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OceanSupernova t1_iwepm9o wrote

Call her bluff and ask your granny if she thinks you're in the wrong when you talk to her, it might be hard but just explain it. The first paragraph you wrote here is all you really need when it comes to explaining your side of things. Even if your granny agrees that your mother is in the wrong though just leave it at that for a while, don't go straight to your mother saying granny thinks you're in the wrong because that will just throw more fuel on the fire and next thing all three of you are fighting.

With family stuff all you have to do is say what you need to and just give it time. Anything can be resolved, all you need is time.

If no one sees sense and your gran takes your mothers side I would just drop it rather than wasting your energy fighting them both. It was a really shitty thing for your mother to go through your stuff in the first place and I would just refocus your efforts into getting a lock for your bedroom door or at the very least a lock on your dresser. If your mother has a problem with this then explain to her how she invaded your privacy and made you feel guarded in a space which should be your own safe place.

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troubled_stranger OP t1_iwgoyfa wrote

Calling bluffs doesnt work on my mom, unfortunately. She only blows up more and with the way she acts when reason is provided and her problems have clear and understandable solutions im pretty sure shes a narcissist. Both savior and victim complex. Thankfully my hranny is a lot more reasonable so she should understand.

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ajm900 t1_iwgtm0c wrote

This advice is for dealing with a reasonable person, and ngl, OPs mum sounds like a bit of a narcissist and sounds like she sees OP as her property with no right to privacy

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Smirnus t1_iwetg95 wrote

Teens shouldn't expect any privacy while living with their parents. With that said, there's way more harmful behaviors than using a vibrator. I'm sure mom flashes back to all the decisions she made at that age and the regret she may have for those actions. Flipping out at her daughter may also push her further into decisions mom not agree with. Pregnancy, drug use, self harm would all scare me more than a bullet in my daughter's room.

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[deleted] t1_iwfedc5 wrote

Imagine thinking that masturbation and owning a sex toy are bad things, lmao.

Also, yikes at "Teens shouldn't expect any privacy while living with their parents". Boundaries must be established, for both parties. Everyone needs privacy and the comfort of their own space.

This is why everyone should legally have to go to therapy before having children, because holy shit this is an insane take.

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Parttime-Princess t1_iwfxvic wrote

It seriously keeps surprising me every time I see a post with a teen not allowed to have a freaking door for their bedroom. Like what. Privacy is a human right

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MakuNagetto t1_iwg7kpr wrote

Lazy (or possessive) parenting from unqualified people who probably don't know how to form healthy relationships.

Parenting ain't easy but most of us can reproduce. Society tells people having kids "is what you do", so they do.

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Smirnus t1_iwg7zhg wrote

Potentially contributing to why a teen could be involved in harmful behaviors in secret. But privacy isn't a right even for people independent of their parents.

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GoNoMu t1_iwgipaf wrote

Nono, it actually is lol

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Smirnus t1_iwgpn7n wrote

On paper, reality has more exceptions whether allowed by law or not.

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Smirnus t1_iwg7q1p wrote

Tell that to your government

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wraith1221 t1_iwgo5y4 wrote

Do you have a tinfoil hat?

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Smirnus t1_iwgpk15 wrote

Do you have kids?

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wraith1221 t1_iwgsl7f wrote

I’ve seen what parents like you are like go to therapy

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Smirnus t1_iwgza6t wrote

The only things you know about me, O.P. or O.P.'s mom are what are posted here, which may or may not be complete truth. You get a different perspective when you are responsible for others that don't have the same sense of responsibility.

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wraith1221 t1_iwh17ew wrote

Privacy is a human right regardless if the fbi/cia secretly watch they legally can’t do much with the info they gather from illegal surveillance anyway.

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DanT102 t1_iwfz5st wrote

Why is a teenager not entitled to privacy?

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MakuNagetto t1_iwg76m4 wrote

What a severely unhealthy way to see things.

Teenagers have a right to privacy. Have a think about how you shape a young person by making them feel like they're always being monitored. As if something as silly as an arbitrary legal age is the solution - a day before ain't cool, a day after is fine.

Another shitty thing in your POV is considering masturbation and healthy, responsible sexual habits as something bad. You should be modelling that shit for your child, not shaming them for it.

You may think you're being caring. You would 100% have the opposite effect on any teenager, for absolutely no good fucking reason.

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Smirnus t1_iwg90s9 wrote

Adults are always being monitored for good and bad. Privacy doesn't exist in the modern world. Everything we communicate electronically is subject to illegal spying that still continues even after Snowden's exposure.

Freaking out at your offspring at the discovery of anything unexpected isn't the move. Mom may be pissed because her child may be having more orgasms than she is. I'd be more concerned about finding pregnancy tests.

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MakuNagetto t1_iwgaitu wrote

>Adults are always being monitored for good and bad. Privacy doesn't exist in the modern world. Everything we communicate electronically is subject to illegal spying that still continues even after Snowden's exposure.

Are you seriously comparing one's digital footprint with whether or not a teenager has a right to privacy?

I'm not gonna keep arguing in good faith. That's some ridiculously fucked up whataboutism.

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TheRealPequod t1_iwggqyf wrote

Honestly, this fool is deranged and the lack of privacy they were given as a child shows

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Smirnus t1_iwgs69f wrote

Maybe your parents should have told you not to post nudes online with your face in them, but looking good bro.

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wegbauer t1_iwgv0u2 wrote

Pretending you found their nudes doesn't put you in a better light buddy

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Smirnus t1_iwgyw6w wrote

Pretend nothing. Click on someone's username, click on View Profile, click on comments, scroll down. Homie got in shape, makes his uncircumcised piece look bigger, good on him.

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wegbauer t1_iwh4ghh wrote

God I don't know what's more pathetic scrolling through someones full post history in search for something you can use against them, or thinking that their nudes would give you some leverage.

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MakuNagetto t1_iwhd0qw wrote

TIL: I have nudes on the internet and I should be ashamed of them (no I don't, and no I shouldn't).

I did not realise to what extent this man is damaged. The second insinuation is that he has a big peepee, so small peepees are inferior, therefore he's not inferior. Betcha he scrolled my posts to determine whether I'm male first.

If you have a look at other posts in the thread, he's trying to die on a lot of hills simultaneously. Even responded to another post of mine, LOL.

Holy shit, not what I expected when I first posted a few hours back. What a ride.

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Normalbike2 t1_iwiq1h5 wrote

Me finding the opposition’s nudes online when I’m losing an argument

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Smirnus t1_iwix12r wrote

Actually, checking someone's post/comment history can give you a sense of where they coming from. Now I've seen where he's cumming from.

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PeaceLoveNavi t1_iwh37ry wrote

You're fucking stupid. I don't even have the energy to tell you why, all the downvotes seem to be doing that well enough. Not to mention, if you ever have kids and treat them like that, they'll cut all contact with you as SOON as they're able to. You suck lmao

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