Submitted by Marshforce t3_100xp1s in StamfordCT

Hi all! My husband and I are looking to buy a home and we absolutely LOVE Stamford. It has everything we are looking for - diversity, people of our faith, a great night life scene, easy access to NYC and near the water. The one thing we are struggling with is the schools. We do hope to have children in the near future and would like the home we purchase to be the home our kids grow up in.

Every person I've spoken to who knows CT/Stamford (about 5-10 people) has said the Stamford schools are not good and we would need to do private school. We both grew up going to public school and are having a really hard time stomaching the cost of the private schools in the area on top of what college costs will be in 20+ years at this rate.

I've been hearing about something called magnet schools that some people do and am curious what that is all about. Here are my main questions - though additional context is much appreciated!

  1. Are the Stamford schools really THAT bad? Why does the district get such a bad reputation? Are all the schools bad (elementary-high school) or just the high school?
  2. What are magnet schools? Which are the ones people go to? Do they have a cost associated like a private school? Do kids have to test in? How do kids get admitted? (Again - we're public school folks so this is super foreign). Is this only for high school?

Thanks in advance!

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PikaChooChee t1_j2knq11 wrote

  1. No! Emphatic no! The standardized test scores are not the same as the surrounding suburbs because the student body is not the same. There are so many ESL students here. It’s an awesome experience to grow up here and meet children from different backgrounds. There is a bit of white flight to the wealthier suburbs. Ultimately, you will have to choose where to live based on your values and what kind of life experiences you want for your children, and no one here can do that for you.

  2. Magnet schools draw students from either across Stamford, or (if state funded) across some of the surrounding towns. They were originally used to balance diversity — and Stamford schools were integrated before the state mandated it. Typically they have a different learning philosophy or area of concentration when compared with the other schools. Children are admitted to these schools through a lottery process. My children attended 1 magnet and 2 district schools. They received a great education and awesome opportunities at all three.

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MightyMason t1_j2ld58g wrote

This is so well put.

I went through SPS and would say they are not good. I went to magnet schools for elem. and middle and would say you are spot on with your description. For me to say SPS are not good and that aligning with how they are rated may be a coincidence or may not be but it is ultimately based solely on my opinion having gone through the system.

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freakin_username t1_j2kzjb6 wrote

I’m an white upper middle class parent in Stamford and put 2 kids through the Stamford Public Schools. My kids had a very good experience. They attended a magnet primary school and traditional middle and high school. It’s not perfect, but no schools are. My kids found their people, played sports, did extracurricular activities etc. They are young adults now and still keep up with the friends they made. They both attended very good public Universities post-high school. The Stamford schools are what you make of them. We wanted our kids to attend a diverse school. My wife even taught in one of the wealthier adjacent districts and we opted not to send our kids to school there, even though we could have. We wanted them to be geographically close to their school friends. We’ve seen a lot of “white flight” in Stamford over the years, parents looking for less diverse districts to send their kids to. Our objective was just the opposite.

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KnipSter t1_j2l75t4 wrote

This! Very similar experience.

The "white flight" ends up with a whole different set of issues that come with the wealthier communities.

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JLPhiTau t1_j2kjo2o wrote

Stamford schools are comparatively worse than the school districts surrounding it, but that can be significantly attributed in great part to stamford schools serving a significantly more ethnically and socioeconomically diverse populace than say - New Canaan or Darien.

If you attempt to adjust for economic factors the school system has much more similar outcomes to the "fancy" (read: rich and white) towns around us.

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PikaChooChee t1_j2kntei wrote

When you say worse, how are you assessing the schools? What makes you say they are worse?

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AAAPosts t1_j2kpiy5 wrote

Probably the comparative testing scores and graduation rates, crime in schools, chronic absenteeism etc

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gwy2ct t1_j2kxrcp wrote

What crime in Stamford schools?

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AAAPosts t1_j2ok24p wrote

You new here?

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gwy2ct t1_j2oof5g wrote

No, but I don't live in Stamford so I'm curious as to crime in Stamford schools that you alluded to as being a problem. Also, no need to downvote me when I'm genuinely asking a question about something you brought up.

