Submitted by Mr_Blite t3_zpcwpc in nottheonion
Comments
[deleted] t1_j0t9rno wrote
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[deleted] t1_j0tz7f2 wrote
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Flummox127 t1_j0tzgnq wrote
Okay, person using a photo of themselves on Reddit
BmBunny69 t1_j0u0dik wrote
Dude is definitely giving older Facebook user vibes
[deleted] t1_j0u3j5p wrote
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Wrinklestiltskin t1_j0u4rnz wrote
No it's not. I had a MySpace back in the day, but I've never had a FB and never will. Plus less and less people are using it as the years go on.
[deleted] t1_j0u51c2 wrote
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Wrinklestiltskin t1_j0u75y2 wrote
> Because obviously I have used Facebook, if you live in America that's a given.
My point was your statement is false. That is all.
[deleted] t1_j0u7adb wrote
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Wrinklestiltskin t1_j0u7vw4 wrote
I can't tell if you're trolling or just extremely cringeworthy. If you make a false statement, expect to be called out for it.
You can respond in turn by accepting you made a mistake or acting childish.
[deleted] t1_j0u82yn wrote
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Wrinklestiltskin t1_j0u8iax wrote
Not judging from your current behavior 🤡
[deleted] t1_j0u8o0b wrote
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z0nb1 t1_j0uabsg wrote
Or, you know, just admit you made a mistake and said something untrue.
Maybe follow it up with an apology for being hyperbolic and dismissive?
I dunno, the whole you packing up and leaving works too.
[deleted] t1_j0uaphg wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0uddq1 wrote
Virgins get a lot of sleep
[deleted] t1_j0udj7t wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0udkx0 wrote
Guessing you got 12?
[deleted] t1_j0udoke wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0ue4hx wrote
Nobody gives a fuck, you nerd.
Don’t talk about dreams of “banning” people because you sound like an incel.
Just downvote and move on with your life.
And talk to something other than a screen, for once.
[deleted] t1_j0ue8g7 wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0uedy9 wrote
Me neither! And I don’t think it’s a good moniker to begin with because “involuntarily” would imply that peeps can’t get better and improve.
[deleted] t1_j0uel28 wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0uf3m8 wrote
So, what’s this sleep research about?
[deleted] t1_j0ufntl wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0ufv3g wrote
How did that change labor?
I guess it wasn’t an immediate change, since most labor was outside.
[deleted] t1_j0ug836 wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0ugb4d wrote
How so?
[deleted] t1_j0ugm6e wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0ugp6o wrote
Yea, but, how did that impact the human psychology?
[deleted] t1_j0ugrqm wrote
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TheStormOfLife t1_j0uiyn8 wrote
That's just your lack of sleep beginning to affect your short term memory... Don't stop now, I just got the popcorn out...
[deleted] t1_j0uj4zo wrote
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MandingoPants t1_j0v78uu wrote
I understand how you got lost in my comments now!
When I asked “how did that change labor” it reads as if you posited that, and, that I am questioning it.
It should read “I wonder how the advent of electric lights affected labor”.
My b!
[deleted] t1_j0v7dih wrote
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[deleted] t1_j0uh0ih wrote
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[deleted] t1_j0tzkw3 wrote
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Flummox127 t1_j0tznxu wrote
Okay, person intending to use a snoovatar, whatever the fuck that is
[deleted] t1_j0tzvok wrote
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clydefrog811 t1_j0u8eel wrote
Only losers use their real life picture on Reddit.
YukonCornelius69 t1_j0ueyn9 wrote
Hey now
BookieeWookiee t1_j0ug4fu wrote
You're a star though so it's okay
[deleted] t1_j0u8izc wrote
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LibraryInternet t1_j0udvmk wrote
Mr Baker calm down.
[deleted] t1_j0udy84 wrote
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RickyNixon t1_j0ucba4 wrote
Oh no people are enjoying something you dont enjoy
[deleted] t1_j0ucg0o wrote
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VengefulPotato101 t1_j0tzifv wrote
Lawful evil
bigdaddygibson t1_j0ux884 wrote
Best comment.
[deleted] t1_j0tzm95 wrote
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tacodog7 t1_j0u10cm wrote
Annoying evil
[deleted] t1_j0u1abh wrote
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PauseAndEject t1_j0u5bz3 wrote
/r/ninealignments
[deleted] t1_j0u5lc8 wrote
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GlasgowKisses t1_j0u5url wrote
Doctor* Who
MandingoPants t1_j0udhpu wrote
Dr. Quinn!
