Another one.

Just sitting in my hallway from God-knows where.

And my husband behind it, looking as giddy as a child with a candy bar. He smiled at me while speaking, "Look at this! All the latest features and more! Apparently this one can hold up to two times more cans of beer than a regular mini fridge. Isn't that awesome?"

I pressed my face into my hands and took a deep breath. I loved Tom and all, but this...this was too much.

"What the hell, Tom? You can't just keep buying mini-fridges! What's the point of all that extra space, if we have...what was it, five?"

He grinned again. "Yep! This makes six."

"Honestly, Tom! This seems to be harbouring on some sort of obsession. We don't need that many mini fridges."

"Of course we do! Where are we going to store all our food if the need arises? I'm thinking ahead, that's all."

"Thinking ahead does not mean buying six mini fridges. Six! Two, maybe three is enough! But six? That's overkill!"

He slowly shook his head, "I promise you, the sixth mini fridge is not the problem here."

"Well I'll be damned if it isn't," I shot back at him.

"Just hear me out. Imagine we hold a Thanksgiving dinner at our house. My parents and siblings come, your family comes. It's like a big thing."

"That's not go-" I began to say.

"Wait a second, Susie. Let me talk first."

I narrowed my eyes at him, and he spoke again.

"Everyone brings a plate to share, there's some mac and cheese, some various salads. Just the usual. But, there was a miscommunication. Both your parents and mine bring a turkey!"

I rolled my eyes at him. What on earth are you going on about?

"Well it's pretty funny at first, everyone's laughing at the fact that we have two turkeys. But then your mother says to put her turkey in the fridge, so we can save it for later, Well I wouldn't have planned for that. I'd have opened our fridge and saw there was no space. I'd have to leave the turkey out to go bad, which would garner disapproving stares from every party involved."

"So...you want six mini fridges because...?" I asked Tom.

"I don't want the turkey to go bad."

"Are we still talking about fridges?"

The guide quickly beckoned us closer.

"If you look now, you can observe an interesting phenomenon called 'death.' Entirely practiced only by lifeforms originating from the planet designated as Earth. Scientists have been researching the phenomenon for eons, but it is not yet known why these lifeforms participate in this peculiar activity."

I craned my neck further to get a glimpse of the humans. There were eight of them standing in a circle, around one singular human lying on the floor. The lone human was of the sub-species female, and seemed to be performing their respiratory functions with noticeable difficulty.

The guide began again. "See how they gather around the one who they refer to as dying? See how it resembles our ancestor's very own Egru'tar?"

I nodded. The Egru'tar was our traditional 'religious movements.' While it was done by every member of my species in days of old, only the devout and the First still practice it.

"Because of this, it has been speculated that 'death' is a religious tradition. It has been debated that dying is actually an act of supreme worship, and that all earthlings are required to do it at some point. Interestingly enough, when a human has finished dying, all their bodily functions cease to operate in a desired way. Including brain activity."

An audible gasp rippled through our group. One member piped up, "But how is that possible? Surely their soul cannot leave their flesh?"

The guide shook one of their heads, "It still is not known how this occurs. But that seems to be the case. After they have finished dying, they cannot move, talk or think. They are just hollow...empty, so to speak."

"Then why would the earthlings want to do it?" Someone else asked.

"Some would do anything to get closer to their gods."

As the guide spoke that, the lying earthling ceased all of their movements. The other earthlings began to cry out, a sharp and hollow sound that seemed to pierce the air. I shivered as the noise flooded my olfactory receptors.

The guide looked at them. "Crying. Another religious observation practiced by the earthlings. I will tell you about it now."

They’re running from the Eldridge horror that’s slowly been chasing for the past month. Now it’s your problem.

I rolled my eyes at her, "Who's going to respect me if I don't murder in style?"

"I get that, it's just...pink. Really? Nobody's going to take you seriously!"

I turned away from her, shaking my head. "I never said anything about them taking me seriously! What if I wanted to feign insanity? I couldn't do that wearing leather and a denim jacket, could I? Crime is an art and I have perfected it!" I spun back around to face her, and jabbed a finger into her stomach. "Obviously, you wouldn't understand things such as these. I have a job to do, and I'll do it how I damn well please!"

She looked hurt. Maybe I was a bit too harsh on her, it was her first day after all. "And the bodies?"

"They've been placed in various ways, to subtly clue the detectives to our exact location. My guess is that they are about an hour away. Everything else is running smoothly."

She nodded sharply, and began to bounce on the soles of her feet. I eyed her curiously, "What's wrong Dani? Afraid?"

She looked up at me. "Well...uhh...yeah, kinda. What if it goes wrong?"

I laughed until tears flowed. "Are you suggesting that my work would fail? That those bumbling buffoons could do nothing but quiver in fear. They don't want to deal with me. I'll kill them, and they know it."

"So what's with all the games? All the killings? Can't you just scare the police into doing what you want?"

Come now, where's the fun in that?"

She did not respond.

I decided to probe her further. "Dani, have you ever tortured someone to the brink of insanity?"

"Well yeah. "Course I have."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"I suppose I did."

"Of course it was! What type of self-depreciating villain doesn't like torturing someone? To push them over the edge! To make them plead for respite! Who wouldn't love the thrill?"

"Well, I don't know."

"You see Dani, I don't torture people physically anymore. No, torturing them mentally is so much more fun! Letting those idiots of officers believe I'll stop the killings if they do just one more thing for me. Let them think they are so close to being free! Do you understand this, Dani?"

"I...I think I do."

I smiled. "I think your going to love being my lead henchwoman."

Lol