Submitted by Loud_Adagio2222 t3_11txs83 in nottheonion
Comments
chernobyl169 t1_jcljul2 wrote
It's an interesting variant of the Chewbacca Defense, I guess.
thormun t1_jcm3lvb wrote
well it make more sense then blaming wokeness at least
jayfeather31 t1_jcm4nrl wrote
True, but that's kind of a low bar...
Malumeze86 t1_jcmtw76 wrote
Work from home is woke.
Haven't you been paying attention?
BobbyLeeBob t1_jcon1vr wrote
Then I am woke on at least one issue. Who would have thought 🤔
omgFWTbear t1_jcn3ylm wrote
The bank failed because the glove didn’t fit so all the investors their assets acquit.
kzlife76 t1_jcn9yqu wrote
Wokeness turned my dog gay.
[deleted] t1_jcph4gk wrote
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leapdayjose t1_jcpw2cc wrote
Lmao. "It's turning the dang dogs gay!!!"
TreesForTheForest t1_jco6g5z wrote
I work at a much larger financial institution than SVB. Let me translate: our managers did a shitty job of managing risk. Because they were not competent enough to use telephones, zoom, email and instant messaging to connect effectively with others in the organization, they did not understand they were doing a shitty job until it was too late.
TripleGarlic t1_jcrhy4h wrote
Nothing needs to anymore.
More fuel for culture wars.
cote112 t1_jcmwump wrote
It does if the bank was dependent on private nonresidential fixed investment.
UnsuspectingS1ut t1_jcmx3nu wrote
But it wasn’t
cote112 t1_jcmze93 wrote
Trust the username
marvelmon t1_jclfkj6 wrote
Of course. Had nothing to do with SVB not having a risk manager watching their investments.
chemicalrefugee t1_jcm4tn2 wrote
And of course nothing to do with the deregulation of banks under Trump. Or the US obsession with pretending that Classical Economic Theory works. Nah, it has to be something that actually increases bank profitability (work from home) but which the power obsessed managers dislike because it puts employees out of their sight.
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_jcmqjny wrote
it doesnt put them out of sight, they can demand a teams video call whenever they want
CosineDanger t1_jcoelfl wrote
There's subtleties to power, and layers to why wfh is seen as the enemy even if it makes productivity go up.
marvelmon t1_jcm6d3c wrote
Deregulation had nothing to do with it. SVB made bets that the interest rates would remain low. When interest rates were being raise by the Feds, they didn't have a risk manager to adjust their investments.
And who is going to pay for the bailout? Regular people through ever increasing bank fees.
Inflation happened under Biden. Higher interest rates happened under Biden. This had nothing to do with Trump.
[deleted] t1_jcmb0yx wrote
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marvelmon t1_jcmfvs3 wrote
"Silicon Valley Bank Would Have Passed The Liquidity Coverage Ratio Requirement" March 14, 2023 (Bank Policy Institute)
The failure of SVB appears to reflect primarily a failure of management and supervision rather than regulation.
https://bpi.com/silicon-valley-bank-would-have-passed-the-liquidity-coverage-ratio-requirement/
AttractiveNuisance37 t1_jcm6wh4 wrote
Except that stress testing and liquidity coverage ratios exist to prevent banks from gambling on rates the way SVB did.
[deleted] t1_jcm7cbv wrote
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jointheredditarmy t1_jcmaumd wrote
So it’s been a while since school but I seem to remember it would not have. Treasuries are always considered risk free for capital calculation purposes. When rates go up 5 points in 9 months it’s anything but risk free. The thinking is that even if you have a duration mismatch, it will converge at some point, since the treasury will get paid back at some point, and that’s true until you have a bank run.
BirdsbirdsBURDS t1_jcp4odc wrote
“Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent”. Can’t help but feel this lesson was learned before. Not too long ago.
No-Carry-7886 t1_jco5auy wrote
Yo dumbass are you familiar with economics? I work for a bank and trade for a living lol and deregulation is absolutely what did it.
Imagine sticking up for banks lol
Wiley_Applebottom t1_jcooeyl wrote
It had to do with ALL OF THEM idiot.
[deleted] t1_jcnhskb wrote
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mytthewstew t1_jcvytvc wrote
They could not hire a risk manager because they would have pointed out the risk.
IcyContribution8432 t1_jcq1kwk wrote
Or the fact that Peter Thiel told everyone he knew to withdrawal all their money causing a run on the bank.
marvelmon t1_jcq2ec2 wrote
Peter Thiel was right.
IcyContribution8432 t1_jczkfsa wrote
So you support attacking financial institutions in order to harm American businesses and investors?
marvelmon t1_jczmja3 wrote
Yes that's it. I support attacking financial institutions in order to harm American businesses and investors.
