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United-Hyena-164 t1_j5q72bi wrote

Might I suggest a marine biologist instead?

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Legendarybbc15 t1_j5r5q34 wrote

You ma’am, are responsible for the coffee spill on my keyboard

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dan420 t1_j5qf5dq wrote

Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe

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fuzzypickles34 t1_j5rl2g5 wrote

With a name like Cheatum, how could you not become a divorce attorney?

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print_isnt_dead t1_j5rmz9d wrote

Woosh?

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prberkeley t1_j5q9eib wrote

I don't know any good shark lawyers but if you need an expert in bird law I know of a particularly skilled one in Philadelphia.

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ysdsgdmf t1_j5rec0d wrote

Let’s say you and I go toe to toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor

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Scallywag810 t1_j5rke6x wrote

Is this bird lawyer well versed in reason? If so, that doesn't matter.

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Ready-Interview-9809 t1_j5rkvae wrote

Do they speak pigeon?

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Scallywag810 t1_j5rl3t3 wrote

Not all bird lawyers are multilingual. Most bird lawyers that represent indigent clients (e.g., pigeon) should certainly speak their language

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momoneymocats1 t1_j5pbfn7 wrote

Never knew sharks got married. Huh, TIL

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HandsofStone77 t1_j5qtj9b wrote

I used Anton Reinert. Steady, super detail oriented and knowledgeable, and a dry sarcastic sense of humor that I appreciated. Every time I lost my temper he was there to calm me down and take an even keeled, strategic approach. Highly recommend him. DM me if you want more info.

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BNL52577 t1_j5rdn0h wrote

Glad he was able to help keep you from burninating the village.

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papabutter21 t1_j5rs2hp wrote

I read that as burn urinating I can’t be the only one

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HandsofStone77 t1_j5rdrrj wrote

Haha, I needed the help sometimes. An emotionally abusive and manipulative ex will do that to you. :)

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ZetaInk t1_j5qkn9e wrote

Wow, I can't believe I missed the historic moment where the MA shark community finally achieved marriage equality.

Good for you.

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Goldeverywhere t1_j5ps3jg wrote

You might also want to get some general advice on r/divorce if you haven't been there yet. A lot of people are in similar situations.

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Undecidedbutsure t1_j5qorpd wrote

McEvoy & Stuntz. In addition to being experienced you also want them to be well connected within the court system, Stuntz is.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5qtx50 wrote

That’s what I am thinking too. It’s important that the attorney has a good, professional relationship within the court system.

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Undecidedbutsure t1_j5r3qzb wrote

I used Stuntz. This was years ago, and she knew everyone. The Judges, the courthouse staff, the other attorneys. Believe me, it comes into play. She doesn’t take any shit and is well respected.

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johnmh71 t1_j5pg1cp wrote

Barbara J. Katzenberg. Worth every penny. She specializes in what you are describing.

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3720-To-One t1_j5ptrh6 wrote

Does she also work with cetaceans? Or just sharks?

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johnmh71 t1_j5pyrna wrote

Let's just hope you don't end up needing that kind of help. It isn't a joking matter when you do.

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3720-To-One t1_j5pyyiu wrote

Welcome to the internet, dude.

No need to get so green in the gills.

If you don’t want people cracking jokes, then OP can word their post better.

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johnmh71 t1_j5pzsi0 wrote

Was there something wrong with my comment, which is what you replied to, or did you just feel the intense need to be an immature clown?

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3720-To-One t1_j5q0js4 wrote

Yes, in fact there was. See my previous comment.

This is the internet. You’re not going to last long if you start swinging the hammerhead whenever people crack jokes at a humorously worded post.

For real, how exactly did my comment detract from yours? The information is there if OP wishes to pursue that particular shark attorney.

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United-Hyena-164 t1_j5q78xf wrote

Look, if people had thicker shells we wouldn't be in this mess. But, here we are.

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ManifestDestinysChld t1_j5q2bg2 wrote

OMG, keep talking. You should definitely keep this line of dialog up, it's a good idea that will absolutely work out well for you.

Steady as she goes!

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Unable-Bison-272 t1_j5r8f8c wrote

Redditors think that everyone needs to laugh at their shitty repeated jokes. It’s a joke! Yeah, sorry the joke sucks and isn’t funny.

