I agree 100% with your last paragraph.

> not wanting to continue riding a bus that is going nowhere good, and saying "either change course or I'm getting off

Everyone should choose, and I totally agree that the authoritarianism of the church is antiquated and needs reform. But I belong to many (way too many) organizations I would like to see move in another direction. You are always forced with the question of simply throwing up your hands and saying "well THAT's a lost cause" or staying and trying to effect change. It's a hard choice and in various contexts I have made both choices.

I don't think I have ever belonged to any organization whose cannon I agreed with 100% percent of the time. From Boys Scouts to PTA to city council. You can quit or you can accept the good it does and try to be an agent of change.