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redecided t1_ja9b8i0 wrote

You are 19. There are a lot of wins and losses left in your future. Take them as they come and realize there's always a new day.

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Kayback2 t1_ja97ppw wrote

There's nothing better to be than that.

It's enough to say it's not for you.

Don't be negative on the sex worker or sex work because it didn't give you what you need.

Honestly at 19 you don't know enough to be making most of the statements you are. You sound like you should really spread your wings a little bit and not go back to your ex. Going back to what's familiar is good and all, but unless you really want it you'll not be happy. And it doesn't sound like either of you are in the right place to be happy.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja98e3h wrote

I really want it. And yes, I'm not in the right place and that's why I'm not getting back with my ex right now. But I'm making the efforts to grow as a person and be better and happier, I'm going to therapy. Besides there is very little information in this post to assume anything, I'm just talking about certain events in my life and my personal growth

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F4t45h35 t1_ja9ad5s wrote

We don't have to assume alot when you say things like "only person I've ever loved" at 19.. You're young, probably lots more heartbreak and bad sex on the way. The advice to spread those wings is a solid one.

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wheels1989 t1_ja9bpsl wrote

You will laugh about this in 5 years. Not a big deal kid.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9bwoo wrote

Yeah well I don't really care, it's a big deal for me now, just because it won't affect me in the future it doesn't mean it's not affecting me now.

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wheels1989 t1_ja9es9k wrote

I am just saying don't beat yourself up people make mistakes. You will chuckle about this to yourself in 5 years.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9iyxc wrote

I know it's a mistake but I can't help but blame myself, how can I stop beating myself up? I really try.

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Drewstosay t1_ja9zj5r wrote

nah, I'm not 19 anymore but fuck this, kid has some shitty ways of talking about sex work and should probably reflect on that but other than that this is a big deal in their life and you telling them it's not is real shitty.

Next time you have any issue at all I hope someone who's had it worse or been through it tells you that your feelings aren't a big deal. Lost your house? not a big deal move on, oh you have a medical emergency? Frank was pronounced dead and has to learn how to walk again yours isn't a big deal.

"big" is relative and for a 19 year old who's recently gone through their entire life structure they had changing (because leaving school is hard and a big deal even if you or I went through it a long time and ago and are fine) more changes and questioning what they know, want, and have, are a big deal.

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wheels1989 t1_jaae0hl wrote

Lmao are you serious ? Nailing a hooker and losing your house/ becoming very sick are not on the same planet you goof. I would call his night out a success tbh.

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wheels1989 t1_jaaetev wrote

Just letting you know on a scale of 1 to 10 stupid you sir hit a 10 with that statement

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hunhades21 t1_ja9rrtc wrote

People here tell you that u are so young, you have so many things in your future, just move on, you will laugh about this, etc etc. Yes they are right, but what everybody forgets when you get older, that the stupid things that you laught at when you look back are your biggest problems at that time. I think that the "weight" of a problem is always totally subjective and dependant on your current situation. At the age of 4 your bigest problem is that someone bited you in kindergarten. It hurts just the same as you lose your job or or to get fucked by life when you are adult.

So, at the moment your bigest problem is that you broke up with your girlfriend and now she wanna be together again, and in the meantime you fucked a hooker.

I think that the hooker thing will fade away quickly, you feel bad about it rn but mainly because of your ex. Yes u regretted it, you leart your lesson, you will move on with a bit of time. Losing somebody on the otherhand is a big deal. Breaking up with somebody especially if it was a serious thing has the same effect as mourning but obviously not as serious. These things need time. A big plot twist os that she wanna be back together. Well, only you guys can actually decide if it is a good idea, it is a double edged sword. If you can fix the things that led tou your breakup than maybe this can turn out well. On the other hand, if you had major disagreements, maybe you feel like you will be able to fix it but it probably won't happen and you will be in the same boat. Only you can decide tho. Talking about it deffinetely helps.

Don't feel ashamed of the hooker, everybody makes mistakes, especially when you have to suddenly grow up in your age, when you relize you are not a kid anymore, you make some messed up decisions, but these things are actually the ones that make you grow up.

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ChaoticCherryblossom t1_ja9m3vj wrote

Everybody here invalidating you is a major asshole. I hear you man, process it and curse the world if you need to. Use this as being in the bottom of the well and the good thing about the bottom is that you can only go up now. Best of luck man, feel your feels

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9mgpp wrote

Thank you so much, I'm willing to improve and look for good things in life. I feel like people invalidate me because of my age, and yes, I'm pretty young, but that doesn't mean I don't suffer lol.

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ChaoticCherryblossom t1_ja9n0jq wrote

It's shitty as well to invalidate regardless of anything lol. I'm 22f, but telling me kids are starving in Africa won't make anyone's depression go away like wth. If it serves any consolation tho, better to make this mistake as a teen than when you're an adult (wouldn't be forgiven that easily)

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wanking_to_got t1_ja9798y wrote

Good sir, why do you start and seem to fear things that do sound so fair?

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja97kmj wrote

What do you mean? Can you explain? I don't really understand the question

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JOwenAK t1_ja9floy wrote

I think what guy who masturbates to game of thrones is saying: is that you're spending too much time worrying about things you can't control and/or things that haven't even happened yet and might never occur anyway.

You need to chill a bit. You're very young and I appreciate this all seems like a huge deal now - and it sucks, but it will pass and your life will get better. Push forward.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9heov wrote

I try dude it's just that it's hard, now that experience is in my mind and it really fucks me up.

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wanking_to_got t1_ja9hwg3 wrote

Or have you eaten on the insane root that takes the reason prisoner?

