you’re getting downvoted you are a victim. BPD definitely makes it hard to remember what’s normal and what behavior you should accept or not accept. However, doing what you’re doing isn’t gonna take away your instinct to get attached; that’s inevitable with BPD. if you have the money do DBT therapy which is the only way I’ve ever seen people with BPD genuinely make massive improvements to their behavior. Not that you were necessarily doing anything wrong to begin with