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var23 t1_iufqvar wrote

Chestnut Expressway is, in fact, not an expressway.

Trafficway is the path you seek.

178

Rasta-Trout t1_iufreli wrote

Chestnut has all the traffic, how have I not realized this irony before

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Globalksp t1_iugdlm8 wrote

It's the whole "we Park on a Driveway and drive on a Parkway" kinda thing.

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robzilla71173 t1_iuhzqg7 wrote

Truth. It cuts my commute time in half to take Trafficway vs. Chestnut.

In a lesser extent, once you go south past Sunshine, Jefferson is better than S. Campbell for similar reasons.

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realfoodman t1_iui48v3 wrote

It's an expressway on either side of National and Grant, but not between them.

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nobile t1_iufsrvu wrote

NPC drivers will swerve at random at the slightest hint of inclement weather, drive with caution.

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ErisEpicene t1_iufy0qs wrote

Watch out, froggers! Springfield drivers stop for 40-70% of pedestrians!

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randomradomski t1_iufy78t wrote

While driving, remain ever vigilant. Npc's have a driving AI randomizer that makes their actions unpredictable and dangerous.

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arcticmischief t1_iuh1zrz wrote

Eh, Missouri drivers are nowhere near as bad and unpredictable as Florida or Washington/Oregon drivers.

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robzilla71173 t1_iui080b wrote

I have a coworker who's a recent transplant from Philadelphia. Our traffic relaxes him.

Personally I find it odd anyone here complains about Missouri drivers when they can observe Oklahomans putting on a clinic of attempted vehicular manslaughter daily on our highways.

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ITofMordor t1_iuhu0yx wrote

As someone that lived in Washington for 15 years i can absolutely say that the only people there that don’t know how to drive are the Californian migrants that forced us poor 3rd world country migrants out with their house flipping.

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arcticmischief t1_iuhzz86 wrote

Ehh, PNWers in their Subarus are the ones that camp out in the passing lane 5-10 mph under the already-too-low speed limit and then randomly slam on their brakes for even the most gentle of curves or the slightest hint of rain. At least the Californians drive a sensible speed.

I’ve found Missouri drivers to at least make a moderate attempt to respect the idea of keeping right except to pass. The tourists coming to Branson, though, make even PNWers look like Mario Andretti…

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MorphinDorphin t1_iufr330 wrote

Don’t leave anything at all, you’re just asking for it to get broken into

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BaroquenLarynx t1_iufuen5 wrote

See a Nazi, slap a Nazi.

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Sgthouse t1_iuh9l8r wrote

Wow, how edgy and brave.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iuhpooy wrote

Oh no, did you feel personally attacked by someone calling out nazis?..

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Sgthouse t1_iuhtxxn wrote

Do you mean a literal nazi or the modern accepted definition of “someone I disagree with politically”?

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iuhxq6x wrote

I mean the pieces of shit putting up storefront *Stormfront posters in our city. Literally neo-nazis...

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Sgthouse t1_iuhxvfj wrote

Posters of what?

0

Wrinklestiltskin t1_iuhyz42 wrote

*Stormfront

Stupid autocorrect.... It's a neo-nazi forum.

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Sgthouse t1_iui1xqd wrote

I’ve only one time seen one of those signs around town. It was for patriot front and we just cut it down.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iui9zua wrote

Patriot front is the same thing as stormfront. It was just originally called stormfront. And that's good you tore that trash down!

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jakedmj t1_iufvbnm wrote

If you're having a cigarette, expect to share

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Environmental_Card_3 t1_iugrmsp wrote

They share them like joints?

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jakedmj t1_iuh35j4 wrote

No people ask you for one if they see you're smoking

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iuhp9db wrote

You could always refuse instead of sharing. You don't need a justification or a reason; you have an inherent right to refusal.

