Submitted by turbulent_turnip2 t3_126xr1c in tifu
I've (20M) been friends with this girl (21F) for about a year and a half now and we've grown really close. Initially we actually met because I asked her out but it developed into a platonic relationship. She very much saw me as a brother figure and wanted to keep it that way. She was under the impression I had gotten over my feelings for her and I told her I did. In reality those feelings still existed and I was just repressing them because I wanted to be a good friend. I knew if she found out again things would be over because she explicitly told me how much she values having a friend who isn't interested in her romantically. I tried for so long to keep it that way but it made it impossible for me to move on.
Whenever I tried to think about dating other people my feelings for her just made it impossible. I knew there was never a chance of us getting together and to be frank we would never be a good match. We're very different people who expect different things from a relationship right now. The guilt kept eating away at me for feeling this way, I truly didn't want to. I felt dishonest and ashamed because I felt like one of those guys who is only friends with a girl in hopes of dating her. Was I like that? Not sure, but I never really had hope that we'd get together. I felt like I had to do this in order to give myself closure and move on with my life. It seems like that has come at the sacrifice of our friendship and she doesn't want to continue it anymore.
I feel absolutely terrible to the point that I actually have thrown up from nerves. She was the closest person in my life and I pretty much just ruined it out of the blue for my own sake. I think it would've been more admirable for me to keep it to myself and continue the friendship and learn to move on without sacrificing it.
TL;DR Told a longtime close friend my feelings for her and it resulted in her wanting to no longer be friends.