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urbanevol t1_j2knckz wrote

Stamford schools are not bad. Stamford is a large, diverse district with many students that have serious challenges due to poverty, immigration status, etc, as well as many students that are thriving. Are you talking to people with kids in the school system? The "schools are bad" narrative I hear mostly from people that sent their kids to private school and don't really know much about Stamford schools, or people who grew up here and think the schools are much worse than when they were kids (they are not, but they are much more diverse).

Magnet schools are simply public schools that are available through a lottery, and may have special programs and facilities. My daughter goes to one...it isn't really that much better than the non magnet options. There is a bit of a halo effect because not everyone is able to attend due to the lottery. The high schools have many excellent options if you are willing to look, e.g. IB program at Stamford high, state Agriscience program at Westhill, and others . There are a lot of different elementary schools.

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ursohot123 t1_j3pcil8 wrote

Diversity is the problem….. u gotta share a class with someone who doesnt have the same knowledge or doesnt speak the same language, not as motivated as you, thinks schools a joke. Why do i wanna keep sharing class with people who dont care about it….. honestly home school or they have to find better options to start creating better private schools or private lessons around here

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gwy2ct t1_j2l00xt wrote

Stamford is a city as are other Connecticut cities e.g. Bridgeport, New Haven, Waterbury, Danbury, Norwalk, Hartford, etc. Other places like Greenwich, New Canaan, Wilton, and Westport are towns. Running a City schools system is much different from running a town school system due to many factors e.g. size obviously but also a larger number of schools, more transportation issues, ranges of families' economic status, larger number of non-English speaking families, larger number of families with parents who don't have a college degree etc.

On the plus side, the populations are much more diverse. I referee soccer games ages U12 to U17 and there is definitely a different entitlement attitude with kids from Darien/New Canaan, etc compared to Stamford or Norwalk kids.

My kids went thru the Norwalk school system which has its problems. But with my last now in his senior year of college, I have to say they had a great experience and I wouldn't change anything if given a choice. They are well-rounded kids with humility, got into great colleges and my older two have successfully started their post-college careers. We were involved a lot and we definitely pushed them to be what they can be so in my opinion it's important to be engaged with them and their schools without being overbearing.

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NoraClavicle t1_j2lnf2n wrote

Stamford schools are not bad AT ALL. My two kids went through (district, not magnet) and are now quite successful 20-somethings, living in their own apartments, with their own jobs. The thing I always ask parents is this: How good was YOUR elementary school? Do you even know? Do you think it mattered? (Answer: it didn’t. It’s elementary school.) Pick the place you want to live based on the place you want to live. Your kids will become the people they will become based on YOU and your family life, not the place where they learn how to do long division.

Think about the lifestyle you will have if your kids go to your local, district school. My kids walked to elementary, middle, AND high school. Imagine the hours we saved because of that! Their friends could walk home with them and come over after school. I would see their friends’ parents in the supermarket. I didn’t have to drive them everywhere. Stamford High is close enough to downtown that high schoolers can walk to a job after school. Living near a city bus stop or train stop will give your children a welcome taste of independence.

Middling test scores doesn’t mean that YOUR child’s test scores will be middling—any more than going to school with poor children will make your child poor.

Does anyone really think the teachers in Darien and New Canaan are somehow better than the teachers in Stamford? Teachers are teachers—there’s good ones and unfortunately bad ones in every district. There’s no magic to high test scores other than high real estate values. If you like what Stamford has to offer, you’ll be happy in our schools. Welcome!

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RonRonner t1_j2silnc wrote

I love your comment so much. It supports so much of what I've heard and what I've surmised from my own research but hearing you put it this way makes me feel so bullish about living here. We have two young kids whoa re in daycare and still pre-school age, but we're excited to have them go through the Stamford public system and now even more so!

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DogeFancy t1_j2lb8nf wrote

Stamford schools are fine. A lot of the students attending them don’t try or have at home issues what interfere with their school life in one way or another. There are students that make it to Ivy leagues in every graduating class. What matters is the effort put in by the student.