[deleted] t1_j0u5ye9 wrote
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GlasgowKisses t1_j0u62z9 wrote
It’s worth a look
[deleted] t1_j0u6d70 wrote
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Abrahamlinkenssphere t1_j0u6g8b wrote
Go fuck your self.
[deleted] t1_j0u6na3 wrote
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Wimbleston t1_j0ue8cf wrote
You sound fun, wanting to ban other people from a website because they used a joke you think is old hat.
If anyone needs to go it's people like you trying to control who gets to speak.
[deleted] t1_j0ueee7 wrote
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Wimbleston t1_j0ufi6i wrote
Just pointing out that you're being a complete twat and acting superior in spite of it. Wondering if you're a trump supporter by your style of ignoring your own wrongness because you think it's making other people mad, as that is the kind of behavior we'd expect if you were.
You need to ask yourself, "seriously... Why do I care at all?".
[deleted] t1_j0uftq4 wrote
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Wimbleston t1_j0ug8og wrote
Nobody wants your feedback when all you have to say is "people who make that (completely inoffensive joke) should be banned!"
Seriously, grow up, what are you, 40? Stop acting like a 12 year old defending his favorite anime in a YouTube comments section, you should be better than this.
[deleted] t1_j0uge38 wrote
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Wimbleston t1_j0v3i6z wrote
Yes, but when it comes from someone with the maturity of a child, it gets quickly ignored
[deleted] t1_j0v3rgy wrote
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desmethylsildenafil t1_j0uanhg wrote
Calm down fart.
[deleted] t1_j0uargb wrote
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LibraryInternet t1_j0udukj wrote
Fr Isaac chill.
[deleted] t1_j0udzqo wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0ujiud wrote
You're sorry. You're sorry? You killed my brother, and you say you're sorry? Let me tell you something. The job offer, it didn't upset me. It amused me. Big job at the illustrious HHM. A chance to play at the palace. Little old me? You have no idea what's going on! You're a teensy, tiny man in a teensy-weensy little bubble. Oh, don't you fucking ''Oh, Jimmy'' me! You look down on me? You pity me? Walk away. That's right Howard. You know why I didn't take the job? Because it's too small! I don't care about it! It's nothing to me! It's a bacterium! I travel in worlds you can't even imagine! You can't conceive of what I'm capable of! I'm so far beyond you! I'm like a god in human clothing! Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!
[deleted] t1_j0ujlev wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0uzfx2 wrote
"Nah"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Nah"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only thing you can comprehend is "Nah" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Nah" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about one fucking emoji? I bet you took the time to type that word too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Nah" on your gravestone?
[deleted] t1_j0v0ngp wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0vko7o wrote
The most poignant shot of the episode shows Walt with his head wrapped, sitting and staring off into the distance. He has blood on his hands, both figuratively and literally. His appearance resembles the biblical figure of Moses, and from a certain point of view, the RV is the pharaoh of Egypt.
In the same way that there are the 10 plagues of Egypt, there are the 10 malfunctions of the RV. 1) The engine doesn't start, 2) The generator is out of gas, 3) The gas to siphon the water explodes the generator, 4) The drinking water is lost to douse the fire, 5) Skinny Pete gets lost on his way to pick them up, 6) The phone goes dead, 7) The battery is handcranked, 8) The engine turns on but stalls, 9) Jesse suggests walking out in the desert, and 10) Walt construct a battery. After 10 plagues, finally the RV starts, and Jesse and Walt are able to cross the desert to freedom.
What is the purpose of the biblical allusion to Exodus? Well, if Walt is Moses, the RV is the pharaoh, then who are the millions of enslaved Irsraelites? Well, biblically over a million slaves were freed, and recall that Walt and Jesse's meth is worth over a million dollars. This money is the seed that starts Walt's empire, in the same way that the Israelites would go on to start the dominance of the Judeo-Christian religions. Perhaps with this comparison, Vince et. all are implying that religion is a drug of the masses in the same way that meth is an actual drug. A bold statement of course, which is why it had to be encoded in symbolism to appeal to the masses as well as the intellectual.
[deleted] t1_j0vlcc6 wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0vp9cm wrote
⚠️ LIVE FINGER REACTION ⚠️
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[deleted] t1_j0vpe56 wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0wmz8f wrote
AITA for trying to burn my son alive?