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jakedmj t1_iuhsbfe wrote

Some people ain't so good at the whole saying no to others whose plight they empathize with.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iuhymzb wrote

I'm a caseworker for adults with severe, debilitating mental illness and also work with an overlap of DD individuals. They need boundaries and to have people say no to them sometimes. I teach them about the right to refusal as well, because they stress each other out bumming cigs off each other constantly. Very common complaint I receive from my clients who smoke. There's typically rules against it at group homes/care facilities because it's a constant source of conflict and drama.

None of us are born assertive; it is a skill we have to learn and acquire thru practice. Saying "no" doesn't mean you're inconsiderate/unempathetic; it isn't rude; it's not anger; it's self-advocacy.

Share your cigarettes if you'd like. But you should not feel compelled to do so.

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jakedmj t1_iui0zl4 wrote

Also to be said, thank you immensely for what you do. I know casework is equally difficult and rewarding in large proportions. Without your determination lots of people would be left behind in ruin, my partner being one of them. Know there are others struggling with you in the battle against poverty and you aren't alone.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iui98ju wrote

I appreciate that. In all honesty, the hardest part of my job is the bureaucracy and obligations of my organization. Despite moments of burnout, it's never come from my clients; just my employer. I think most of us in mental health are in it because we're damaged goods as well. Helping others helps myself and my own struggle with major depression. I can't imagine a more rewarding experience than helping people transition from residential care facilities to more independent community housing. Playing a part in positive changes in someone's life like that helps keep me going. It's just as selfish as it is selfless haha.

1

jakedmj t1_iui0ev2 wrote

Former smoker, personally. Partner and myself are formerly homeless. You do have a point and boundaries are very important. But I can remember that mentality very clearly, the conflict avoidance, the need for commiseration and socialization, the general inability to see the exploitative systems as greater than the individual in front of you. Just understanding Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the effects poverty has on general cognition and awareness was impossible. It took slipping in and out of it a few times to really understand how it affects your perception and ability to navigate your social environment effectively.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iui7osr wrote

I'm glad you both are in a more stable place now. I can't imagine the hardship of being homeless. I have worked with many formerly homeless individuals from our area and even still I can't begin to imagine how difficult that life is...

And I never wanted to come off like sharing your cigs is wrong or anything. It's just good to be able to say no from time to time and not feel pressured or guilty for our decision. Bumming a cig from someone can make you feel like someone else cares enough to share, and that is a good thing. But it can just as easily prevent you from hanging onto your own possessions out of perceived obligations.

Like everything in life, it's about moderation and it is not black and white. As in, it's not inherently good or bad to share your smokes. It's all about balance.

I'm sure you have enough life experience from your challenges to know that we all really live in the grey, and that people are too complicated to be put into labels as restrictive as 'good' or 'bad' or 'black' and 'white' sort of thinking. We all just have to try to find the right balance in our lives.

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Jo11yR0g3r t1_iufqld3 wrote

Individual Boogins are a minor threat, but can become incredibly destructive when gathered in throngs

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JoeRohdesEar t1_iuhuhjj wrote

I demand we vote on a species-specific word to describe a group of boogans. Something Midwest-centric...

An ope of boogans?

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Xefjord OP t1_iufq1r4 wrote

Never badmouth the authenticity of Mexican Villa lest you incur the unsuspecting wrath of a local.

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Wyldfire2112 t1_iug1wxi wrote

Authenticity? What authenticity?

Badmouthing the quality on the other hand... that's fightin' words.

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flojo2012 t1_iuioqot wrote

It’s authentic to a very hidden and obese population in a portion of a Mexican Jungle. Mr. Villa himself is said to have ancestors from the region, which is how he came upon the recipes he now crafts for our delight.

So ya, it’s authentic.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iuhq3di wrote

There should be a warning that to the non-natives, Mexican villa will cause a diarrhea debuff.

2

mrd247 t1_iufut86 wrote

You will never get the salary you deserve but you shall recieve the salary your employer says you deserve.

