Where can I acquire this beverage? Asking for a friend

I guess I must be the opposite. I drink a monster ultra every working day In the morning, it doesn’t give me a buzz, it just wakes me up to a normal level of alertness and makes it so I don’t literally fall asleep at work. By mid day I need a caffeine boost to stay awake

Yeah, we never figured out if he prefers on the cob or off the cob