If you want physical books, and you're able to plan a trip to a library, see if/when your nearest one has a used book sale. They're usually a few times a year. You can donate everything you're done with, and get some new books for very cheap.

If you decide to go to kindle route, Unclaimed Baggage is a great place to find them used.

I had a similar problem! It's not unusual or stupid, contrary to what others are saying, and I'm sorry people are being rude and condescending. Fanfiction is easier to read because the barrier for entry is so low: you already know and love the characters and understand the world building. In a book, you have to spend the first few chapters just learning all those things.

From what you've said, you might try a kindle unlimited subscription for a few months - there's SO MUCH of that sort of trope-ey, fanfic-esque a/b/o and whatever else you like on there. I have read so many novellas about lesbian dragons, it's absurd.

I would avoid looking up recommendations based on your favorite fandoms (ex. books for people who love marvel movies!) because I find it's too easy to compare them and find the books lacking.

Lastly, don't worry about it too much. Reading is reading.

Title page for me!