As the title suggests, something strange has been going on with my grandmother. It started about a month ago. That’s when I started writing down anything she said or did that was out of the ordinary. It has progressed into something truly bizarre and frightening. These are the logs that I’ve kept since it started.

My grandma just had a moment of clarity! She had a moment of true lucidity! I guess I should back up a little.

I’ve basically lived with my grandmother all my life. My mother passed shortly after giving birth to me and oddly, so did my grandfather. Dad was never around. It’s not important why.. The point is I never really had parents. I had my grandma.

Our family is very small. My grandmother's only other children were my aunt and uncle who have both passed. My uncle was gone before I was born. My aunt passed away when I was about 13.

It wasn’t long after that that grandma started showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Prior to that she would occasionally forget someone’s name. Nothing major though.

After my aunt passed it was just me and grandma. She was a very sweet lady who always wanted to take care of people. I just feel like life isn’t fair. She didn’t deserve to have this happen to her. She outlived all her children and then gets Alzheimer’s. If it was going to happen, it could have at least happened before the majority of the family was gone..

She had been through a lot. I can’t imagine how that feels. Aside from my aunt, I barely remember any of the family. For grandma to lose so many people in such a short time is just awful.

Grandma did have a wild side though. Hell, she once held a gas station up at needlepoint.. sorry… That was cheesy. Figured I’d lighten the mood a bit. This is getting a bit depressing but the reason I’m writing this is because something amazing just happened!

First I have to explain grandma's condition. She started slowly losing it in my early teen years. She was still able to take care of herself but would become confused pretty easily. At first it was just a once in a while thing. A slip up here or there. It progressed pretty quickly though..

By the time I was about 16 or 17, she needed an aid. I took care of her most of the time but had to go to school. Grandma lived on what was left of the “family money”, and was able to afford an aid to come while I was at school.

The family money is a bit of a mystery to me. From what grandma told me when I was younger, my grandpa used to be pretty wealthy. That is a zillionaire, but technically a millionaire. Especially for our little town, he was a wealthy guy.

He owned a few small businesses back in the day but ended up selling them. I’m not sure why there isn’t much money left, honestly. Maybe they spoiled their kids when they were around. Maybe they made some bad investments.

My grandmother worked full time until she was 60. I would think she’d have retirement that she’s been living off so I don’t understand why there isn’t more money. I’m not worried about an inheritance or anything like that. It’s just the fact that we can’t afford an aid anymore.

Her mental health deteriorated steadily over the years. After high school, I got a job right away to try to help out. Grandma had told me multiple times that she never wanted to be put in a nursing home under any circumstances. I figured I could work and help her at the same time so she could stay in her home.

This worked for a while but got tougher over time. We had an aid who would come for a little while each day to help her eat and go to the bathroom.

By this point, she recognized me but didn’t completely remember me. She was doing strange things like hanging pizza on the clothesline or putting a sponge in the microwave. I’d be lying if I said the pizza on the clothesline didn’t make me chuckle a bit, but I knew that it was getting dangerous. She wasn’t able to be home alone for any amount of time anymore.

We were unable to pay for a full-time aid so I ended up leaving my job. Between my savings and the last of the family money, we had enough to eat and pay the bills. It was just barely enough, but we got by.

That’s pretty much where we are now. I do some freelance work. I’ve been selling some stuff online. Stuff like that. I’m in my mid 20s and I’ll figure out my life when grandma is gone.. She needs me. I’m all she has now..

Grandma’s mental state has been rough. She doesn’t talk much anymore. Mostly mumbles. She struggles to find the words but can usually communicate what she needs. It’s usually some mumbles and I can vaguely hear “water” or “hungry”, “bathroom”, ect.

That’s what brings me to why I’m writing this. She hasn’t been able to have a real conversation in a few years. Today though, something happened.

I ran to the store down the street real quick. I was only gone for a few minutes. When I got back, I walked into the living room and saw grandma sitting in her chair staring out the window.

She had a big smile on her face. That was odd. She didn’t convey much emotion these days and almost never positive emotions. I asked her “Whatcha doin grandma?”

I was stunned when she replied.

“I’m waiting for the guys,” she said.

I couldn’t believe it. Regardless if what she said made sense, she hadn’t spoken a full coherent sentence in over a year. I asked her to elaborate.

