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hartlepaul t1_j90avhk wrote

Lucky escape for you I think...

−12

asteroid_b_612 t1_j90bmvl wrote

Well he could’ve just not told his friend if it was that bad.

Why did you want him to tell his friend? Were you super adamant about it and pressuring him even after he said “no I don’t want to tell the story”? Or did he not object to it until afterwards?

If I were him and I really didn’t want to tell the friend I would’ve just made up another story and then glared daggers at you so you would understand to just leave it at that

26

Terux94 t1_j90cap9 wrote

He's.... thinking about dumping you over an embarrassing story? How absolutely fragile. You're better off without.

−13

-holdmyhand t1_j90n5qb wrote

If your boyfriend's friend is a true friend, he's gonna keep the story to himself. I understand your boyfriend's concern because some culture will literally disown you by your own family for doing something stupid.

14

JayTheLegends t1_j90nmev wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,854,162)

So you brought it up twice. It sounds like he said no and you didn’t respect that answer for whatever reason and pressured him into it. How did you not catch that he didn’t want to share it? You’re the one who made it awkward for him to not share it…

24

THphantom7297 t1_j90p4wg wrote

Replying to Patient-Quarter-1684 (#1,854,251)

Did something dumb, wanted to keep it private, Girlfriend preassured him into sharing it with someone he didn't want to. He has every right to be mad. Just because you do something stupid, doesn't mean you lose all rights to being upset when being preassured. She messed up and it wasn't her right to push to share it.

26

Specialist-Farm-931 t1_j913nqx wrote

Nahh if his family or someone from his country gets to know about this he is fr fucked. The country which i am from, here it's a scandalous thing. I am pretty sure it's the same thing with his place too. He's not "overreacting" or anything, he is scared

32

THphantom7297 t1_j92ilhu wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,855,148)

If I could offer a suggestion, go apologize to him if you can, and ask him if you can reach out to his friend together, and insist its very private and he didn't want it shared, and regrets doing so. Im sure if the friends a good guy, he'll understand, and that might help patch things up. Otherwise, just try to be there. I think his reaction is a bit extreme, but he has his reasons, so don't try to diminish them too much. End of the day, you'll just have to wait and see what he says and does. Mistakes happen, and i hope he forgives you.

1

shoulda-known-better t1_j92x8nt wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,856,031)

Well, if part of his career has to do with working with people from his home country, it very well could be.... once you get shunned for something like this, the people he knows will not stick around for fear they will be looked at as the same, so no more contacts for his career..... you see it as an overreaction because in your life and your country, it's not so much like that..... if it was, I'm sure you'd understand better

5

Zaku0083 t1_j931xzu wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,854,170)

But he was fine with an act that was 'equivalent to going to a strip club' behind your back.

Not encouraging you to dump him or see it as good luck he might dump you, but encouraging you to look at the whole picture.

−1

gelastes t1_j93r1ta wrote

Replying to ArmadilloSilly (#1,863,484)

In this context,

a hindu in a steak house,

a muslim at a whisky tasting,

a Brit watching an American football game,

an American at a communist rally,

a Chinese reading Winnie the Pooh,

a German having fun,

an Italian in a Pizza Hut,

a French guy eating French fries in a Five Guys,

an orthodox Jew at a twerking workshop on Shabbat,

a Republican at a Support the Dreamers charity dinner,

a nanny enjoying Southpark's 'Kick the Baby' episode,

a catholic priest ... nevermind, nothing they do will shock us anymore.

11

jnolta t1_j94ipou wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,855,100)

Naw, you didn't think it was a "fun" story. You weren't happy he had done it and low level wanted to shame him. It just turned out to be way more shaming than you expected.

9

THphantom7297 t1_j95385k wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,860,584)

Then unfortunately i think you're out of luck and just have to wait until he decides fully. Sometimes we make mistakes and things don't just get fixed. If he does break up with you, learn from it so that you don't make such a mistake next time, and move forward.

1

alchmst1259 t1_j96a77o wrote

Why were you so insistent about sharing your/his dirty laundry? Furthermore, if he felt really bad about it, why are you continuing to bring it up and make him relive it? Sounds toxic to me.

2

Kyuthu t1_j973eno wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,854,778)

It doesn't work like that in certain countries. People literally disown family members for things they do, that bring shame on them and similar.

This is unfortunately a very naive point of view and depending on how serious it is, could end up with a lot of people not talking to him or harrasssing him.

It's serious enough for him to break up with you over, that should give you an idea what his friends and family are likely to think.

2