10 years ago the average price for a divorce was around $100K in legal fees. And the result of spending all that dough was within 5% of the initial proposals. Today, I’m guessing it’s higher; maybe $120K. This is the average and given what you said, your situation is above average, but not in a good way. So, a wild guess is this will cost you and your soon to be ex, $150K to $200K. So, essentially, you’ll get to pay for a good chunk of the college fees for the kids of your lawyers… and get almost nuthin out of it.

If you both can easily afford this without financially impacting the kids, find your shark and knock yourselves out. However (and I know this is easy for me to say), if this has a significant impact, is there any chance you can sit with your spouse, show him or her the numbers and what they’ll mean to your lifestyles and those of your kids, and try mediation.

With mediation, the costs are dramatically lower; probably under 10K and the mediator is not incented to drag out the fight. Also, I’ve heard they’re skilled in defusing emotions.

And I’m fully aware that some couples are so dug in or one side has become so evil that you have to use sharks. But I know that your odds of avoiding this massive bill and getting thru the divorce with some sanity and more secure kids, increase if you have this conversation before getting the sharks involved. After that, it’s like two freight trains heading for each other and it’s hard to change course.