Firstly he is disrespectful if he is constantly changing his plans when he is out. It is inconsiderate of him if you don’t know if he’ll be home at 1am or 8am the next day.

Secondly you are better off not being together, his actions show he is immature and not ready for a relationship like what you want. He may be a wonderful guy in most areas but he is in his party phase and he will continue to resent you because you “cramp his style”. He is going to need to learn his lessons the hard way and sadly that will probably be doing something stupid while drunk and ruining his reputation or possibly his life, if he is that kind of wild drunk, it doesn’t end well.

Third, you can’t change him or show him anything that he doesn’t want to see. My ex wife was very much into party lifestyle when we met, I was not. I told her early in dating that I wasn’t going to go party with her and I don’t want a girlfriend that goes out partying all the time and that she is absolutely welcome to keep partying and I’d wish her all the luck and be glad I met her but I wouldn’t date her. She told me she appreciated how stable I was and she should probably give it up because it wasn’t fulfilling. Fast forward a number of years of marriage and it turns out she still resented me for “forcing” her to give up parties and she missed out on years of being able to party and let loose. So my advice is that you are best just let the relationship go and don’t say anything about not trusting him. He was at the least disrespectful if not outright manipulative to make you worry than use your guilt against you to do the whole, don’t you trust me, thing.

Op, he was very disrespectful of you and your time. How often does he go out with friends and to parties?

First I’m sorry for your past trauma. I second looking into not just regular therapy but something like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or one that a friend of mine with a lot of similar trauma as you has done called Accelerated Resolution Therapy. These teach you how to cope and move past trauma and how to deal with the triggers in your life. Secondly, I’m a older guy and the woman I love has scars, I don’t see the scars as ugly, they are just part of her and I find her beautiful as could be. The scars tell a story and that’s ok. She is still here and alive and those stories written in the scars show the resilience and beauty in overcoming. One day you won’t be ashamed of your scars, so hang in there.