A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a werewolf," the guy replies. "How's that? You're not dressed up at all," the bartender says. "Well, it's not a full moon tonight, now is it Mr. Smart Guy?" the guy replies.
Comments
amerkanische_Frosch t1_iuibpfb wrote
Lady sends out invitations to a costume party. "Come dressed as an emotion!"
First guest shows up wearing a green spandex outfit with the letters "N" and "V" everywhere. "I'm green with envy!" Hostess laughs and invites him in.
Second guest shows up in a pink outfit with feathers around her private parts. "I'm tickled pink!" Hostess laughs and invites her in.
Two fellows show up, entirely in the nude. One has his dick encased in a tub of yellowish cream, the other has his dick encased in a pear sliced in two and wrapped around his member.
Hostess is outraged: "Just what the hell kind of emotions are THOSE supposed to be?"
First fellow responds: "Well, I'm fucking disgusted. And my friend here has come in despair."
noobadi3 t1_iuk6oxc wrote
I always heard it as I am fucking despair
amnezia13 t1_iuhieds wrote
What hillblly doesnt know what a taxidermist is?
efmanrulz t1_iuij62o wrote
I'm in Canada thinking this was another bagged milk problem.
kindaangrybear t1_iuj6fnh wrote
He's the guy they owe all their tax return money too. That 8 point wasn't gonna preserve itself for the wall.
h5n1zzp t1_iuhlbov wrote
I used to be a werewolf but I'm alright noooooow
chrischengwei t1_iuhj8am wrote
West Virginians know what a taxidermist is. It is dentsts they struggle to identify.
[deleted] t1_iujeym8 wrote
[removed]
Waitsfornoone t1_iuhr7va wrote
I'm guessing this was not in London.
Blutarg t1_iui8h6e wrote
No one said "pip pip cheerio!" so you're right.
rhymes_with_chicken t1_iujqi9s wrote
Well, a little old lady got mutilated late last night
MasksOfAnarchy t1_iuju11r wrote
By a guy whose hair was perfect.
GrumpyCatStevens t1_iujxxmm wrote
I'd like to meet his tailor.
Blutarg t1_iui8c85 wrote
Never moon a werewolf.
hoodlaces t1_iuk4vc6 wrote
What do you call a werewolf, that has NO IDEA he is a werewolf? An unawarewolf.
andrianc3g4g t1_iuhjj1s wrote
All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey, expecting to ese some pitiful Yanke from the north.
The bartender says, ‟You ain’t from around here, are ya?”
The guy says, ‟No, I am from Canada.”
‟Canada,” the bartender says, ‟what do you do in Canada?”
The guy says, ‟I am a taxidermist.”
The bartender says, ‟A taxidermist? What in the hell is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?”
‟No,” says the Canadian ‟I don’t drive a taxi, I mount animals.”
The bartender grins and hollers, ‟It’s okay boys. He is one of us.”