Submitted by cynic-el t3_119wpsb in nottheonion
Comments
teplightyear t1_j9pouf3 wrote
The Pentagon has even issued this warning before. I'm pretty sure they just reissue it periodically to make sure all the young guys get a chance to hear it before they try using that as an excuse.
OdinsLawnDart t1_j9pp9ng wrote
That's likely. Super unfortunate though considering how often a love of heroine paired with bagels go hand-in-hand. Damnit, Taliban! You've won this round
Pastel_Phoenix_106 t1_j9ph3lx wrote
Didn't even think that. I just heard the bass music.
Seattle_gldr_rdr t1_j9s77yo wrote
Cue Kate McKinnon: "Wenodis"
FuehrerStoleMyBike t1_j9ohwt9 wrote
thats why they are banned from german prisons since they kept leading to false positive tests.
doesnt feel worthy for this sub though. Thats just regular news.
Thai_Lord t1_j9odqui wrote
Fairly sure everyone over the age of 12 is aware of this.
AutumnSunshiiine t1_j9pf1hk wrote
I didn’t know. Never gave it much thought.
Poison_Ice_Blade t1_j9pce7s wrote
Not everyone knows that opium comes from poppy plant.
It might be more common knowledge with Europeans because of their trade history. But i don’t think its that well known in America.
Thai_Lord t1_j9pd8hm wrote
Literally everyone in America knows this. Mostly from Seinfeld, but I also learned it at least 37 times from other kids in school.
BrightGreyEyes t1_j9sm8hv wrote
Yeah, but learning about it like that is the kind of thing that could make you doubt it
Poison_Ice_Blade t1_j9pe0ry wrote
Seinfeld? Is that like a tv show? Kinda sounds like one. My school also never talked about drugs so openly. So I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I learned it from an anime that is based in industrial Britain, they briefly referenced the opium drug problem they had at the time.
Thai_Lord t1_j9pedj1 wrote
No it's a band duh
Poison_Ice_Blade t1_j9pepr9 wrote
That would explain it, I’m not interested in music enough to justify knowing song or band names with the exception of the most popular ones.
Thai_Lord t1_j9peszg wrote
No way.
SultanasCurse t1_j9tbgjz wrote
People haven't seen things. Shocker.
Cindexxx t1_j9s8pyh wrote
It's hit and miss.
Fun fact: it's because they're doing it wrong. The seeds don't contain any opium. It's in the latex. But commercial processing just squishes the pods to separate the seeds, and it's smashed all over them. They're supposed to wash them but it costs more so..... Nope lol.
Aloha_Fox t1_j9opv0i wrote
When I was in the Marines the lemon poppyseed pound cake was the second most sought after item from any MRE (provided by the DoD), second only to jalapeno cheese.
drillgorg t1_j9pmqhy wrote
I gotta know how people ate the jalapeno cheese? Did they put it on food or just raw dog it?
Edit: I'm an idiot jalapeno cheese is a flavor of bagel. I thought there was just a coveted flavor of blocks of cheese.
Aloha_Fox t1_j9q15bb wrote
It was a cheese spread. It came in a pouch. We ate it straight out of the pouch, spread on crackers, or mixed into one of the other menu items like chili mac.
Iwasrightdamnit t1_j9ps1z1 wrote
Yes
area_tribune t1_j9p1cbx wrote
Can confirm
dj4slugs t1_j9ofkrz wrote
I guess they missed that episode of Mythbusters.
h8speech t1_j9oh2o8 wrote
Hm? What did Mythbusters say?
Because u/cynic-el had a real study to contribute
dj4slugs t1_j9pmj16 wrote
They agreed. They did the test on themselves.
WarWonderful593 t1_j9ohjac wrote
So you want out? Just eat poppy seeds.
The_Lapsed_Pacifist t1_j9qxdtr wrote
One assumes you’ll lose all your benefits.
ConnieLingus24 t1_j9p4nag wrote
Elaine Benice has entered the chat.
Pastel_Phoenix_106 t1_j9phbdd wrote
"Oh, and one more thing, you may have osteoporosis."
Oseirus t1_j9p3fua wrote
This is the same Pentagon that unilaterally banned anything to do with CBD, including lotions and OTC food products/supplements.
Even if the possibility exists of showing positive, the Pentagon is extremely paranoid about this stuff.
BrightGreyEyes t1_j9smeez wrote
They didn't ban CBD so much as they made it clear you might still pop on a test
[deleted] t1_j9u6p32 wrote
[deleted]
Icy_Associate8487 t1_j9pq1ki wrote
That's been true for a while.