I want to see banks make shitty investments so that I have to pay to bail them out. I can't think of a better use of my savings than the bailout out billionaires.
buckykat t1_jd1kveb wrote
You mean Literal Vampire Peter Thiel?
SuitableNegotiation5 t1_jcll2vo wrote
Dear SVB: G.F.Y.
Your own "business practices" and risky behavior caused this.
Stop trying to shift the blame, no one is buying it.
sanjsrik t1_jcld4j5 wrote
Wow. Just wow.
ghigoli t1_jcndsic wrote
FDIC should fucking seize all the c-suites money and just beat them with a bat in prison cells.
they fucked up but won't admit it. wtf is professionalism these days if everyone making millions is just a fucking toddler in a suit.
TheReapingFields t1_jcpi3dr wrote
Professionalism? Hell no. Look, I think its best someone explains the financial and banking sector to you, before you get entrenched in the idea there is any professional standard in play. There isn't.
It is a sector, just like investing is, for people who point blank refuse to work for their money, and will do anything as long as they can keep themselves from doing any work and making money while doing it. It exclusively attracts people who only sweat at all, if they are either at spin class, getting laid, or climbing more stairs than they planned for. Its for people with soft hands, weak backs and no guts.
If any of the people in the financial services sector were worth a shit, they'd have learned a trade, worked out how to use power tools and rulers, and be building houses, fixing plumbing, laying cable and doing carpentry, but instead, they joined the "I don't want to do anything useful, but I want you to pay me up the ass to do the useless shit I do" brigade. It shouldn't be a surprise that things collapse when the people in the industry are as they are. It should be a source of shock every time a day goes by WITHOUT a major collapse, because its more by luck than judgement.
toejamandtoast t1_jcptvqd wrote
Honestly if the people who continue to do this DID face beatings and actual consequences it wouldn’t be as rampant.
[deleted] t1_jcn4tvz wrote
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New_Stats t1_jclorou wrote
I went into my small, regional bank today to see if the bank was in any danger. They are not, they didn't invest in crypto or anything as risky as SVB invested in, because they aren't fucking mooks. They also have a thing called risk management, because they aren't insane.
sdaciuk t1_jcltevr wrote
But did you check to make sure none of their staff worked remotely on those decisions?
New_Stats t1_jcltlgq wrote
oh shit good point, I didn't even think to ask because it had fuck all to do with it
sdaciuk t1_jcm1wxd wrote
Your mistake, hope your money is OK but it's probably a write-off.
New_Stats t1_jcm2hh5 wrote
no no no , they didn't work from hoooooooooome! They worked in the office even when covid shut everything down :(
TheMightySurtur t1_jcnpgri wrote
Check to see if any are woke drag queens just to be safe.
Eruionmel t1_jcmfjl2 wrote
Omfg 😂
CC-5576-03 t1_jcly856 wrote
SVB didn't invest in crypto, they kept their customer deposits in bonds. The problem was that as interest rates increased their old bonds became worth less. If it hadn't been for the bank run they could have held the bonds to maturity and then they wouldn't have lost any money.
Also a bank will never tell you if they're in danger because they don't want to incite a bank run.
TheManInTheShack t1_jcm1n3l wrote
What most don’t seem to understand is that SVB had plenty of assets. They just didn’t have enough cash on hand and foolishly pre-announced a cash raise which caused the investor to pull out and then a run on the bank.
The reason the US Government is willing to guarantee all depositors is because they know they can find a buyer.
dastardly740 t1_jcmrwm1 wrote
They also appeared to have a significant proportion of their deposits effectively controlled by one person where that individual telling all his portfolio companies to withdraw there deposits was enough to eat up the banks liquidity.
TheManInTheShack t1_jcm1c15 wrote
During the 2008 crisis no credit unions ran into any problems either because they tend to be pretty conservative.
Moccus t1_jcmai5t wrote
SVB wasn't invested in crypto. None of the banks that failed were invested in crypto. They were mostly heavily invested in US Treasury bonds, which in normal circumstances are one of the safest investments in the world.
hamhead t1_jcm2g1l wrote
SVB didn't invest in crypto or in anything particularly risky...
SilasX t1_jcukocj wrote
SVB collapsed because of their long-term Treasury bonds, not their conventionally-risk investments like startups or crypto.
When is this misconception going to die?
[deleted] t1_jcunae4 wrote
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opiewhiskas t1_jclq9qp wrote
I would have blamed the green power ranger honestly…..that damn ocarina
ryle_zerg t1_jcmcq54 wrote
RIP Jason David Frank
ScottEATF t1_jcltikk wrote
SVB failed because of investment decisions that would have had to have been helmed by the absolute highest level of management.