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WaywardDeadite t1_iug4qaj wrote

Cashew chicken gives you a strength boost

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417sadboi t1_iufy6j6 wrote

Create a distraction by mentioning the Plaza Towers sign to a local. The ensuing mob may clear the path towards your target.

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Flat-Sun-5134 t1_iufy7l3 wrote

Springfield is engaged in a bloody civil conflict between the rebel North Siders and soldiers of the South Side.

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Lord_Lupo7 t1_iug6nj9 wrote

Most bars are safer than gas stations, so replenish when you can.

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cypherchaos t1_iuftxpa wrote

Don’t make eye contact with the intersection zombies.

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ICareAboutNihilism t1_iugnnol wrote

You renewed your plates? Lol, sucker.

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KingHalfrican86 t1_iuiehso wrote

Do they not pull you over for that?

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Jack_Krauser t1_iuj91xf wrote

SPD won't because they don't have the manpower to be spending time with it. Greene County or Highway Patrol might.

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LifeRocks114 t1_iufqqlt wrote

"For a quick stamina refill, visit the nearest restaurant. If you visit the same one (or one in the same chain) enough, you'll get an exp boost for a short time after! (Beware-doing this enough will mark that chain or location as a Favorite Food Place and will increase your Controversial Opinion meter)"

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Vernal97 t1_iug5evx wrote

Remember: any stoplight south of Chestnut Expressway is on 3 minute traffic-cycles.

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iced-macchiato t1_iuj293h wrote

The left turn lane from Sunshine to National is like 10 seconds. Legit only 2 cars go through before it is red. It’s so frustrating. Then that whole light cycle takes about 5 minutes and when the green light comes along again is still only 10 seconds long.

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BegunFuture t1_iujntea wrote

I legit counted it one time. It was only 5 seconds

3

A_Podcast_From_SGF t1_iug4yy5 wrote

If you leave scrap metal out by the curb every couple weeks, there is less of a chance that meth heads will jump your fence and steal your shit.

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Citizenchimp t1_iufzwi2 wrote

Don’t forget to turn off your turn signal when your turn on to Trafficway!

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SquirtledYou t1_iug0jhz wrote

I’ve been a violator of this rule once before. I felt like such a chump.

4

GinWithJennifer t1_iug7f4d wrote

Catalytic converter theft is a crime. You knew that already though.

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Cloud_Disconnected t1_iui18mr wrote

  • Battlefield Mall and Bass Pro are PVP zones Nov. 1 - Dec. 24!

  • Get in the holiday spirit: decorate a homeless encampment for bonus XP!

  • Cyclists give more XP than slower pedestrians, but may damage even larger four-wheeled vehicles: choose your targets wisely!

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SteelThane t1_iugw4zd wrote

If you feel a drop of rain, seek high ground. The city will be flooded within 5 minutes.

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Left_Message_3081 t1_iugz0mp wrote

Earn extra points for being the first car to reach the next red light 🚦

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Embarrassed_Feed_145 t1_iugacoq wrote

pretty much if you’re driving anywhere just be prepared to die or almost die

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CrappyHandle t1_iuggrtv wrote

Do not engage in conversation with the hypocritical, faux Christians on the topic of religion...or any topic of importance, for that matter.

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flojo2012 t1_iuip0x2 wrote

Or any topic of non-importance

1

CrappyHandle t1_iujucvb wrote

Sound advice, but unfortunately, they are so thick that it's an impossibility.

0

lehejo0 t1_iufvtk1 wrote

You got to know somebody or blow somebody to make it in the armpit of Missouri

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WendyArmbuster t1_iug71mz wrote

Make sure you've developed a marketable skill before you finish your schooling, otherwise you'll be stuck making minimum wage and spending all of your income on an apartment, with little chance of escape.

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Superb_Raccoon t1_iufz318 wrote

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."

8

mslack t1_iugxqf9 wrote

It's dangerous to go to Kearny Walmart.