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iaintdum t1_ja9971z wrote

This sounds like a lame therapeutic post.

With that said, it sounds like you paid for a great lesson. Leave it at that and forgive yourself for the fuckup. Walk away with he excellent life less and FORGET IT EVER HAPPENED. For real, forget it. And whatever you do, do not tell your ex or any other person.... ever. Strike it from your mind and move forward.

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xynix_ie t1_ja9chih wrote

What you learned is that sex for the sake of sex doesn't fill emotional voids. The fact that you paid for it directly means nothing in this context. Paying for it through "chore play" is still paying for it if your intent is to have sex with a girl your dating or even your wife.

Sex with strangers fills a physical void for many that don't need an emotional hole filled up.

So move that out of the way..

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sirDapskie t1_ja9fy3e wrote

You need to talk to a licensed professional.

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vanishwhite1 t1_ja9aul8 wrote

I got no clue why people are hating on this shit but people gotta realise that everyone deals with their own shit and are allowed to rant about shit if it makes them feel better. Good luck man, meaningless sex isn’t gonna fill that void but I think you already know that. I hope it all goes well for you. Have a good day.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9bq5j wrote

Thank you very much, I needed this, without a doubt I'm struggling a lot lately, I cry almost every day and it's hard. Thank you for your wishes. Have a good day as well.

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bubba7557 t1_ja9pvf9 wrote

Pays for sex, then immediately makes judgement claim that he's better than that, implying the sex worker is somehow shameful. No bud it's your attitude.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9rk0g wrote

You got it all wrong. Listen dude, it's my values I'm talking about, I'm not shaming anybody.

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NapoliPirateBernardo t1_jaa27s0 wrote

Yikes this thread is cringe and pretty sad. Sorry OP that you are getting dragged for not being into hookers. Look at it as something you experienced and you know it is not for you. We are all allowed to not like something even if it is a service that *certain types* of people will defend to their dying breath. and I know how it feels to lose someone you think is your forever at a young age. We have all been through it. If it is meant to be it will be. Focus on yourself and making yourself a better person. Everything else will fall into place from there.

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Cyneganders t1_ja9ey12 wrote

Did you really FU, though? You learned a lesson about yourself. You should take some god damned pride in that. You don't understand how many people get to twice your age without realizing things like this. If you want to see how far ahead of the crowd you are with this realization, go out to a club for older patrons and see how many guys (and tbh, ladies) in their 50s are still desperately chasing tail for the sake of it.

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SDennis05 t1_ja9jjec wrote

Hey man I know people generally don’t like being told what to do with their life but trust me man I’ve got 10 of my friends who used to all be sad in their life (I mean tbh almost everyone is depressing nowadays)

The one thing you can do to make your life better is getting onto self improvement. It’s hard work but you’re young and so am I and I’m telling you it’s gonna change your life. I suggest the youtuber “hamza” Watch his video named something like “full guide to self improvement”

Idk why but reading this post made me feel you’re the type of person to listen to my comment since not all people can get onto self improvement because some people get really mad and and think I’m saying their life is shit and everthing but trust the process and you’ll be happier. Be happy to dm me about your thoughts on this if you want.

I’d be happy to talk about your situation in more depth too since I went through a breakup 2 months ago and learnt a lot from it. Realise that even if you never get your ex back you’ll be happy. Trust me girls won’t make you happy ever. They are just a bonus to you if you’re already happy. Don’t forget dm me haha

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Newish_Username t1_jaa0v6b wrote

I had a one night stand with someone I had no feelings for. I felt the same after.

Not everyone is built to move from sexual partner to sexual partner. In fact, I would argue most, well-rounded people want something stable. Work on yourself, and things will fall into place. Also, don't be afraid to date. Even if it goes horribly wrong. It took me 20 first dates before I found my fiancee'.

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Bloodiest-Taint t1_jaae157 wrote

Man, Reddit is so toxic and everyone is so quick to judge. Unbelievable how people couldn’t tell you weren’t bagging on sex workers. Keep doing you big guy. Glad you learned what you like.

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PoisonCMX t1_ja9j8xz wrote

You learned the lesson. Forgive yourself and move on. It took you to learn it by doing so, but if you didn't do it, would you have learned? I wouldn't dwell on it. The next worse thing you can do is let it affect your future.

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InternalOk1723 t1_ja9q9g2 wrote

This is not a quality FU. The most boring hooker story I’ve ever heard. Not worth sharing

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adlcp t1_ja9r5ya wrote

Sounds like a win.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_jaaqwwv wrote

> this didn’t fill any void

No worries, I think you filled her void

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No-Nobody-8334 t1_jac7wl1 wrote

You have to live your life forward but you can only understand it backwards. Lessons learned, go ahead. In a few years or decades you can laugh about it.

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ethanwa79 t1_ja9os0b wrote

“I’m better than that”.

Paid sex is not for you. That’s ok. But “better than” what exactly? What’s “THAT”?

We need to stop tiering morality like it’s some kind of status.

“I’ve reached morality level PLATINUM everyone!”

Fuck that dude. Let’s not make others feel like they are wrong for doing exactly what you just did and now you’ve chosen to rise above them.

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StickDock2107 OP t1_ja9p8te wrote

I'm not trying to impose any way of making decisions, I'm talking in a very subjective way of what I want to be in life. I'm sorry if I make it look that way but I'm talking about myself, my goals and my own values

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ethanwa79 t1_ja9pff7 wrote

That makes sense. In the future just say “I realized it’s not for me” and that will be enough to convey your point.

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