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Nadaplanet t1_irbsiv1 wrote

I used to work for TSA and spent a couple years working at the international checkpoint. This is where people who flew in from other countries would go through security before continuing on to their connecting flights. Once we had a lady come up and, while she was taking off her coat to put it through the x-ray, the person running the metal detector noticed her left breast was moving very erratically, and very awkwardly asked what was causing that. And the lady gave a deep sigh, rolled her eyes, and said "It's just a turtle," and she pulled a tiny baby turtle out. We had to call the customs people to come get her, since animal smuggling is pretty illegal.

Her eye roll though when she said "It's just a turtle..." Like that is a normal thing to have in your bra.

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Throsty t1_irdg5f5 wrote

Well I don't know where you're from, matey...

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lucky_ducker t1_irbjrvf wrote

"I'll take jokes that write themselves for $1000, Alex."

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Pat_Driver t1_irbbyk6 wrote

Better watch out this Halloween, people will be handing out free pythons to get kids hooked or killed!

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gheiminfantry t1_irbjs7f wrote

That's not a python. I just make the ladies very happy.

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Ozzman4200 t1_irbd5na wrote

I do this everyday, but law enforcement doesn't get involved.

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BrenRichGill t1_irbf0c3 wrote

Why? Florida is overrun with them. Just drive down there and gather a few up. No Customs involvement.

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phoenix0153 t1_irbl4lp wrote

Is that a python in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

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thejayroh t1_ircdjuz wrote

> A New York City man has been charged with smuggling three Burmese pythons in his pants at a U.S-Canadian border crossing.

That doesn't sound like an easy feat unless these are young snakes.

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theskyguardian t1_irckw4a wrote

After a brief investigation all charges were dropped

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CaptainObviousII t1_irbd1xo wrote

Oh shit! Didn't know this was illegal. Thanks, Reddit!

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BizzyHaze t1_irbfqnb wrote

I wasn't at the border today

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BabblingBishop t1_irbujkv wrote

Really giving life to "a python in his pants" lol

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jjw21330 t1_irbwnqh wrote

Any of you poor saps wanna know the secret to getting a 9 inch dick?

>!(ɟlɐɥ uᴉ ʇᴉ ploℲ)!<

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bdrwr t1_irbxbjq wrote

I've only got one in my pants, if you know what I mean.

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[deleted] t1_irfwjj6 wrote

[removed]

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