DuesCataclysmos

DuesCataclysmos t1_jap3yzs wrote

"Before I accept your proposal, it's only fair to you that I confess something first.

I've been harboring a secret, a truth about myself which I've kept from you and almost everyone I know for fear of facing rejection and judgement.

I have a certain medical condition. It's not painful or life threatening - more of a cosmetic issue really - but it embarrasses me, it disgusts me, and no treatment or drug exists that can cure it. So I must live with it. So will you, should you still choose to marry me."

"My love... I know you have to shave your beard, I've known for years. Listen, all women have facial hair, it's just genetics that your hair comes in darker and courser. Honestly, I'm hoping it offsets my hereditary baldness when we have kids."

"No, idiot, I have... acidic sweat."

"What?"

"My sweat, its pH is ridiculous, way more corrosive than most. I'll tarnish that silver ring black within like 30 minutes of wearing it."

"Darling, I'll get it plated in platinum."

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