This too shall pass. My Tiger Balm story...

I was dating this woman, and one night early on she asked for a shoulder massage. We had not been... together yet, at this point in the relationship. Figuring I am going to deliver the best massage ever, I grab my Tiger Balm from my gym bag. After about 10 minutes the massage takes a very adult turn. I in my excitement completely forget during the kissing/clothing removal that my hands are covered in the stuff, and once my underwear is off, I proceed to do what is a normal sexy-time thing for me - start stroking my shit in preparation for whatever is next.

What was next was like 15 minutes of burning dick skin, and the end of sexy time. Lesson learned, if a massage has ANY CHANCE of going further, no Tiger Balm.