I'm definitely working on getting myself into therapy as well because I know I'm also not perfect. It's just so expensive and there aren't a ton of resources near us. But I appreciate your perspective, especially from lived experience.

That's what I mean, if that doesn't work, then you can get something like a prescription or OTC sleep medication.

He doesn't expect me to do any of that, but I would like to be able to help him. I don't want to just stand to the side and let him wallow when there are steps we can take together to make his wallowing a bit less deep.

That's why I took notes last night. I want to make sure I say all that has been rattling around in my head and not forget something. But I also want to hear his side and have a conversation. Then if he isn't willing to even try, I can evaluate. But I want to make sure I'm approaching it with kindness and not making it a "you are wrong" kind of conversation. That doesn't help anyone, myself included.

I'm not sure. I love him deeply and I feel safe and cared for with him. He makes me very happy. It's only been relatively recently that this has really started to bother me and I think it's because of some life changes that have recently occurred.

I know he has the propensity to change (given other things he has told me about and that I've seen), it's just hard, especially given his depression.

You're right, he's not a project car. But he is a human being who deserves support and someone who will help him learn the hard things. He doesn't really get that anywhere else right now.

Sleep hygiene is how you handle your sleep. It can be really important when you have insomnia. It's things like having a set sleep schedule, staying off of electronics right before bed, and having a wind down routine. If you have good sleep hygiene, then you tend to have better sleep. If you're still suffering from insomnia, then you can go to your doc about it and it helps because you've already done most of the things they're going to suggest you try first.

I'm not viewing this as a project to try to change him, but I do want to help him grow. He does not have a lot of support in his life and I'm trying to offer him that support. He also didn't/doesn't have much guidance and I am hoping to help with that. He has dreams but hasn't been taught how to be an adult and how to chase those dreams.

He doesn't have a therapist - he had a bad experience with one when he was young. That's something we've discussed a couple of times. I think he will come around to the idea, but it's not a current situation.

This is the first time this has really started impacting me. There have been some bigger life changes recently and I think that may be why. We have a very open communication, so I feel comfortable bringing this up, I just want to make sure I don't come across as judgemental or shaming.