“The guys?” I asked.

“Tommy and Eric are comin over and we’re gonna go skateboarding.” She replied.

This was even more strange. Tommy and Eric are the names of my childhood best friends. We’d go skateboarding around town all the time. That was before grandma started having issues.

I tried to keep her talking but it was like a switch flipped and she went back to mumbling. She had a moment of clarity though! A moment where she could speak clearly like she used to.

She seemed to recover a memory. It was my memory though. She knew my friends' names back then though. She could have remembered me saying that. It’s odd, but I’m taking it as a win. She showed that she could improve. If she had one moment of lucidity, she could have more!

It’s been a week since she spoke. I was losing hope and starting to think it was a fluke. It wasn’t though! Today, it happened again!

I was watching tv in the living room while grandma was in bed taking a nap. I heard a noise and immediately jumped up to see if she was okay. I got to the hallway to see her walking toward me with a big smile on her face. She can still walk, but she doesn’t much and she never moves this fast.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah!” She replied excitedly. “Has the mail come yet?”

“I don’t think it has yet today. Why do you ask?”

“My new board should be here today!”

“Your board?” I asked.

“Skateboard! It’s a Zero deck with Tensor trucks! I got Spitfire wheels and Bones bearings. I’ve been saving up for it for months! You can pick all your parts on the site and they assemble it for you! I got it without the grip tape on though so I can cut a design into it and put it on myself.”

Wow! That wasn’t just a sentence. It was a detailed explanation! I don’t get it though. Even if she remembered me waiting for my board to be delivered, how did she know all those details?

She wouldn’t have known those brands or skateboard parts even before Alzheimer's. She had no idea what I was talking about at the time.

She was right though.. Every detail. She described my skateboard perfectly. I must have been 13 at the time. I did order that board. I did get a grip tape separate so I could cut a design into it. I remember that it came out looking really terrible. I just.. don’t get how she’d know the details.

I asked her to further elaborate but after describing the skateboard, she seemed to return to mumbling and muttering again. It was strange to watch her pop in and out of lucidity so rapidly. It was more strange that in her lucid moments, she seemed to think that she was me.

I couldn’t explain it and I couldn’t find it any information on anything similar. I called her doctor. He said that it was possible for her to have moments of lucidity. He didn’t seem to grasp how detailed her explanation was though. She remembered something she wouldn’t have even known at the time. At any point in time.

Two days later, it happened again. I saw her sitting on the couch with that smile. I asked if everything was okay. Her smile turned into a look of shame. Then she told me about something that she had hidden under her bed.

Now, I'm not gonna say what that something was. I did have something hidden under my bed when I was a kid though. Something embarrassing.

Don’t worry, it’s nothing crazy. I’m not a psycho. It wasn't a severed head. I’m not a weirdo. It wasn’t a picture of a severed head. I’m not a pervert. It’s not a picture of someone receiving severed head.. it’s just something embarrassing that I never told anyone. It doesn’t have anything to do with a severed head.. Just using that as an example.

I mean it that I never told anyone. I never told a friend or a girlfriend. I’m positive I never told grandma. If she would have found it at the time, she would have said something to me at the time. Apologies again for not saying what it is, just know that it’s nothing crazy or scary or gross.

The point is that she knew. For the third time, she seemed to recover in memory of mine. This time, I have no possible explanation for how she could have known. She simply couldn’t have.

Somehow, she is recovering my memories. I’m over the moon to see that she’s having moments of lucidity and that she’s recovering memories. I just can’t get past how bizarre it is that those memories are mine.

I called her doctor again. She has an upcoming appointment in a couple weeks so he suggested we talk about it then. I’m frustrated by how uninterested he’s been. Something very strange is happening with his patient.

He could be a part of some medical breakthrough. If they can study what is going on with her, maybe they can figure out how to help other people afflicted with these ailments. Maybe they can help her recover her own memories.

It’s been another three days since she mentioned what was under the bed when I was a kid. I decided to try and spark some of her own memories. I brought up some old curtains from the basement and hung them up. I regularly asked her about her marriage and her childhood, but nothing seemed to work. I asked about her childhood home. I asked about her school years. Nothing. She just responded with the usual muttering.

