So they both may have cheated (OP for certain)

Yes sorry high chance your marriage is over.

First she needs to be sent for professional help - to determine if she is suffering from PPD.

If she’s not in a massive bout of PPD then she’s either cheated or is cheating, so next step is paternity testing (probably a good idea even if PPD to put your mind at rest)

Then marriage counselling - this is non negotiable, if she says no again, go straight for the divorce attorney.

She stole your money.

Tell your parents about it, and tell them that if she doesn’t return it immediately that you will be going to the police to report the theft.

No more chances.

She used several already - lying, gaslighting, emotional cheating, and based on her text’s probably physical cheating.

Just end it and find someone who will not cheat.

Give her space.

Leave.

Firstly your needs are both equally as important. And you are right that they needed to be discussed and a balance and compromise made.

You probably need to look at how to do more around the home, even if you don’t think you do, or arranging for some help so your wife gets some more time to herself on top of the counselling and yoga. But you also need to have some time for yourself.

If she doesn’t want to discuss and come to a compromise, then tell her to get a job that pays what yours does, and that you will swap places, but you will be expecting her to put your wants as more important just as she does now.

He has spoken to his friend.

I don’t think there is any way past this absolute breach of the trust in your relationship.

Try to get out ASAP, get yourself safe and cut him and all his friends out of your life.

And when you are safe, do not be afraid to tell his family what he did. They deserve to know what he did, and not his version of events that he will tell them.

You have 2 options

1. You leave.

2. You trust your GF.

From your post your GF hasn’t done anything to warrant any mistrust, in fact she seems to be doing everything perfectly. If she does do something to break the trust, then well option 1 is always there.

The only thing you really can do other than state again that you are uncomfortable with the situation, is to tell her that when he does something she doesn’t like, to not come to you to vent if she doesn’t want to hear ‘I told you so’ - yes this is petty, but you have told her, and while she has done everything right, and keeps telling him that she is in a relationship with you, he keeps trying. Sooner or later he is going to try something she doesn’t like.

Caveat to the ‘I told you so’ is if what he tries is assault, then you are in your GFs corner 100%. You do not say anything, do anything, or think anything that even hints that you are thinking about saying it.

Yes.

And as it’s affecting you so much, it is also a reason to leave him.

And unless he’s meeting you first thing in the morning, his oversleeping is a rubbish excuse.

He’s lazy. If he actually wanted to be on time he could put alarms/reminders on his phone.

So leave.

And next relationship try not to destroy it be snooping.

You can also set it to delete after viewing.

Also you say you decided to keep it off social media, so maybe he deleted it (if it was on purpose) because he realised that he shouldn’t have posted anything at all to honour your feelings.

You do realise that Snapchat stories can have an automatic timer right? So that they are only visible for 12/24 hours?