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JDBCool t1_j70czrt wrote

Reply to comment by JMHSrowing in [Image] Why not? by conversingwithoceans

How I deal with "decremential life choices" is.

What is this pain in the grand scheme of the some 32k-ish days I'm on this rock? (Spite)

1 day of "hard failure" + a couple hundred days of regret and longer vs 1 day of "neutral feeling" + forgetting it happened.

I still look back at the day I cheated on an assignment in middle school and had it stuck on my transcript. Somewhat haunts me in an annoying sense, but I'll constantly tell myself that every mistake I've done is what makes me "me".

Regret is "me", every mistake defines "me", how I dealt with it shaped "me". The you standing here today is the result of "all my past regrets and mistakes" to stop repeating them.

Yes, some people still can't get over pain (Like myself and my POS dad, ain't gonna forgive him for what he did). But I'll tell myself every day that "I don't want to be like that useless POS". From being broken, everyone has a choice to stay broken, or piece themselves in spite towards something.

Spite the event and "prove" that it was nothing but a few minutes.

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StayBraveBeHeroic t1_j72n3ct wrote

The key there is that you said, "How I dealt with it." A lot of people can't even do that. They are paralyzed by it. You have great outlook in that you keep moving forward. That's amazing.

Your dad, that's big one to carry. I don't have that exact pain but a different kind of heavy Gorilla I carry around~(and I subscribe to the idea or preach, "I only have space for the good in my life at this time.")

But this helped me the other day,

Forgive yourself for having that dad, it's not your shame/anger? to carry around. Shame on him.

Find a picture of the little you and put it on your phone or near your computer. Remember him/her and give the love and self care talk that that kid deserved, instead of the memories that might pop up. Change how you spend that energy of hating your dad to healing that innocent kid. Re write the script for healing yourself.

"Give up hope for a better past"

You have now.

You deserve LOVE.

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