It had been almost a week since her last “moment of lucidity” before it happened again. She told me that she was gonna take some time off of work to spend more time with me.. She said it exactly how I said it to her when I left my job to take care of her. Then again, she went back to muttering.

I tried to get a recording of her in these lucid moments, but it was like she knew when I was recording. They were also too random to know when they would come. After she told me she was taking work off for a while, I only had to wait a day for the next lucid moment.

She was sitting on the couch by the window when I walked into the room. When she noticed me, she quickly asked if I was okay.

“I’m fine. How are you feeling?” I asked.

“I’m feeling fine,” She replied. “I just gotta know, how did you know about my skateboard and the thing under my bed when I was a kid? What can you remember now? Can you remember when you got married? Do you remember having kids?”

“I uhh.. I..”

I started muttering. I had no idea how to respond to that. She was asking me the exact same questions I had just asked her the last time she seemed lucid. It’s like she was recovering my memories all the way up to the present. Did she think I was her? Did she think she was me?

I’ve been anxiously awaiting the upcoming doctor's appointment. I need to know what’s going on. I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve dedicated so much time to taking care of her that I don’t really have other people in my life. There’s no one to talk to about this and the doctor has been frustratingly nonchalant about my concerns.

We are now two days away from the doctor’s appointment and grandma seems to be having a lucid moment. As I’ve been observing her, I’ve noticed a specific look she gets on her face before the lucid moments come. I’m attempting to dictate what she’s saying to me in real time. I’m using voice dictation on my phone to help, so forgive me for random typos that might occur.

This time seems different from the others. She doesn’t seem happy. She doesn’t seem excited or nostalgic. She seems shook, for lack of a better term.

“I’m back! Oh my god! I’m back!” She said with a look of relief on her face.

“What’s happening? How are you feeling?” I asked.

“It’s..”. She paused and looked around for a minute. “Oh no.,” she said somberly.

“What’s going on? What happened? Where are you back from?” I asked.

I didn’t want to put too much pressure on her and her delicate state, but I had to get as much information as possible when she had these moments. She was very confused at first, but articulate more so than usual. When I asked where she had come back from, she had a horrified look on her face.

(Voice dictation from phone)

“The dark place.. they’re going to come and get me and take me there all over again!” She yelled as her calm demeanor turned into a panic.

“The dark place?” I asked.

She just paused and may be losing her lucidity. She went from calm, to afraid, and now has a look of pure misery on her face.

“It’s pain beyond comprehension,” she said as she tried to catch her breath. “It's physical pain beyond anything anyone could ever imagine. It’s almost like you feel more. Pain hurts more. Mental agony hurts more. They torture you in ways human beings can’t even comprehend. The dark place is Indescribable misery. It can’t be explained in ways human beings can understand. Living humans aren’t capable of understanding it.”

I began to ask her a follow up question but she continued.

“You don’t have the senses necessary to comprehend all of it. There is physical pain.. Immense physical pain. As well as mental torment beyond anything you could ever pretend to imagine.. There’s more to it though than just that. Those are just the aspects that can be described in a way that we can understand.”

“What do you mean by that?“ I asked nervously.

“There are aspects of life in the universe around us that we are unable to recognize or see. There’s things all around us that we can’t visualize because we don’t have the senses necessary. When you’re in the dark place, you develop those new senses… and you experience those new sensations. And they’re more horrible than anything you could ever fathom..”

I am completely confused and frightened by what she is telling me. What is this dark place she’s talking about? What are these sensations she’s referring to?

“Are you talking about like… hell?” I asked while somewhat wondering if I had completely lost my mind myself.

“I don’t know.. I guess it’s something like that. Different civilizations have had different interpretations of these dark places… I don’t think any of them got it right. They talk about fire and brimstone. I wish there was fire. Anything to light up the darkness. It always feels like I’m on fire. That doesn’t even compare to the other sensations though. I don’t even think we have words to describe them. I don’t know if it’s extraterrestrial, if it’s hell, or a dimensional rip into a place more horrible than anything I could have ever imagined..”

“It’s okay,” I said. “You’re home now.”

“They’ll come back for me eventually.. just like they did back then.”

“Back when?” I asked urgently. “When did they take you?“

“Years ago.. I think it’s years. There’s no way to tell. They mess with your head to the point that you can’t keep track of time and can’t figure out what’s happening aside from the misery and pain.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, confused and frightened.

