I went through this as a teenager triggered from smoking pot. Absolutely changed my life (nearly ended it too), but I feel like coming to terms with this has enriched it greatly.

Interesting that you mention similar feelings, it's not something I ever talk about or thought that others might experience as well.

Honestly, who knows? But I like to live my life as if, when I die, I'm born back into that same life again and just replay it over and over... Bit like Groundhog Day for life.

Make the most of it, just in case this is all there is.