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carbinePRO t1_jefszjv wrote

Reply to comment by StarrySunflower714 in Partner (22F) won’t sleep with me (23M) by [deleted]

You can be romantic without sex.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jeft35a wrote

What on earth would be the point? You’re not allowed to sleep with anyone then what on earth would keep you there

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peakpenguins t1_jefudc2 wrote

Different people have different intimacy needs. There's nothing wrong with needing sexual intimacy in a romantic relationship as many people do, but there are people who don't consider it a necessity.

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carbinePRO t1_jefwbe3 wrote

Aromantic and asexual people exist though. Are they not allowed to have significant others because they often times aren't motivated by sex or conventional intimacy? Your idea of how a relationship is supposed to work is very narrow minded and restrictive.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefwi3z wrote

They can date each other or other people with the same general (lack of) interest. Why should I be punished for it? Sex is one of my favorite things.

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carbinePRO t1_jefwt4b wrote

It's not a punishment though. They shouldn't be together if sex is OP's #1 priority, but you're painting out OP's gf to be this person who's maliciously withholding sex. Do you think that OP is owed sex?

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefwzuk wrote

No but i think you shouldn’t constantly reject your partner and should let them find another outlet or just leave so they can find someone worth dating wish similar desires.

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carbinePRO t1_jefxq0g wrote

So then if they're going to stay together she has to put out? That's a pretty shallow and manipulative ultimatum, don't you think?

I agree that the advice here is to have a larger discussion about wants and needs, but you're coming out here with a massive bias and ignorant stance against aromantic individuals. It's not wrong how they do (or don't) feel about sex. All you needed to say was, "She needs to change pills." The rest was extremely, unnecessarily vilifying of OP's gf.

>Sex is one of my favorite things.

Please leave your bias out of this.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefxyp9 wrote

Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health. If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then. There’s no point.

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carbinePRO t1_jefyufn wrote

>Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health.

What? Again with vilifying of OP's gf. She's not maliciously withholding sex. What is your problem? Not being in the mood shouldn't be damaging to your partner's mental health if there's proper communication happening. Like I said earlier, the best course of action here is to communicate feelings and desires with each other as it seems that all OP has ever done is just ask for sex. He doesn't know the why. He needs the why before a solution or compromise can be made.

>If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then.

You've exposed your ignorance, because ace-folk still have do and like having sex. It's just not as frequent or a motivator for them like it is for most. Please leave your bias at the door. I don't think you're able to have a level-headed discussion on this topic as long as you keep making bias claims against ace-folk.

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