“Do you know why that was happening?” I asked.

“My grandfather.. We used to all think the family was cursed. Poor grandma outlived all of her children. She would also eventually outlive her grandchild.. My grandfather made a deal with someone. I don’t know who it is. All I know is that he sacrificed the rest of us.. he bargained for grandma to be able to live to be 100 years old. They just didn’t tell him that she would start losing her mind in her 70s. She would outlive her own mind.. All of his descendants would be damned to the dark place. He didn’t know how awful it really was. He’s a human being, and human beings aren’t physically able to comprehend the things they experienced in the dark place.”

“So, you’re telling me that’s how grandpa got his money? He just sacrificed the entire family?”

I asked this question in an almost sarcastic tone. I figured that grandmother’s newfound lucidity had crossed over with her mental impairments.

“Yes he did..” she replied. “Grandma told me this right before they came.”

“Before they came? Before who came?” I asked.

“I never get a good look at them. It’s so dark.. for so long. I can hear the awful sounds they make. I can feel the pain they inflict. I endure the further sensations.. Those are the worst.. The ones I can’t comprehend, but I can experience. It’s immense misery that’s literally beyond comprehension.. No one on earth has felt this level of agony.. You never get used to it either. They somehow take away your ability to build up a threshold for pain, depression, and overall misery.. They know how to keep it constant.”

Grandma started coughing after telling me this. I went to the kitchen and got her a glass of water. She still seemed to be in a state of fear and panic when I returned.

“When did they take you?” I asked as she sipped the water.

“I knew something weird was going on,” she said. “My grandma who had been afflicted with dementia and Alzheimer’s randomly started having moments of lucidity. I tried to keep track of them. I started realizing that they weren’t her memories. They were mine.”

I don’t understand what’s happening. She seemed to be recalling my past memories. Then she seemed to be recalling my present memories. Now, it’s like she’s describing what I’ve been going through with her. I figured I might as well ask her what would happen next.

“When did they come? What happened with.. “your” grandma?” I asked.

“She told me about the dark place. She described it as best as a living human being could. I got her some water and inquired further.. Then there was a knock on the door..”

I’m trying to process this all in real time as I write this. Grandma hasn’t been lucid for this long in years. There are tears streaming down her face as she tries to describe “the dark place”. Is it something caused by her ailments? Hallucinations maybe? Is her lucidity more local than mental? Could this be all from her imagination?

Her crying started to get worse as I finished typing that. It was just a few tears and some sniffling but it has turned into a full blown sobbing now. She keeps talking about how horrible and indescribable the dark place is. It’s hard to tell if she’s really in a state of lucidity or not, but as I finished writing this down, she addressed me by my name.

“Shawn!” She shouted.

“Yes! It’s me, grandma!” I replied, I was excited because she hadn’t remembered my name in years.

“This was the conversation..” she said.

“What conversation?” I asked.

“The last one we ever had..”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“This is the exact conversation I had with my grandmother before they arrived,” she said. “They banged on the door. Grandma told me to run. I ran into the basement as they broke through the front door. I rushed down there and locked it from the inside. I could hear someone stomping upstairs and it sounded like they walked right past grandma. They weren’t here for her. They were here for me.”

I just tried to speak but she continued.

“I took my phone out and wrote down the last observations and conversations with grandma. I figured that someone needed to know. I posted it online as they broke through the basement door. It wasn’t long before they found me..”

“Grandm..”

She interrupted again.

“As it approached me, my vision blurred. My ears started ringing so loudly that I thought they would explode. I felt it surround me. It, them.. I don't really know who..”

I’m struggling to grasp what she’s saying. The dark place she describes sounds like hell, but she claims it’s worse. Why is she remembering my memories and why does she think she went to this dark place? Is this what she feels when she isn’t lucid?

Grandma I just started muttering again. The muttering usually means she isn’t lucid. She keeps looking over at the door and she still looks scared..

I was about to get up and go for a walk to clear my head, but there was a knock on the door moments ago.. Seconds after she heard the knocking, grandma looked me dead in the eyes and said “run.”

I’m in the basement now.. Something just broke through the front door.. They’re about to break through the basement door.. I’m posting now. I’m out of time and someone needs to know what’s happening. I’m still not completely sure.. I just... Shit! They’re in.. I love you grandma..