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ChairsAreForBears t1_j2kjwmb wrote

I grew up with Stamford public schools. The elementary schools are all fine or good. Middle schools really vary. I haven't kept too close tabs, but last check Dolan and Rippowam were the better ones. High schools are okay. They are big schools. I didn't like the size and struggled socially, but not because the school itself was bad. They are good for city schools, but not as good academically as a lot of very suburban schools.

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ChairsAreForBears t1_j2kk2z0 wrote

Re: "suburban schools" meaning more rich white kids.

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AAAPosts t1_j2kpoxs wrote

Greenwich is CRAZY diverse- it’s definitely more rich but Tech ($$) brings in a lot of diversity

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PikaChooChee t1_j2kxu0q wrote

Greenwich has a surprising number of poor migrant families, too. Their public schools are semi-diverse because so many white children from wealthy families go to private school.

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NoraClavicle t1_j2qd6bs wrote

You’re kidding, right? Greenwich schools are well under the CT state average for poor kids and minority kids. They like to point out how diverse they are, but you’re mostly going to school with other rich kids. If that’s diversity to you, have at it.

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AAAPosts t1_j2rbnx8 wrote

Diversity of race/ethnicity not pocket book

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NoraClavicle t1_j2s16d7 wrote

As I said, not much of that either. Way below the state average in race/ethnicity diversity. Some Greenwich elementary schools have no Black students at all.

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MightyMason t1_j2ldjja wrote

Go up north and Trumbull has a very well rated school system and is diverse income wise. A lot of parents that work for the stamford public school system at that government center *live and send their kids to Trumbull schools.

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PikaChooChee t1_j2n1fr3 wrote

Choosing Trumbull is an economic decision, IMHO, for anyone who works in Stamford or NYC . It’s an ok town and your money goes far, but that commute will kill you.

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urbanevol t1_j2skqnw wrote

Agreed. Stamford has problems recruiting teachers because it is expensive to live here. Some teachers commute from towns like Danbury, Bethel, or Trumbull, but many ultimately end up taking jobs closer to where they can afford to live.

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biceporquadricep t1_j2nlv3j wrote

SPS get a bad rap - I think that the programs are really great and you see a lot of students having successful career paths. The bad reputation is likely because of the mixing of a wider range of SES group compared to the richer towns (New Canaan, Greenwich, Darien). I agree with the other commenters that a rich and diverse community is a huge benefit to the school experience.

magnet schools were well described. I went to AITE for high school and was in their PLTW program for biomed, now I'm in medical school - plenty of other factors contributed to that, but I would say that my high school benefited me immensely in this journey.

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heutral t1_j2o362k wrote

Recent graduate of stamford high, went to stamford public schools my whole life. 75% of stamford children go to stamford public schools. What this basically means is that the student body mostly consists of "middle class" people from the newfield/springdale/tor areas, "working class" people from the cove/ridgeway/glenbrook areas, and people living in poverty from the east side/west side/south end. The classes/student body are pretty much segregated along these lines. Once you get to high school, the student body is divided into AP/IB kids, honors kids, CP kids, and and kids that go to Stamford Academy. It's really up to your child as to where they want to end up in the larger scheme of things. It's not like private school where they are sheltered off and pretty much guaranteed a cushy upper-middle-class life afterwards. Going to public schools, there are plenty of kids each year that graduate and go to Ivies, plenty that go to state schools, plenty that start work or enlist, and plenty that drop out and start hustling. It's going to be up to your kid with regards to who they associate with, what they do and how they perform, and who they want to be. I wouldn't trade my experience in the school system for anything, but the students deserve a lot more than what the board of ed gives them.

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At0mictruth t1_j2kryw2 wrote

We just went through this debate. Stamford is greats and if you are an involved parent you can navigate at least through elementary school. )( what we hear from friends). It has diversity and the magnet schools can really help. But it is tough to get a spot in the magnet schools. It’s lottery based. I suspect with the Covid relocations to stamford schools will get better. We have lots of friebdsbthatvwentnthrough the schools 20 years ago and are great and smart.

