late_apexes

late_apexes t1_j1pyuuo wrote

The problem I have is that my wife more or less refused to work for years. Yes, we have a child. Yes she was a stay at home mom. But to get by I worked two jobs, some times three to get us by. I have a masters degree and a decent full time job but life is expensive. I managed to buy our house by selling basically all of the things I had that were fun. My motorcycles for example. I got a small inheritance as well. Then I beg borrowed and stole my way into making it happen. She is going to take that from me and she contributed basically nothing asides from just being with me. She’s a good mom, but she’s never worked hard on much of anything. On top of that, now I will see my son 50% of the time I did before. It’s just such a bleak and brutal reality. I feel like a real dickhead.

Here is an interesting part of this story. After we had a bit of blow up in regards to this all, she begged me to have another kid. For years she has said that she is “one and done.” Years and years she’d say that. How do you go from a trying to fuck your boss, cheat on your husband, to wanting to have another kid?

I don’t know who this person is.

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late_apexes t1_j1pu7an wrote

Thank you for this. My anger is slowly subsiding and I am starting to get back to being able to talk to her about things. I spoke briefly with an attorney two days after I found out and have another meeting with the attorney today. I told her I have an attorney and she lost it. Thing got real for her.

Over the last six or seven months she has done really well at work. I caught her because a coworker said I should be concerned about her and her boss. I called her out. She broke down. I don’t actually think they did anything physical. I think there was some serious flirting and serious intention to cheat at some point. Had I not caught them, it would have happened eventually. She even admitted so. The best part is that in her panic she went to the IT department to see if they could find the person who contacted me. I have refused to turn that person over since they’d surely get fired. Anyways, IT asked her what the nature of the information was. She explained it was in regards to a relations ship with the boss. The boss is also the CEO. So the IT department immediately sent the claim to HR because they didn’t want to touch it. Now my wife is in big trouble and may very likely lose her job. You cant make this stuff up. What was she thinking? On top of that I spoke with the CEO’s wife and explained the situation. She barely seemed interested. They have three kids. I assume this has happened before. My wife got used and ruined our family doing it.

I have been sleeping in the guest room. It’s allowed me some time to myself. I am sending my son to my parents for this week since he is off school. I plan to stay at a friends house during this time. A little break for both my wife and I. I don’t think what she did is unforgivable. I have offered to reconcile, I have offered to do counseling. She has however refused to leave her job, and for me that is a deal breaker. Her job is good, but it’s not cheat on her husband, get caught, and still stay good. We aren’t installing a helicopter pad any time soon due to that income, the job is replaceable. It seems obvious, she no longer wants to be in this relationship. She’s just too chicken to do it the way she should have done it. I’ve been broken up with before. I’ve broken up with people before. You have to be an adult, she didn’t manage that. We have a kid and a home and cars, and I think she looked around and saw she had a good life, too much to lose, but just didn’t want to be with me anymore. So she cheated. Keep the stuff, keep the life, get the extra spicy work place sneak around affair. A brutal reality that will ripple through our lives until we die.

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late_apexes t1_j1oo0fa wrote

Yeah. I called her out. She kind of admitted it. My friend sent me the contact, so I have an attorney. He recommended I snoop her texts. It killed me, but I did it. It's a smoking gun. She realized I have the texts, and is losing her shit. It's not even remotely pretty. Especially with a 7 year old. I've asked her to leave by the 15th of January. It's an absolutely gut wrenching situation. I am about to lose 40% of my household income, plus a percentage in alimony, plus my son 50% of the time. And of course tons of other shit. All because she cheated.

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late_apexes t1_j1omrz0 wrote

Garbage. I caught my wife cheating on me this last Tuesday. Things have been insane. After lots of talks, we decided to stick it out through the holidays so we could make good on all the Christmas planning. Today we went to my dad's house, as we do every year. We open gifts, relax, then head there. She has no family in the area. She was a total fucking asshole at my dad's house the entire time. I had not told my family about this, we agreed to keep things nice and to make a Christmas for our kid. We get home, she has the nuts to apologize. When I wasn't exactly in love with the apology, she got pissed again.

Christmas went great for our 7 year old. I'm sure he noticed some of what is going on, but mostly we did well. My wife is a total piece of shit though.

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