Frankthestank2220 t1_j9odykm wrote
While true, you have to eat an insane amount of poppy seeds. One bagel won’t make you piss dirty.
cynic-el OP t1_j9oed38 wrote
It depends how much is on the bagel… and watch out for them pastries… “Poppy seed cake, bagels, muffins, and rolls did not contain sufficient quantities of poppy seeds to give rise to opiate positive specimens by U.S. Department of Defense (DOD) GC-MS cutoff levels (morphine = 4000 ng/mL, codeine = 2000 ng/mL), although a number of specimens were positive by National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) cutoff levels (morphine and codeine = 300 ng/mL). However, ingestion of poppy seed streusel or Danish pastry led to confirmed morphine and codeine positive specimens, irrespective of the use of DOD or NIDA confirmation cutoff values.” Source: pubmed article
CassiusCunnilingus t1_j9ohd48 wrote
Didn't know they tested the boil on my back. Is testing puss a new method?
operationiffy t1_j9of2q7 wrote
As far as bagels go, not the onion, the poppy seed.
Royal_Acanthisitta51 t1_j9ok2tm wrote
I used to have to get randomly drug tested for work. I asked about it at medical just before I peed in the cup. The tech laughed and said it used to be true but they were using a newer test that did not show positive if you had a poppy muffin or bagel. I never had a false positive.
lomirgenii t1_j9onvby wrote
Oh totally makes sense. In India we make this sweet dish called gasgase payasa which use poppy seeds... Is the tastiest thing and we serve it during festivals or celebrations etc. Everyone takes a nap after a cup or two after eating this. Here is the recipe. https://youtu.be/Oomz63k74dg
Zealousideal_Wish687 t1_j9pm0hv wrote
Far more likely that (much like thanksgiving meals here in America) that eating a lot of food and partying makes you tired. Opium comes from the dried sap of an unripe poppy seed pod. Not dried and baked seeds.
lomirgenii t1_j9rd887 wrote
Awww man. Let it be my headcanon. Then I can go around telling people that my family used to get children high by ritualistic consumption of opiods.
BadlyFed t1_j9oybe0 wrote
Someone near the top knows they are going to pop positive on a piss test and wants to have an easy excuse. Everyone knows this but you would need to eat a fuck ton to get the point you popped.
Urgullibl t1_j9pi7xl wrote
...that's been known for a long time, yes. Don't see why it would be oniony.
themanwhomfall t1_j9q24jr wrote
That actually true, myth busters did a segment on it.
psilocin72 t1_j9qbx8z wrote
Troops eat a lot more than poppy seeds. I live near Fort Drum in northern New York and the place is crawling with all sorts of drugs
Fast-Reality7650 t1_j9rtz5l wrote
You can take my liberty but ill be damned if you take my poppyseed bagels
MikeTheGamer2 t1_j9sar3t wrote
How are we not able to differentiate actual drug use from someone that's eaten some poppy seeds ?
RealPrinceJay t1_j9yg8w3 wrote
Was a D1 athlete in college, we were warned of this as well lol
cynic-el OP t1_j9ofpvq wrote
Bonus personal story: my father once baked poppy seed muffins with an extra heavy measure of seeds (if he likes a flavor, he really likes it… when the recipe calls for 1 clove of garlic he adds 3…) and these muffins tasted great: I ate 3 at 6 am just before heading off to high school. By 11 am I could barely keep myself awake and I kept dosing off in classes, but I made it through the day and as soon as I got home I took a nap. Later that night when we were talking about our days, my dad said he could barely stay awake at work, and we both suddenly made the connection to those muffins.
Zealousideal_Wish687 t1_j9plqid wrote
You do know that opium comes from the sap of the unripe poppy seed pod right…and not the actual dried and baked seeds? I think you should do a bit of research before making half baked (or fully baked in this case) connections. If it was that easy to create that strong a reaction from just the seeds they would be far, far more controlled than they are.
Moms_spaghetti_6969 t1_j9s0yvb wrote
You can make an intoxicant off store bought seeds, it takes a lot though. The seed, pod, stem, and even the leaf still have latex in them, just not as much or as high a quality as from the living pod
BrightGreyEyes t1_j9smms9 wrote
The problem is that the seeds need to be cleaned to remove the sap, and the cleaning isn't always as thorough as you'd want it to be
OdinsLawnDart t1_j9ojj13 wrote
Didn't Seinfeld warn us about this in the late 90s?