Sounds like she has a shit husband who doesnt do shit for her, she needs to back off your husband. Being a good husband does not make him overprotective of you. She needs to not be a snake

I dont wanna say she has it easy but as a single mother to 2 who never had a nanny or help...she has it easy breezy compared to most mothers in the world. Im going to assume she is either depressed (maybe she should get a hobby that takes her away from the kids and back with adults) or she has PPD (its a depression too but completely different). Its easy to "lose yourself" when you become a parent, no matter how much help you have. Do you take her out on dates? I see you say what you do for the family but do you do things for your wife as a wife and not just the mother of your children?