Alright so hear me out, I [M89] have been placed in charge of some land as a temporary leader until the ‘true leader’ returns, however I have come to enjoy my temporary position. Recently my son [M41] left to travel however he unfortunately passed away, and I am now stuck with his younger brother [M36] whom I have no affection for. An old man [M???], head to toe in a white robe, came to me in my home and tried to prepare me for an upcoming war, but I could tell his true intention was really to try and get me to step down so that this ‘true leader’ could return, however I did not want some homeless wanderer to take MY position and run the city I worked so hard for. Fast forward a bit and my son [M36] is ‘badly injured’ after I sent him to defend the city across from where I live, and now, there is a large battle taking place in MY city. I believed that he was dead and as a ceremonial tradition, I was going to burn him. My servant is a short person or a ‘halfling’ as people are saying nowadays. He has been trying to tell me that my son is still alive and that he’s ‘not dead’ but I didn’t believe him, so I dismissed him of his service. Anyways I tried to burn him and myself (as I believed the dark lord was going to win the battle) and the old man walks in, uninvited mind you, and knocks me off the burning pile. The ‘halfling’ ‘saves’ my son [M36] and I was then kicked back onto the pile, and while I was burning alive I noticed my son [M36] opened his eyes and was alive. I stormed out of the room and fell off the the top of the city, still on fire keep in mind. I’m typing this as I’m plummeting to my death but AITA?
[deleted] t1_j0wov3n wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0xgwe4 wrote
But they were all of them deceived, for another snowman was made. In the land of Snowdor, in the ice of Mount frost, the Ice Lord Frosty forged in secret, a master Snowman, to control all others. And into this snowman he poured all his frostiness, his cold and his will to freeze all life. One snowman to rule them all.
[deleted] t1_j0xh6sl wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0xm50c wrote
Tea-bagging and tea-bagging shrimp are two very different things. I prefer the former to the latter. I first met Lauren Powers on the Amtrak from Laguna Beach down to San Diego. I noticed she was muscular and likely did steroids due to her voice having more bass than the Modesto Philharmonic. I commented on her appearance. Our conversation evolved from "get the fuck out here, you creep!" to "How much would it cost to teabag you?" She charged me $350 for the pleasure. She didn't punch me in my coconichi! Not even once!! You may call it crazy, I call it capitalism. This was during the time when that guy Mystery the Pickup Artist and "The Game" was the talk of the town. I denounce such things these days, however. I guess the moral of the story is to be careful about "manifesting" your fetishes with your shaman/therapist.
Edited to add the bit about denouncing and whatnot.
onlycrazypeoplesmile t1_j0ve4g5 wrote
You are Lawful Evil.
[deleted] t1_j0vev7a wrote
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onlycrazypeoplesmile t1_j0vf08j wrote
I'm whatever your perspective says I am.
[deleted] t1_j0vflrg wrote
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1PMagain t1_j0susqa wrote
No good dig goes unpunished
Reinventing_Wheels t1_j0t65wk wrote
Construction company should offer him a job, by the sound of it.
van_stan t1_j0u14iz wrote
"He actually did minimal damage to the car" - video cuts to a shot of the car with a fat hole in the rocker panel 😂
FaliedSalve t1_j0u96us wrote
+1 for creativity
-1 for wisdom
Painting_Agency t1_j0ugpt9 wrote
"Relatively minimal".
SponConSerdTent t1_j0wbnp3 wrote
Obviously meant "did minimal damage to a car given the fact that he lifted it with an excavator"
That guy was one of the construction workers, and if he's saying our hero did minimal damage to the car while lifting it with the excavator he could very well be right.
ztraider t1_j0uj2y5 wrote
I really questioned that guy's standards when I read that. Seemed like he doesn't know that your should be able to change a tire with no damage! 😂
euph_22 t1_j0vwsp1 wrote
Minimal damage to the car, but scrapped up the parking lot (and presumably the bucket), and broke a fence (though that was intentional).
morenewsat11 t1_j0s8jv6 wrote
An oniony title if there ever was one.
JimC29 t1_j0tbsyb wrote
We do get one or two a week here.
Maximillion666ian t1_j0syrs1 wrote
Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed. Let tweaker MacGyver go free.
evestraw t1_j0tnhzo wrote
Why? In the winter prison might be more comfortable then the streets.
