Submitted by throwway_1768 t3_y9ghwc in tifu
maurtshop t1_it5h6ub wrote
it's kinda scummy that you lied (by omission) about it for so long but like, you did allude to it in the past and she just ignored you. and if she ended a year long relationship over this one thing maybe you, uh, didnt fuck up as hard as you think you did. just a thought.
throwway_1768 OP t1_it5hogf wrote
I don't really know at this point. She just doesn't trust me anymore. She thinks it's disrespectful that I didn't tell her about it. All of these are feelings that I don't think are uncalled for.
Patient-Quarter-1684 t1_it5kdmz wrote
You dodged a bullet.
Yes you lied by omission, but why did she seem to be ok with mocking you for not being sexually experienced?
She supposedly wasn't experienced either.
Very juvenile behavior.
maurtshop t1_it5hz6e wrote
i mean, did you explicitly say you were a virgin? did she ask? or did she make that assumption? i get youre going through it but it feels like you're leaving something out here.
throwway_1768 OP t1_it5j9ev wrote
She never asked the question directly and I never said anything about it either. I wasn't sure if she was joking about me being a virgin till a few months back when I realised she'd assumed this for the longest time. Even before this, I'd tried telling her once that I'd had experience in an indirect way and she brushed it off. We never had a direct conversation about it.
maurtshop t1_it5k61c wrote
yeah no dude that's a really weird assumption to make about a person. if it's that important to her and she didn't establish that out the gate esp when you tried to clear it up then.... idk what to say she just doesn't sound particularly mature or good with communication. you should've been more clear earlier for sure but i understand what an awkward sitch it put you in. i know youre going thru it rn but ngl it sounds like it wouldve imploded one way or another. not entirely your fault
throwway_1768 OP t1_it5kdz0 wrote
That's the thing, she's told me that it wouldn't have come to this if I didn't lie about it. I don't think she can get herself to trust me on anything anymore
maurtshop t1_it5kns6 wrote
that doesn't sound true tho. you guys both messed up, the communication here is just not it. you really really shouldn't be blaming yourself entirely when she didn't clue you into any of this. you're not a horrible person, you just sound like youre in your 20s
KittikatB t1_it5xa39 wrote
It's also disrespectful of her to dismiss you telling her you had past experiences. It really sounds like she ignored that because she didn't want to know and only got pissed when you finally put an end to her pretending it wasn't true.
Bluddy-9 t1_it5j5l2 wrote
You both probably made a mistake, but that’s young love for ya. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it.
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