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riddleloaf t1_ja7ih4p wrote

Girl, this IS a loving relationship. It sounds like you want someone who makes a big show out of getting married and makes sweeping gestures of romance, and he wants a loving relationship with a partner he considers his best friend.

A word of caution: the relationships are all about infatuation and grand gestures flame out pretty quickly. The ones based on being best friends are the ones that last.

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ZeroRozuMagika t1_ja7w4xt wrote

I think you’re right. I’m a romantic but being in a loving relationship with someone you trust and love to talk to is the most important thing.

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zhibr t1_ja7qwc1 wrote

She's bought the "true love" myth from the romance media and industry and doesn't understand the problems are caused by the unrealistic expectations placed by it.

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riddleloaf t1_ja7x9jl wrote

Yeah exactly this. This post screams “I’m 20 and only ever had Disney princess expectations of love”. This line of thinking is super toxic for so many reasons, but one of the big ones is sweeping romantic gestures only set you up for failure. You’re always going to compare everything to the NRE (new relationship energy) or “The Wedding”. Everything in comparison will seem like your partner is failing. Love isn’t the wedding. It isn’t the infatuation you felt the first year, either. It’s the little moments where your partner makes you snort-laugh at a silly joke he told. It’s the serene walk you took together with your dog. It’s discovering a show you love and getting to tuck in and watch it together after a long day. It’s being able to enjoy each others company while doing separate things.

Love isn’t infatuation, or constant impressive gestures. Love is simple, reliable, and cozy.

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ZeroRozuMagika t1_ja80imh wrote

I’ve had long term relationships before. I know that infatuation fades. I’m not naive.

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