Submitted by Mr_Blite t3_zpcwpc in nottheonion
sexybimbogf t1_j0ujiud wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in Homeless man arrested for stealing excavator to help man change his tire in Downtown by Mr_Blite
You're sorry. You're sorry? You killed my brother, and you say you're sorry? Let me tell you something. The job offer, it didn't upset me. It amused me. Big job at the illustrious HHM. A chance to play at the palace. Little old me? You have no idea what's going on! You're a teensy, tiny man in a teensy-weensy little bubble. Oh, don't you fucking ''Oh, Jimmy'' me! You look down on me? You pity me? Walk away. That's right Howard. You know why I didn't take the job? Because it's too small! I don't care about it! It's nothing to me! It's a bacterium! I travel in worlds you can't even imagine! You can't conceive of what I'm capable of! I'm so far beyond you! I'm like a god in human clothing! Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!
[deleted] t1_j0ujlev wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0uzfx2 wrote
"Nah"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Nah"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only thing you can comprehend is "Nah" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Nah" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about one fucking emoji? I bet you took the time to type that word too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Nah" on your gravestone?
[deleted] t1_j0v0ngp wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0vko7o wrote
The most poignant shot of the episode shows Walt with his head wrapped, sitting and staring off into the distance. He has blood on his hands, both figuratively and literally. His appearance resembles the biblical figure of Moses, and from a certain point of view, the RV is the pharaoh of Egypt.
In the same way that there are the 10 plagues of Egypt, there are the 10 malfunctions of the RV. 1) The engine doesn't start, 2) The generator is out of gas, 3) The gas to siphon the water explodes the generator, 4) The drinking water is lost to douse the fire, 5) Skinny Pete gets lost on his way to pick them up, 6) The phone goes dead, 7) The battery is handcranked, 8) The engine turns on but stalls, 9) Jesse suggests walking out in the desert, and 10) Walt construct a battery. After 10 plagues, finally the RV starts, and Jesse and Walt are able to cross the desert to freedom.
What is the purpose of the biblical allusion to Exodus? Well, if Walt is Moses, the RV is the pharaoh, then who are the millions of enslaved Irsraelites? Well, biblically over a million slaves were freed, and recall that Walt and Jesse's meth is worth over a million dollars. This money is the seed that starts Walt's empire, in the same way that the Israelites would go on to start the dominance of the Judeo-Christian religions. Perhaps with this comparison, Vince et. all are implying that religion is a drug of the masses in the same way that meth is an actual drug. A bold statement of course, which is why it had to be encoded in symbolism to appeal to the masses as well as the intellectual.
[deleted] t1_j0vlcc6 wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0vp9cm wrote
⚠️ LIVE FINGER REACTION ⚠️
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[deleted] t1_j0vpe56 wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0wmz8f wrote
AITA for trying to burn my son alive?
Alright so hear me out, I [M89] have been placed in charge of some land as a temporary leader until the ‘true leader’ returns, however I have come to enjoy my temporary position. Recently my son [M41] left to travel however he unfortunately passed away, and I am now stuck with his younger brother [M36] whom I have no affection for. An old man [M???], head to toe in a white robe, came to me in my home and tried to prepare me for an upcoming war, but I could tell his true intention was really to try and get me to step down so that this ‘true leader’ could return, however I did not want some homeless wanderer to take MY position and run the city I worked so hard for. Fast forward a bit and my son [M36] is ‘badly injured’ after I sent him to defend the city across from where I live, and now, there is a large battle taking place in MY city. I believed that he was dead and as a ceremonial tradition, I was going to burn him. My servant is a short person or a ‘halfling’ as people are saying nowadays. He has been trying to tell me that my son is still alive and that he’s ‘not dead’ but I didn’t believe him, so I dismissed him of his service. Anyways I tried to burn him and myself (as I believed the dark lord was going to win the battle) and the old man walks in, uninvited mind you, and knocks me off the burning pile. The ‘halfling’ ‘saves’ my son [M36] and I was then kicked back onto the pile, and while I was burning alive I noticed my son [M36] opened his eyes and was alive. I stormed out of the room and fell off the the top of the city, still on fire keep in mind. I’m typing this as I’m plummeting to my death but AITA?
[deleted] t1_j0wov3n wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0xgwe4 wrote
But they were all of them deceived, for another snowman was made. In the land of Snowdor, in the ice of Mount frost, the Ice Lord Frosty forged in secret, a master Snowman, to control all others. And into this snowman he poured all his frostiness, his cold and his will to freeze all life. One snowman to rule them all.
[deleted] t1_j0xh6sl wrote
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sexybimbogf t1_j0xm50c wrote
Tea-bagging and tea-bagging shrimp are two very different things. I prefer the former to the latter. I first met Lauren Powers on the Amtrak from Laguna Beach down to San Diego. I noticed she was muscular and likely did steroids due to her voice having more bass than the Modesto Philharmonic. I commented on her appearance. Our conversation evolved from "get the fuck out here, you creep!" to "How much would it cost to teabag you?" She charged me $350 for the pleasure. She didn't punch me in my coconichi! Not even once!! You may call it crazy, I call it capitalism. This was during the time when that guy Mystery the Pickup Artist and "The Game" was the talk of the town. I denounce such things these days, however. I guess the moral of the story is to be careful about "manifesting" your fetishes with your shaman/therapist.
Edited to add the bit about denouncing and whatnot.
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