First know that getting so enraged that you lash out physically at someone is by definition an impulse control problem. This isn't normal nor acceptable regardless of (what you might feel is) verbal provocation. It sounds like she's got the same problem. These things don't fix themselves and if you're self medicating with drugs you're only making your mental illness worse. Both of you need some intensive therapy (and possibly medication). Go get some help before you wind up in prison.