I would rather feel bad and have money than feel bad and not have money because that would make me feel even worse. It sounds like you feel bad whether you are medicated or not.

There is no way to fix this. You simply have to keep making payments if you can't get a loan for the difference

The IRS has a W4 calculator https://www.irs.gov/individuals/tax-withholding-estimator

You filled out the W4 and they entered it just like you requested. They can't figure out how you want it done

I can't understand this at all

It depends on where you live and what you want. Do you want land? Do you want to live on a golf course? Suburbs or city? It's less about money and more about where you want to grow as a family. For instance, we lived in a lower priced house with some land and a pond but poor schools but we planned to use private schools. We ended up moving to Appalachia to a college town where all the schools were good and got a great house in a private neighborhood. Our priority went from cost to safety.

Or I just take out the trash myself because my wife is busy doing something.