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dan420 t1_j5qexbq wrote

You’re right. I saw a documentary about it once. Set around here actually. Jaws it was called.

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2tuna2furious t1_j5q90ol wrote

Holy fuck this is who my dad had for his divorce 😂😂😂

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FrostyPhotog t1_j5ruhyf wrote

So hear me out on this… If your Ex got the the typical, over the top divorce attorney, you might be inclined to go the opposite direction. My Ex, went that way. She hired a prominent city councilman in the city I live who is very well known as being old money in the divorce legal game. When she retained him, my best friend pulled me aside and said “you might be in some trouble” as he had also used this gentleman on a different matter.

Having said that, being a large 6’3, 250lb man being painted as this angry, argumentative monster I went the route of getting a 60 year old, unassuming, motherly attorney who did a fantastic job for me. She was almost Columbo like where she would play naive, only to come full circle and really hammer this windbag of a tough guy.

I have full custody, and get paid child support… and I am a biological man, in MA lol. That’s almost unheard of.

Shoot me a DM if you want more info.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5tsait wrote

I love this and will definitely reach out, thank you!! I’m so glad everything worked out for you. Can I ask, were you a the primary care giver to the children?

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FrostyPhotog t1_j5ymtff wrote

I wouldn't say "everything worked out" for me. You will learn in time that whenever you go to court, you have to give to get. You just simply won't get everything you ask for, so I found it was better to initially aim high, and then work out a "compromise" that was more in line with what your actual expectations are.

My Ex and I were equal care givers. Hammer that home. You are a not a "weekend Dad," you are a staple in your children's lives, and their stability both physically and emotionally depends on your involvement with them. She will dispute this. You will rebut saying she is full of it. It's up to the judge to decide.

I found probate court was just a game of percentages. Everything you do is just to try to add a few percentage points to your column. Have court? Show up on time, dressed appropriately. Have a child exchange at the local police department? You're there 15 mins early. Document, Document, Document literally everything. Someone needs a contact number? Here you go, I have it readily available because.... my kids are the most important thing to me. Get a therapist. Not because you are mentally unstable, but because you are "willing to utilize all the resources available to you in order to navigate what is sure to be a difficult transition for both you and your kids." Im not saying if you do all this, that you just... win. Far from it. But it all looks good, and on any given day that might be just enough to sway your favor with the judge.

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5teerPike t1_j5qy2s0 wrote

Don't lie about molestation, it will really fuck up your kids

Edit: false accusations about that are very common in custody battles. Don't do it.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5qzd5k wrote

I would/could NEVER do that! Only a monster would do that! I’m sorry if something like that happened to you.

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5teerPike t1_j5r05yh wrote

I was the child in that situation, but it practically killed the person who was accused as far as I see it.

No worries though, I just think more people ought to know about this because it rarely factors into discourse pertaining to false accusations and it should.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5r1f1c wrote

Thank you for sharing. My heart breaks for you, and for the falsely accused. I can’t imagine the impact that must have had on both of your lives… some people are pure evil.

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5teerPike t1_j5r1lmu wrote

The person that did that is / was my step mother

Thankfully he divorced her cheating ass too lol

Thank you for the kind words, I'm ok now and married myself! Sometimes when you're growing up you learn about how you don't want to be in the future.

Good luck in your endeavors!

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pillbinge t1_j5q56zj wrote

I know a really good lawyer. Took my ass to the cleaners.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5q9pfd wrote

Would you mind sharing the name? Feel free to send it privately if you are comfortable.

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pillbinge t1_j5qewtg wrote

I feel bad because it's a joke, and this joke has never worked out on Reddit. Still, I make it.

(The joke being that the lawyer I would recommend is one who fucked me, not people I was suing).

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5qtmsr wrote

Ooh, yeah,I didn’t sense that was a joke! I thought perhaps you’d lost in court and the opposing attorney was a badass!

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Unable-Bison-272 t1_j5r915y wrote

Maybe there’s a reason no one gets it? Because it’s not a good joke.

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pillbinge t1_j5riptl wrote

It’s a line from Chevy Chase in Community, so I’d say it’s definitely a good one.