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notblindjustblinking t1_iujx3b1 wrote

I thought I was being biased and unfair when I first walked in. Immediately saw someone getting arrested. I think Kearny Walmart might be a PVP zone.

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cancerousking t1_iugfeyx wrote

Stay away from John B Hughes apartments

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flojo2012 t1_iuio5h6 wrote

That’s the last level to Springfield: the game

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Rimm9246 t1_iugu72m wrote

Many species of crackheads roam Springfields streets. They are fearsome creatures, but will generally avoid attacking unless provoked.

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catgambler t1_iufs08g wrote

The middle lane is reserved for cars already in the roadway who are trying to exit the roadway. Don't enter the roadway by driving into the middle lane.

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Tox38 t1_iuhbl1v wrote

I have a few.

If you're driving behind someone, they will slow down until you try to pass them.

A simple hello can either keep people from bothering you, or invite hours of their life story. Flip a coin.

Wearing Headphones on the city bus means nothing to anyone who wants to talk.

Feeding the city crows peanuts at your home will keep the city pigeons away.

Yes, it was [insert weather condition] a moment ago.

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opooy1289 t1_iug2e6d wrote

this city is ghetto, you can go in a cave and go to bass pro

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andheinz t1_iugb7h4 wrote

Lock everything.

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iced-macchiato t1_iugbjya wrote

Turn signals are recommended, but not required. Just jump out into traffic whenever you feel like it with no warnings.

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Peteyistick t1_iugni4y wrote

Gunshots, theft, assault, people driving either 15 under the speed limit or 40 over. all are welcomed here.

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Wildfirethetiger t1_iui4w7l wrote

At any given time of day, whether or not you think National is more congested than Glenstone, you're wrong.

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plated_lead t1_iugn4sr wrote

“Money can be exchanged for goods and services”

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jrbear09 t1_iugu628 wrote

Arenas can be found at every Walmart. Ensure you are prepared for any fight

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MonoChaos t1_iugvcnn wrote

Everyone always gives Wal-Mart shit but I have never once seen anything unusual happen. Everyone just goes in, grabs their stuff, and goes

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Jack_Krauser t1_iuj9p9k wrote

I've been shopping at the Walmarts on Kearney and Kansas my entire life and have never seen anything violent happen. I think the stereotype comes from south-siders that are too scared to interact with the poors.

2

Joefyvyh t1_iugyz41 wrote

Npcs tend to cut you off in traffic and can’t drive worth shit

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ItsSirTone t1_iuh0wiy wrote

The speed limits are more of a recommendation if you observe the populace in transit on a daily basis.

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faatherton t1_iuggv4i wrote

Chestnut left onto Grant would make a great loading screen…

2

Smooth_Hexagon t1_iuilrry wrote

Be careful, Gas Stations on the North side are PvP enabled areas.

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psylosyren t1_iugf9bt wrote

You level up when you’ve made it to Tumbler season. Screen shifts seamlessly aka Anarchy Chess.

1

jenovalife1 t1_iui1hm3 wrote

NPCs are more apt to attack at night on the north side

1

littleladwasabi t1_iuivlt8 wrote

Avoid eye contact with NPCs downtown or they will engage in dialogue or harass you

1

lifepuzzler t1_iuj55vy wrote

Press X repeatedly to barf

1

Saltpork545 t1_iujju9p wrote

Mexican Villa is an acquired taste.

1

Lemonsniffer t1_iujp8fm wrote

Running low on hypodermic needles? Check under trees and bushes in parks and playgrounds to stock up.

1

Daabree t1_iuk3e9d wrote

Don’t stay at any of the hotels on N Glenstone unless you want meth and hookers. 0.0

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ResultedTag72 t1_iuhmanl wrote

"The homeless are the plague that ruins it all."

0

A_A-Ron_MB t1_iugu3gs wrote

“People only come here so they can leave”

Also, as far as I know, my ex still lives there so fuck yall.

−3