That level of management would enjoy the ability to come and go as they please regardless of SVB's remote work policy.
Having employees in an office or not would not affect SVBs executives from adopting investment strategies that included covering short term deposits with long term investments without aggressive hedges against interest rate fluctuations.
They choose those instruments because that's where the highest return was at the time. They did not consider long term implications of that because they were concerned with short term profitability. Likely because their compensation and bonuses hinge on meeting profitability margins, not ensuring the future stability of the bank.
hamhead t1_jcm2qkq wrote
>SVB failed because of investment decisions that would have had to have been helmed by the absolute highest level of management.
They included executives and management being spread out as one of the problems...
BowzersMom t1_jcosoop wrote
Was not sharing physical space really the reason they put a full half of their investments in long-term bonds?
hamhead t1_jcosrzr wrote
Hell if I know. I’m just saying they’re not just saying poor decisions were the fault of simple workers working from home.
BowzersMom t1_jcotgyj wrote
Hun, they’re making up excuses. But it doesn’t matter because they’re all out of a job now! (Or will be when the fed finishes selling off all their assets and winding them down).
beetus_gerulaitis t1_jclt2dm wrote
Any idiot knows SVB failed because Tom Brady left the Pats for the Bucs.
carvedmuss8 t1_jcmk25i wrote
Gronk hurt worse tbh, we could have won another Super Bowl that year
Browncoat40 t1_jclehkt wrote
Lol. There are enough other semi-reputable things to blame. Twitter, politicians, “woke” Silicon Valley businesses, hell even boogeymen like the woke mob or regulations. Remote work didn’t cause a short-term shortfall or a bank run
zwaaa t1_jclmr0k wrote
Are you sure it was remote work? Are you sure it wasn't greed?
Ande64 t1_jcmn57i wrote
Well they didn't blame drag queens so I guess we're moving in the right direction....
FrostyDog94 t1_jcn7d1t wrote
I read this as Brian Griffin saying "Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't NOTHING?"
burnmenowz t1_jcm8h8w wrote
Can't take any responsibility can they?
So I guess remote workers forced them to make risky investments.
Callinon t1_jcmtx5x wrote
Is it the remote work? Or is it the gays?
Make up your mind, guys.
SAM0070REDDIT t1_jcn1mp5 wrote
It's like a stupid conservative adlib
It was the ______ fault
- Gays;
- Lack of guns;
- Electric cars; or
- Abortions
Despite all of this, the conservative men keep supporting the transgender community through monthly donations to their favourite femboy onlyfans account.
redundant_ransomware t1_jcngk2v wrote
For banks to fail, it's definitely abortions!
jsr116 t1_jcmx4fe wrote
I am so tired of the ridiculous corporate propaganda in the United States. Deregulation and risky financial investments without leaving enough working capital on hand was the reason for the failure, not remote work.
kokopilau t1_jclbtl5 wrote
Awesome defense.
hackingdreams t1_jcnik2d wrote
So far they've blamed (just off the top of my head): Black people, LGBT people, Women, Biden, and now remote work.
The actual factually known cause: a liquidity crisis caused by social media, enabled by the Republican repeal of banking regulations.
oszlopkaktusz t1_jcr8se9 wrote
> The actual factually known cause: a liquidity crisis caused by social media, enabled by the Republican repeal of banking regulations.
That's quite a bit simplistic and not even true. We are talking billions of dollars and a bank that didn't serve your average American.
AUWarEagle82 t1_jclv1h5 wrote
It's true! I work remotely and I never visited SVB to deposit any money! I didn't think they would catch on to me this quickly.
olearyboy t1_jclxmam wrote
I thought it was the woke left? I just can’t keep up anymore
freedom_from_factism t1_jcmbe5u wrote
They're woke except when working from home, then they're asleep.
Whatever suits the narrative.
ThreeSloth t1_jcm332k wrote
They're throwing out every excuse except taking responsibility.
It's easier that way!
telendria t1_jcoaegc wrote
WFH = woke from home
SReynolds77 t1_jclzeth wrote
Make bad bond investments. Blame wfh. Classic
44035 t1_jcm6muz wrote
I thought Critical Race Theory caused the crash.
ManyFacedGodxxx t1_jclo1wx wrote
“Woke” Remote Work or “Un-Woke??” /s
I would gone with Red Algae or UFOs myself but sure, remote work, why not…
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_jcmqdxm wrote
Running out of things to blame it on. Have they blamed it on cracker jacks yet?
