She doesn’t drink because she a narcissist, but she definitely thinks her own emotions and feelings on any matter are more important than everyone else’s.

Most recently, my sister broke up with her BF of five years and my mom liked the dude a lot. She felt hurt when my sister ended things and took it out on her. This was months ago and she still says awful things to her about it. Not once did she ever think to console her or understand why the relationship ended. She made it about her. This is what she does.

I think she drinks because even at 60 years of age, she still doesn’t know who she really is. She projects a person she wishes she was to other people, but that person isn’t her, and as a result she is never comfortable in her own skin. So she numbs that negative affect with drinking.

It’s easy to expose by just trying to have a real conversation with her. Ask her how something makes her feel. What she likes to do, etc. you will see the simulation for what it is.

My mom is a narcissist, but my dad will never leave her. She’s a drunk as an added bonus. Growing up around that sucked. My sister and I were constantly gaslit into believing that we were to blame for her rage and pain. I still have problems knowing when I should be upset in my own marriage. To her credit she never hit us, but the mind games were probably just as bad.