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Unable-Bison-272 t1_j5sh8dr wrote

So you are just regurgitating lines from a ten year old tv show? How clever of you.

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Stratussphere t1_j5qpwd2 wrote

Goodluck with that... if you get a very impartial judge who has started seeing things more 50/50, that shark lawyer is gonna make you look like an asshole when appearing in court. Shark lawyers are becoming more a thing of the past, which is fantastic. Should be more about substantiated facts and not throwing shit on the courtroom wall to see what sticks. Didn't work out well for my ex wife, I can tell you that much.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5quiyu wrote

My STBX has retained a “shark”. I didn’t want things to go this way. I need someone who is not easily intimidated, and also very good at what they do.

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Stratussphere t1_j5r8h6o wrote

A lawyer who is knowledgeable/experienced in the field and not intimidated doesn't necessarily mean they are shark, nor does it mean you need one. Facts, evidence, and ways to support your claims and the others behaviors can go a long way with a judge and make the other so called "Shark" lawyer look like an idiot. Mine had the calm and intelligent shark approach, only attacking when provoked and necessary for the point to be made, but no slandering or throwing nasty accusations into the mix. Plus, the only thing worse than having two nasty spouses going after each other is having two nasty and toxic lawyers doing the same, but at your expense.

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GoBerzerko t1_j5qc30v wrote

Callahan and Barraco. I’ve been in professional networking groups where people have asked to be connected with them if anybody else in the group knows them. I went to law school with one of them. Very very good at what they do, and very well respected in Worcester County

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flickerdown t1_j5qleo3 wrote

Uhhhh. No. They handled one aspect of my divorce and completely and utterly botched my alimony calculations. So…yeah, I’d avoid.

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sprinklecattoo t1_j5rdk6p wrote

Mary Jo Hart - she’s out of Northboro

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BQORBUST t1_j5rhyf1 wrote

Have you considered an attorney trained in bird law as an alternative

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OwlBeneficial2743 t1_j5t0jpy wrote

10 years ago the average price for a divorce was around $100K in legal fees. And the result of spending all that dough was within 5% of the initial proposals. Today, I’m guessing it’s higher; maybe $120K. This is the average and given what you said, your situation is above average, but not in a good way. So, a wild guess is this will cost you and your soon to be ex, $150K to $200K. So, essentially, you’ll get to pay for a good chunk of the college fees for the kids of your lawyers… and get almost nuthin out of it.

If you both can easily afford this without financially impacting the kids, find your shark and knock yourselves out. However (and I know this is easy for me to say), if this has a significant impact, is there any chance you can sit with your spouse, show him or her the numbers and what they’ll mean to your lifestyles and those of your kids, and try mediation.

With mediation, the costs are dramatically lower; probably under 10K and the mediator is not incented to drag out the fight. Also, I’ve heard they’re skilled in defusing emotions.

And I’m fully aware that some couples are so dug in or one side has become so evil that you have to use sharks. But I know that your odds of avoiding this massive bill and getting thru the divorce with some sanity and more secure kids, increase if you have this conversation before getting the sharks involved. After that, it’s like two freight trains heading for each other and it’s hard to change course.

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5v9z4j wrote

Thank you for the advice, I fully agree with you. I want to do this with a mediator. Unfortunately, I cannot control my stbx. They seem to be hell bent on making this as hard as possible. Our children deserve better. I can only hope they come to their senses and realize that it doesn’t need to be this way. We are in no position to fund a divorce that costs tens of thousands! The focus should be on the children and making this transition as easy and comfortable for them as possible.

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qoreilly t1_j5t2q33 wrote

I checked your comments, you have my sympathies dealing with an alcoholic husband and I hope you get the kids because that would be in their best interest

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Throwaway51505150- OP t1_j5vad6d wrote

Thank you. It’s definitely not an easy situation to navigate and I have to protect the children.

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XHIBAD t1_j5rlr7j wrote

Haven’t used him for divorce, but I’ve used Craig Higgins in Marlborough for estate and he was great. He’s still young enough to have that hunger (my last attorney should have retired 10 years ago) but he’s been around the block and has tons of awards.

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JoeyBudz5 t1_j5rfhx2 wrote

Can't help you there. But if you need help selling your house, then send me a DM.

Best of luck!

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