Jomgui t1_jcnbiq1 wrote
Yes, Jerry from HR reading CVs from home was the reason the higher ups failed to consider how the market works. DAMN YOU JERRY
theflamingsword101 t1_jclviuk wrote
Greed. It's all just unbridled greed!
GingerMcBeardface t1_jcm5j89 wrote
My credit union released a memo to the effect of "unlike some for profit banks that don't really care about you, we give a flying f=÷&%." I appreciated the dig.
TheWhiteSchoolman t1_jcmgzpn wrote
Does this mean that for people who do work in the office their households going to fail due to their remote house work?
TeFD_Difficulthoon t1_jcmqouo wrote
Pathetic fucking cowards
Upshot12 t1_jcmvxtr wrote
I can see the gaslight from here.
D_Winds t1_jcof38b wrote
Be an adult and just blame the pandemic.
Loud_Adagio2222 OP t1_jcogiq4 wrote
Usually, migrants and poor people are blamed for shit like this
O1O1O1O1O t1_jcoje6v wrote
The criticisms of SVB's supposed wokeness and work-from-home culture, in the Financial Times, are odd because they appear completely unrelated to the decisions that brought the bank down. lt's a very odd piece.
NetDork t1_jcljwdg wrote
Am increase in employee productivity led to their downfall? Sure.
Xyrus2000 t1_jcls0ds wrote
Pretty sure it was the lack of Furbys.
[deleted] t1_jclsa2d wrote
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DamonFields t1_jcm2mz5 wrote
Sometimes criminals can be most brazen.
MytthewS t1_jcm6om5 wrote
No chance it was this guys fault: The executive team at SVB was spread out around the country, with CEO Greg Becker at times working from Hawaii,
doelutufe t1_jcnmcuo wrote
See, thats the problem. The C-level didn't work from home, but from the beach. If everyone had done that, it would've been fine, but no, they just had to work from their own home.
ksigley t1_jcm8j2u wrote
EFF YOU SEE KAY EYE EHN GHE LOL
acuet t1_jcme7x7 wrote
Welp, at least they didn’t blame violent videos games! /s
Uorodin t1_jcmgubk wrote
Clearly, everyone who is WFH is slacking off and instead of generating value, they're playing more violent video games!!! /s
goinmobile2030 t1_jcmec97 wrote
Someone help me shut the Bullshit Detector off, please.
MrNothingmann t1_jcmg1as wrote
The poors are happy? That shits gotta stop. Let's blame literally everything wrong on the thing making them happy.
trollsmurf t1_jcmj4yp wrote
"essential workers" = underpaid cleaning staff from Mexico?
Black_Dovglas t1_jcn2wff wrote
Pricks
HRHGracktheGreat t1_jcnk5fi wrote
Priorities when assigning blame show where their real fears reside. They always new Uncle Sam Warbucks would come bail their asses out.
msur t1_jco44td wrote
"Former executives at SVB grasp at straws to deflect blame."
JTuck333 t1_jcoham9 wrote
They bought too many low yield T bills because they thought inflation was “transitory”. Regulation would have just pushed them to buy more T bills and obviously has nothing to do with remote work.
[deleted] t1_jcorbia wrote
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StillSundayDrunk t1_jcp2u80 wrote
Why would we listen to workplace/business advice from a failed business?
BeowulfsGhost t1_jcpga9i wrote
So it’s remote work or woke ideology? And not poor investment strategy, under capitalization, or mismanagement as seems totally evident from the circumstances?
Whatever, the bank leadership is desperately casting about for someone else to blame.
IcyContribution8432 t1_jcq1ff0 wrote
A bank run caused them to fail. The bank run was organized by Peter Thiel.
TripleGarlic t1_jcrhsbb wrote
Haha. Never let a good crisis go to waste.
The devil works hard, but corporate America works harder.
politits t1_jcrld25 wrote
First they tried to blame diversity, then WFH… whatever straws conservatives can desperately grasp at to try to shift blame from the obvious actual culprit which is Trump & Republicans eliminating essential banking regulations.
magenta_placenta t1_jcybaah wrote
How about the SVB CEO lobbying to reduce risk regulations:
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/mar/11/silicon-valley-bank-weaken-risk-regulations-svb
Or SVB executives mass dumping their shares 2 weeks before collapse:
https://www.newsweek.com/silicon-valley-bank-ceo-sold-million-stock-before-collapse-1787062
Or SVB executives getting millions in bonuses hours before takeover:
As always, the shit rolls downhill. Tired of this clown world yet?
But nah, it's definitely remote work's fault. Weak risk management is solved by c o l l a b o r a t i o n.
jayfeather31 t1_jclhxj2 wrote
That doesn't even make any sense.