LPT: telling someone who list a significant amount of weight that they already looked great before their weight loss might not be taken as a compliment despite your intentions.

Submitted by 808adams t3_zv3xi0 in LifeProTips

Weight loss is an incredibly difficult process physically and mentally and people who go through such process often have suffered/still suffer from body dysmorphia. And the motivation for weight loss is often triggered by feeling unhappy with physical appearance.

If you see someone genuinely happy about their weight loss and glowing with confidence as a result. Telling them they already looked great with the intention of being nice might make them question their efforts and hard work and give them a sense of doubt about their current image.

Just complement their hard work and admire their persistence in achieving their goal.

Edit: I should have made this clear but this post only applies to when someone does want to engage about their weight loss and opens up the topic themselves. This isn’t about commenting on someone’s weight loss unprompted.

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squankmuffin t1_j1n0ewc wrote

Or just don't comment on someone's weight

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AwkQthrowaway t1_j1n4dff wrote

It's painful when someone mentions my weight and weight loss. Like at all.

Compliment someone's new shirt. Their cool haircut. Their crazy keychain.

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Helios4242 t1_j1n2v5x wrote

It's also important to normalize that people come in, and look good as, a variety of body types.

Who's more important? The person who's just lost weight or the person listening who isn't happy with their weight but isn't able to lose weight easily?

Expanding our discussion of attractiveness (i.e., "looking good") helps construct a framework where people lose weight for health reasons or because they wish to, but not because of a fatphobic society. I dont think that undermines a person who worked hard to lose weight.

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Ghosthost2000 t1_j1p7zo0 wrote

I agree 100%! This is why I do not comment on what anyone looks like. I can accept a person as they are. This allows me to stay in my lane and still be supportive.

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Separate_Location112 t1_j1njdgn wrote

Just don’t mention weight. 80% of people who lose weight gain it back.

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Sarita_777 t1_j1n35ll wrote

I don't fully agree with this.

For some people it might sound defeating, but for others like me if they tell me now that I look better than when I was 30kgs heavier, it just reinforces my beliefs from before - that I looked terrible and really needed to lose the weight. Nobody likes to hear that, not even after weight loss 😖

What's important to someone who has lost weight, is being asked if they are feeling happier with themselves now that they lost the weight and are doing whatever actions for it. Be supportive of whatever answer you get, and voilà! 😇

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808adams OP t1_j1n3gpr wrote

That’s why I specifically said to complement them on their hard work and effort not on how much better they look now.

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Sarita_777 t1_j1n3yaw wrote

Yeah but sometimes that hard work turns out is a hellish life of calorie restrictions, hunger, frustrations, etc. So it's like you are complimenting them for choosing to live miserably just to be thinner - they might be happy bout the weight loss but unhappy about the price they have to pay for it... Again, everyone is different so I guess it depends on who would be receiving your advice 😅

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ChaoticAaronStout- t1_j1ol8jx wrote

I dropped 90lbs a while back. It was always very encouraging to hear that people noticed. But when they would say things like "ah well ya carried the weight well." I always thought "my knees, feet, and back didn't think so."

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fatogato t1_j1n7ky6 wrote

You looked like shit before you lost a ton of weight! But now you look like shit but skinny.

Thanks OP

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keepthetips t1_j1mwrvw wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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HowMuchDidIDrink t1_j1pl83a wrote

For a small thin person, even adding a couple pounds is really hard

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vetkoekparty t1_j1oyj8k wrote

Wow, you looked great when you were severely obese and killing yourself!

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IcedCoffeeGay t1_j1pxo3q wrote

Yeah here's a tip, fat people generally know that being fat is unhealthy. Saying things like this doesn't help anyone, it just makes you an asshole.

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