We did end up moving to a neighboring town partially for the better schools but also for other reasons. I would say about half our friends have made the shift out over time.

Oddly is easier to get to our favorite spots in stamford now than it was from our old place in Stamford.

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MightyMason t1_j2ldv0s wrote

Stamford has changed so much from what I grew up with. It has become and is still slowly becoming a yuppie paradise. Not hating, just saying.

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PikaChooChee t1_j2n1tag wrote

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MightyMason t1_j2ne5rd wrote

What? Was that for me? I wasn’t even talking about the schools in my comment.

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PikaChooChee t1_j2nuoeq wrote

Actually unclear on how this comment ended up here, TBH. I posted it in response to someone else. Thank you for removing the unkind characterization you had originally included. Take care.

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TrafficAble1854 t1_j2kxlpx wrote

Try public schools and than attempt to apply for a scholarship at one of the private schools. King is pretty great!

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yeetgod__ t1_j2n3oe7 wrote

I went to the king school, it is very expensive but my teachers were all incredible.

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WudaSang t1_j3473ch wrote

From personal experience in the magnet schools for middle and high, I had a few good teachers, but plenty of awful ones, some who did not even bother showing up to class or who simply put on movies. And the administration was not very active in trying to prevent bad teachers from being that way or active in understanding the student population at all, often absent themselves. My high school was very clean, and the diversity was excellent, but I not only felt unchallenged, but like I was wasting my time. The magnet schools, at least, also really underappreciate and undersupport the arts, in my experience.

Partially as a result of teachers who, when present, often have little respect for their students and the intelligence that they already have or in their efforts to be friends rather than intellectual role models, the students stop caring; my high school’s unofficial name was “fake school”. Most of the learning happened on my own outside of class for my own interests. There are lots of great teachers and great students and great administrators, but they are surrounded by opposites.

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ursohot123 t1_j3pc42j wrote

HOME SCHOOL….. ive lived in stamford 26 years now…. Im almost 30….. public school is garbage and so is the private schools and magnet at a early age is amazing to do any of those but thru middle school and highschool i reccommend homeschooling…. Teachers dont care about enhancing students and even if they want to they have to abide by school or board rules. They dont get paid enough….. schools here turn out to be not as hard and more activity related because 70% of the students dont have the attention spans to focus on curriculums….. you can bring ur kids to a all white town and i hear worse about them or u can keep them where its diverse and now its crap on top of crap. I recommend home school. Hire a private tutor/teacher. Its what ALOT of people are doing especially after covid

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freckleface2113 t1_j5k8n6h wrote

I think your experience with the public or private schools will change largely on your child and your level of involvement in their education.

For example: I'm one of three and we all went to private schools in the area for high school (except the youngest who got home schooled the last two years). I didn't like private school socially because it was too small but I do think it gave me a step up academically when I got to college. My middle sibling needed more individual attention so private school was the best option for him. My youngest sibling got bullied pretty badly (they're trans) and so then got homeschooled. They thought about public school for the last two years, but decided against it and instead they were tutored through an online high school curriculum.

The three of us are quite different and I think I probably would've liked public school better and made more friends, but my younger siblings probably needed private school.

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relevant_mofo t1_j2kn8tg wrote

there is one good school - stamford charter school for excellence - private run state funded. admit by lottery. all other schools are way below avg. it's from top to bottom - nobody wants to make it better. we spend decent amount per pupil but no results.

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freakin_username t1_j2kztvq wrote

One good school? This is based on what info? Way below average? Umm….not at all.

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relevant_mofo t1_j2nefse wrote

https://www.usnews.com/education/k12/elementary-schools/connecticut

The charter school figures in the top 5. No other stamford school is anywhere on that list. Don’t talk demographics, diversity. When one school in the same city which is private run can do it in 7 years of existence not one other school can perform in 10-15 years ? I am not talking about the entire district. This is individual school. I get being a large city and diverse it is unrealistic to expect the entire district to be in the top districts in the states. At the school level no excuses.

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eBell93 t1_j2n9zmo wrote

Great night life scene? If you are 22 maybe…

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