TarnishedSteel t1_j0u6c78 wrote
It’s San Diego. California prisons are miserable and he ain’t gonna freeze to death
whats_his t1_j0sgfju wrote
That's some tweaker shit for sure.
justausername_420 t1_j0vvns3 wrote
Nissan Altima activities
RailwayFox t1_j0w9f99 wrote
That looks like a Sentra, but it probably identifies as an Altima
OrganicPrinciple130 t1_j0sn7mt wrote
That’s bullshit to say! So maybe do better!
whats_his t1_j0snpch wrote
I used to do speed and a buddy of mine would spend hours on end digging up shit with his excavator. Ppl would often fuck with heavy machinery while on speed. Maybe it's just a country thing tho.
OrganicPrinciple130 t1_j0svz2g wrote
Still no excuse to default to being that way of people that are homeless, some are homeless for reason out of their control… irks me to see and hear people default to that because someone is unkept, mental health is a bitch.
whats_his t1_j0szgha wrote
I didn't say that because he was experiencing homelessness. I said that because he chose to commandeer an excavator and lift a car with it. I honestly didn't even think about his housing situation.
You shouldn't assume he has a mental illness. Not everyone experiencing homelessness has a mental illness.
Also, you should refer to the situation as "experiencing homelessness" rather than refer to the person as homeless. They're in a bad situation, it's not a part of their identity.
gza-genius t1_j0tm78a wrote
fantastic burn
Crimson_Leader t1_j0u58m4 wrote
Well that ended that 😂
TheWalkingMeg t1_j0uakz8 wrote
Uno reverse card activated
RailwayFox t1_j0w94rw wrote
I agree, with the small caveat that in current year +6 the most PC term would be "experiencing unhousedness" if we're going to split hairs
This guy is living the home is where you make it life, which sometimes is in the cab of an excavator that is experiencing unpermitted borrowedness
Kewkky t1_j0tjwd8 wrote
You should learn to mind your own business and focus on what you know about. You don't know anything about the homeless situation in San Diego except whatever fantasy you got going on in your head. The VAST majority of homeless here are definitely mentally unstable, and a lot of them are on drugs. Crimes committed by homeless has been on the rise, and the ones that do crazy shit like this are, to no surprise, part of the crazy homeless population. The ones that are homeless and sane own cars, have dogs, etc. Before you go blindly defending someone who straight up stole construction equipment worth thousands then didn't understand how he did any wrong, think about what it would take for someone to do that just to pull a car up to help someone change the wheel of a car.
Signed, a San Diego resident.
mattchinn t1_j0u2r99 wrote
…and evidently did damage to the car.
Sidenote:
Read this entire exchange, while working a night shift dealing with tweakers every night.
…also in San Diego. lol
SalsaBueno t1_j0tyn7p wrote
Worth *hundreds of thousands
[deleted] t1_j0tmekv wrote
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OrganicPrinciple130 t1_j0wdd84 wrote
Still no excuse to dehumanize folks, seriously ya'll
808noisecall t1_j0t88vg wrote
You valid bro.
Crizbibble t1_j0syp44 wrote
I see you friend. Keep on being kind and decent. You aren’t wrong.
OrganicPrinciple130 t1_j0wdml3 wrote
Seems being kind isn't welcome... I just see people shit on homeless and tweakers, how about be nice, help them, nobody knows how they got there, but we all have our battles, don't kick em while they are down, our job is to lift folks up, not punch them down.
Crizbibble t1_j0wf4bx wrote
This is a cruel world and the most cruel often times are the folks that are at the bottom because they have nobody to take their anger out on. The bottom is voting you down so don’t despair. Decent folks are around too but just not as many.
pattyG80 t1_j0ty8af wrote
I'm just going to say, I'm not letting someone lift my car with a fucking excavator.
jeffersonairmattress t1_j0uvlij wrote
Especially by reaching over it and picking one side with bucket curl. Jesus that car owner is mellow AF.
anonymousFishGod t1_j0v4evg wrote
I would lol
SponConSerdTent t1_j0wbs6e wrote
Some people are allergic to fun and adventure!
MichaelPgh t1_j0s7twl wrote
He meant well and didn’t mess up anything.
ScrotumSlapper t1_j0u6ypu wrote
He ran over a fence getting the excavator, then punched holes in the car with it.
browtfareyoudoing t1_j0ucj3k wrote
Gotta crack some eggs
LittleKitty235 t1_j0ufoi2 wrote
Don't count your eggs until you try to move them with an excavator.
DirectLavishness602 t1_j0t78s9 wrote
I wonder how many homeless people have extra ordinaryskill
Necromartian t1_j0tq4zy wrote
I mean... they are not animals. They are people. With normal skills. That guy might be a former construction worker who got down on his luck when the economy collapsed last time. Or maybe he lost all his money due illness.
