So this happened a little while ago but the story pops into my head at least once a month and every time I die a little more inside. I should say at the start, I have ADHD and am a massive over sharer, if I am nervous the over sharing and urge to talk non stop gets even worse.

I was with my ex Mike for about 3 years, after we separated we stayed really good friends (and still are to this day) I also got on really well with his family - 2 siblings and their partners and kids. When we were together their mother passed away so being there during that time really added to how close we were.

About 18 months after we separated Mike was going out for dinner with his family. Both siblings live a couple of hours away and they don't see each other very often but they were coming to town and all going for dinner. After dinner they asked me to come meet them for a few drinks and to catch up. I hadn't seen them in a while and as me and my ex were now separated I was a bit nervous but also happy to see them.

The conversation was flowing and we were soon chatting about genealogy as I had helped the family build their family tree, so i was telling them about what I had found out and it was all very friendly. I then moved onto tell them how my family had recently found out my mothers father is not who we thought - this was all discovered through a dna test on a genealogical site. As you can imagine this has been huge news in my family and it all turned out well but it was all a huge shock.

Then IFU - I asked Mikes brother in law (Tom) if he had that thought about doing a test with him being adopted so he could find out about his family. Both his children (Ed, 17 and Stacy 14) were there and Ed pipes up - what's that Dad, you are adopted? It turns out his children didnt know he was adopted, he had never told them.

The silence seemed to go on forever before Tom muttered something about how he was sure he had told them and then back to silence. I did not know what to do, I wanted the ground to swallow me up but instead I kept muttering to his wife that I was so sorry and I thought it was something everyone knew, she kept saying its ok but I just felt awful. I excused myself, ran to the restrooms and had a little cry before coming out and apologising another hundred times.

Soon after and without much being said the evening wrapped up. Mike and I ended up staying for a drink and I told him I thought it was common knowledge, he told me he didn't even know. We think his mum must have told me (blame the dead woman!) but to that day im not completely sure how I knew.

Later on I messaged Mikes sister and apologised again. She said it was honestly all fine and when they had got home they had all sat down and talked it through. She told me she had wanted him to tell their children for ages so it was really no problem but I am not sure that was the best way for them to find out such personal news.

Mike and I do joke about it from time to time, usually something along the lines of whats the worse things you can ask people over dinner and wouldn't it be awkward to expose a family secret.

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TL;DR Went out for dinner with my exs family and asked my ex brother in law about his adoption. Turns out his children didnt know about it