Submitted by Over-Conversation220 t3_118d3d2 in nottheonion
Comments
groovy604 t1_j9jq9mq wrote
It just keeps going
"even finding himself in an extortion case involving the Girl Scouts,"
Heijoshinn t1_j9iz87q wrote
Oh that's fucking hilarious! Happy's about to get a new Nick name!
ryantrw5 t1_j9gi8tz wrote
It’s probably taco
Crono9 t1_j9i5059 wrote
Tickle me and rub my belly!
notfuckyfuckfuck t1_j9hu656 wrote
Who’s taco?
gamedwarf24 t1_j9i3yc2 wrote
He's the Purveyor of the world famous EBDBB&B.
notfuckyfuckfuck t1_j9i8vy1 wrote
What the fuck is that?
skankhunt402 t1_j9ilm1f wrote
He's in a LEAGUE of his own
ryantrw5 t1_j9ksgp7 wrote
Do you want to be friends on myface
NJDevilsFan1 t1_j9hvlkb wrote
This guy dont know taco, canyoubelievethat?
UltimateThrowawayNam t1_j9hvp5z wrote
That guy you shouldn’t taco’bout
notfuckyfuckfuck t1_j9hvu79 wrote
Goddamn it!
ryantrw5 t1_j9ksi8m wrote
Kevin’s brother
notfuckyfuckfuck t1_j9ksm1j wrote
From home alone?
ryantrw5 t1_j9ksz5a wrote
Yeah
Fetlocks_Glistening t1_j9gl0kx wrote
When they say "don't engage", they mean don't give him cookies, don't they?
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9gr6r2 wrote
That’s good enough for me
Swampwolf42 t1_j9gu2mt wrote
I C what you did there
_unsusceptible t1_j9ij6k1 wrote
I don't -- what did they do there?
BeakerMaus t1_j9jgg1u wrote
C is for cookie
timodreynolds t1_j9jp0eu wrote
That's good enough for swampwolf42
Affectionate-Goat896 t1_j9jo2zb wrote
No they mean he's immune to physical damage.
Stepawayfrmthkyboard t1_j9i1nph wrote
Turns into a real monster after too my cookies
Firm_Transportation3 t1_j9ixlos wrote
If you give him cookies he will never leave.
4morian5 t1_j9gyy02 wrote
Of course the police are suspicious of Cookie Monster.
He's a person of color with an addiction problem.
[deleted] t1_j9h33bf wrote
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bigbangbilly t1_j9hcbwp wrote
Are Mascots the new Clowns?
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9hksyd wrote
I really don’t want to relive 2016
appleparkfive t1_j9icj8d wrote
A lot of people say that every year is worse than the last. But I disagree. 2016 and 2020 were stand out years for the weird and the bad
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9icu76 wrote
Strongly agree.
Pleasant_Shelter t1_j9h1tr0 wrote
Gotta wonder about the details surrounding the extortion case involving the Girl Scouts mentioned in the article. My mind can’t help but go to GS cookie sales.
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9h2mzv wrote
This crime was the exact point he went from being a cookie menace to a Cookie Monster
JugglingRick t1_j9i4d8h wrote
This guy is fuckin weird, walked by him with my dog a few weeks ago and he gave me the creeps, then I heard he was a pedo and got used to cosplay as evil Elmo.
Locals are telling him to kick rocks and get out of town.
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9i4txi wrote
Sorry that you had to encounter him. It’s weird to post this bonkers headline and then actually find someone who encountered him in the comments.
JugglingRick t1_j9i53oc wrote
He asked to take a photo with my dog, he's a shy/aggressive great Pyrenees, so I said no I'm good. I got an immediate weird fuckin vibe from him.
A week later people started spreading the word that he's a pedo. My girlfriend told him to get the fuck out of town when she saw him last week. You can see him here melting down after someone threatened him.
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9i5ofd wrote
I was not prepared for that voice. That is all so weird. Glad you all are safe.
dak4f2 t1_j9yqvio wrote
Someone in the Santa Cruz subreddit said the saw him throwing hot dogs on the ground. They went over afterwards and there were pills in them. Don't let your dogs eat hot dogs off the ground.
[deleted] t1_j9jd23u wrote
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Elusive_Martian t1_j9i3a1y wrote
Gorefield be like:
SelectiveSanity t1_j9h4gq8 wrote
They're hoping he'll help them with an invasive species that threatens the local trees.
Firm_Transportation3 t1_j9ixj8t wrote
Its vision is based on movement.
StampYoPassport t1_j9jmzbq wrote
Weak ass, where's his drum squad at?
StampYoPassport t1_j9jn2zh wrote
GiveMeTheFloorModel t1_j9k51lf wrote
Ah yes. The Great Philadelphia Trash Fire of 2018. Good times.
OhHappyDay2day t1_j9hbutt wrote
It's the new local heavy metal band singer.
jkswede t1_j9jliev wrote
This would not even turn a head in New York.
acker1je t1_j9l1u8h wrote
“In 2022, we selected Disable Cookies. In 2023, Cookie Monster came to disable us”.
Marge_Farthouse t1_j9x7pmu wrote
I’d pay good money to have Cookie Monster verbally assault me.
TossPowerTrap t1_j9i3t7e wrote
I was hoping he wasn't a douchenozzle. Disappoint.
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9i40s2 wrote
It really is a shame. If you’re going to be a neo-nazi, leave the Cookie Monster out of it.
Good_Nyborg t1_j9j3wnp wrote
Homeless or not, I bet that keeps him pretty warm.
Xu_Lin t1_j9jay4a wrote
Mental Health is a bitch ain’t it? Lmao
Badaxe13 t1_j9jjllp wrote
THERE WILL BE FLUFF !!
thekabootler t1_j9jk83z wrote
Don't tell them about Philly Elmo
Over-Conversation220 OP t1_j9gvfdf wrote
Gets even better …
> A Los Angeles Times article from 2016 identified the man as Oregon-born Adam Sandler (no, not that Adam Sandler).