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talentkills t1_j604qia wrote

Once in a meeting we were discussing how we would reward employees for metrics. While talking about the budget I said "well obviously we don't want to blow our load on just one employee"

We quickly moved on

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PocketOppossum OP t1_j608a8o wrote

That is so funny! I worked for a larger organization that hosted a yearly fund raiser called "the big grape". We had an E-mail chain get started by a female manager to talk about the event, but they missed a "G" in their subject line in the E-mail. For the next month we were all making jokes about the "bi grape." You can imagine where it went from there with kitchen staff.

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L1P0D t1_j60i13l wrote

At least it wasn't the big rape.

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PocketOppossum OP t1_j60izep wrote

Yeah, I always meticulously checked how I spelled it after that for that exact reason!

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Fritzo2162 t1_j65bv1y wrote

I used to work for a guy that had a stick so far up his ass he couldn't slouch- didn't cuss, didn't joke, everything was dead serious business.

One day I went into his office and said "The network is going to go down for 20 minutes during lunch. Someone mucked up the firmware on the firewall and I have to reflash it."

He stared at me for 10-15 seconds...I was waiting to get yelled at for someone else's mistake....but then he just went "OK. Let me know when it's done."

Later that day I was in a meeting with some co-workers, he walked in, and blurted out "Hey...did you find out who fucked up that firmware?"

I was shocked...he never used that word in the office the entire 10 years I was there. I blinked a couple of times and said "Excuse me?"

He got a bit huffy, then in a forceful voice retorted "Yeah, I want to know who...in your words...fucked up the software. If we're talking like that in the office, I'm joining in." (I'm going to note he looked physically PAINED to say the f-word. I honestly think he's never said it before.)

Again, I blinked a couple of times and replied "I actually said 'MUCKED up the firmware.'"

We just stared at each other for a while...him looking at a room full for 10 people...and he mumbled "Oh...my mistake..." as he shuffled out of the room.

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