It might be worth asking what is the reason capable people are kept homeless, when providing them with an apartment and social services they need could make them in to construction workers, nurses, teachers.
I suppose it is just to keep the working class scared. So that the companies can say "Look at that dirty hobo. To stay human, you need to spend 80% of your awake time working for us, of you'll end up just like that thing."
Sorry I just had a heated discussion about homelessness with someone in r/UnethicalLifeProTips and that might be spilling a bit over :D
DirectLavishness602 t1_j0tr17p wrote
I feel you, i wasnt calling them any of the words you described.
Necromartian t1_j0tt4xv wrote
Apologies, It was not my intend to imply that you did.
I'm just a bit frustrated that there are people who seem to think that homelessness (At least in scale as it appears in the USA) is somehow an unsolvable problem caused by the homeless just being lazy and bad people.
DirectLavishness602 t1_j0u07c8 wrote
Youre good, im extremely thankful for my situation as Im not in an imminent threat to become homeless. I do help people out by giving them food and money. You can never know when could you be in fhe same situation, so feeling thankful and humble is far much better that feeling guilt.
hope you have a nice day ahead
mtcwby t1_j0v3pon wrote
A large part of it is substance abuse and mental illness. The economic homeless are just who they trot out for the camera. Until we get serious about forcing the issue on treatment there's no solution.
Necromartian t1_j13oiom wrote
I'm reading that as "Forcing people to accept treatment for their mental health problems and drug abuse," but I'm not sure if sure I understood your meaning correctly.
In my country we start the idea with "A person needs a safe environment, a home of their own, to heal from the things that caused their homelessness."
So they are provided with an apartment without requirement for staying sober and they are guided towards mental health services and addiction services.
If you drag someone kicking and screaming to a rehab, they'll be back on street in a blink of an eye.
Zarion222 t1_j0trw65 wrote
I mean he obviously meant well, but he still stole a vehicle so obviously he got arrested. This isn’t really that surprising.
jamcdonald120 t1_j0ttuy9 wrote
all round successfull day I would say
ObnoxiousExcavator t1_j0u23xh wrote
Maybe an E85 bobcat isn't the tool for the job here....
WakkaBomb t1_j0u6bbi wrote
There's a spot in this timeline where this guy is hailed as a hero.
barnivere t1_j0twqin wrote
The guy has a skill despite his homelessness, give him a job.
ScrotumSlapper t1_j0uixg9 wrote
Dude doesn't have enough common sense not to use an excavator to change a tire, idk if I'd trust him to do anything.
LittleKitty235 t1_j0ufwcd wrote
But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you...people with cars without extra holes.
Kamata22 t1_j0veg48 wrote
Watch the interview again, then watch some sovereign citizen court trials on Youtube.
Al_Bundy_14 t1_j0u3kl1 wrote
Almost all pre chip Nissan keys will start an excavator.
TheWellFedBeggar t1_j0uaptt wrote
"Next time you need help, call a crackhead"
Bet.
dowtimer t1_j0uk485 wrote
Was it really stealing if he planned to return the excavator once he finished using the thing?
euph_22 t1_j0vyusn wrote
Actually, no. "Stealing" is to take something without permission intending on permantly depriving the owner of it. Joyriding, for example, is a separate crime than grand theft auto. He's still looking at some serious crimes, but "theft" is not likely one of them.
uncoolcentral t1_j0utk1o wrote
You stay classy, San Diego.
Nudnick1977 t1_j0uzfap wrote
Awesome. Now he'll get regular meal's and a bed to sleep in.
LordPils t1_j0vw892 wrote
He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit.
dzigaboy t1_j0w3tgo wrote
Thanks, CracGyver!
SilentHobbes t1_j0vsx02 wrote
"Unhoused"
morahman7vn t1_j0vter1 wrote
Now that's a cool crime.
never_since t1_j0wes5q wrote
How did I know this was in Diego without even opening the article lmao
zstandig t1_j0xhtx4 wrote
Err, his heart was in the right place
Bl00dRa1n t1_j0ui6df wrote
True onion material.
BizzyM t1_j0unwhy wrote
Ah, yes. The Downtown.
GQManOfTheYear t1_j0t8qqq wrote
Welcome to America.
jamcdonald120 t1_j0ttzyr wrote
Where it is considerd a crime to steal heavy machenery
Jerry_the_Cruncher t1_j0ueo5x wrote
And smash a fence and blast holes in the car!
Enzo_The_Folf t1_j0s6d65 wrote
chaotic good