Unless he's trying to "forbid" you, then you can just keep doing what you're doing. If he does try, have a sit down and ask if he would feel more comfortable if you just avoided doing it when he's around.

Do you guys live together?

This isn't a judgement sub. Did you want advice on how to talk to your partner and come to a compromise?

No, I don't find it gross.

If you don't like the relationship that much, just leave. He can find someone that doesn't sexualize the relationship with his sister.

I wouldn't bring up that you're jealous because that's fucking weird. If it weirds you out, sure, but don't expect things to change because, again, it's not that big of a deal.

Every family is different. My family and I share food all the time and it's not a big deal.

Just tell him you weren't feeling it and move on. You guys aren't in a relationship.

I'm guessing he's uneasy because they're dudes, which just screams insecurity since obviously men and women are capable of being friends.

Just remind him that they are just friends, they know he exists and that you aren't single, and you're trying to make friends and feel less alone. Don't cut out friends for a dude.

You're already happy not talking to her for a long period of time. You're better off single.

>I'm good with not talking to her for weeks or even months

Sounds like you might as well be single.

A normal, sane 40 year old doesn't go after someone who just turned 20.

If he has a habit of dating people who are just barely not teens anymore, he's a creep

He's 25 years older than you and fresh off a break up. Sounds like you're a hot young rebound.

Ew

Given that he's done this more than once, I'd take a break from the relationship.

He can't be trusted. Plain and simple. Once is a fluke. Twice is a habit.

I'd get some therapy for yourself and probably sleep in separate beds for the next little while.

Has he even apologized for what he's done or was it a lot of "oh, but I was drunk."?

You don't have to "get it". You just have to listen to your partner. He knows what he wants better than you do.

Ask your partner. He knows what he wants better than some randoms on the internet.

But it doesn't sound like he's asked for anything else. You need to chill.

What sort of advice are you wanting exactly?

What was the "joke"? Either way, I'd also explain to her that a joke is only a joke if both parties find it funny. If she thinks those jokes are funny, maybe she needs to reconsider how harmful her idea of humor is.

The both of you need to seek therapy if you aren't already. You guys aren't able to support each other in a healthy way if you make a deal about "one ciggy and one cut".

Don't go into a relationship expecting someone to change.

You take them as they are. If you don't like them 6 months in, you're never going to.

Find someone that's more compatible.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about. If anyone should be embarrassed, it's your shitty ex.

No worries. I've been in a similar situation so I get how easy it is to get sucked into it.

I wish you the best. Don't hesitate to reach out to your friends and family. I'd imagine they want you to be safe and happy.

30 year old with a 19 year old was already a giant red flag. Then he spent your money and left you entirely reliant on him. I'm sorry, you've been taken advantage of. There's a reason he was looking to date someone much younger.

Don't buy into the sunk cost fallacy. Doesn't matter how much time you put into it, he clearly doesn't give a fuck and wanted a hot baby sitter for his kids, not an equal partner.

Leave and never look back. Reach out to friends and family for help.